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Breath **trigger**

I was in a bad place last year I hated school ( I still don't like it that much) I was a horrible student I swore at the school principal and told him to f**k of on numerous occasions and I would skip class all the time and hang out with my "friends" they used to always run of when the principal saw us and I was regularly sent to the school counselor ( we have a good relationship now, she saw me in my worst of times and saw that I was having difficulties coping) in the hopes that m y rudeness would change but it never did, I would leave halfway through a class swearing at other students and I was a horror, but then term 4 came and everything changed my so called "friends" dissapered they were toxic to my health anyways and I began telling people that I am having trubble coping with all the changes in my life that occurred through the year they of course didn't believe me, but then I began to focus back on school I don't have anything better to do so I picked up the ball and found a new passion for learning that fire felt like it went out years ago but a lovely teacher rekindled that fire she showed me compassion even tho I was so disrespectful she taught me to breath when i was about to loose it and she helped me open up (AS we will call her) AS had a positive influence on my learning and is helping me when I struggle and .Doing math tutoring this year because I can finally see that all everyone wanted for me last year was to be happy. The thing is I pretend to be happy so that they leave me alone this year, I get told often not to sit alone and make friends but I have such difficulty with that in the fear they will be toxic because alot if my friendship end in being toxic they often use me Wich hurts but I'm used to it. The only downside to getting my grades up is nobody believe that I tell the truth and the mental heath teacher comes upto me and calls me a lier and a cheat he never liked me and I feel like I still can't do anything right all because people see the girl I was last year and I don't blame them. Dose anyone have any idea of how to get them to change there perception of me I feel like only AS Is the only person who wants to help me, so Please any advice would be good. 🦕

Re: Breath **trigger**

Hi @Maryhadalittlelamb, thanks for sharing that with us. Just so you know, I have moved your post to the Tough Times section of the forums. It sounds like it has been a really difficult journey for you. It is really great to hear that you improved your grades and found a love for learning. That must be such an amazing feeling! It is also really special that you have AS to support you. Have you talked to her about your experience with the mental health teacher? That would be horrible to hear those things from a teacher. It is not very kind, true or fair. It is a shame that some people have had this reaction Smiley Sad Is this mental health teacher, a school counselor? Or is that someone different? All you can continue is to try your best and show them that you are not that person anymore. You can't control what people think, feel or do.. but sooner or later they will come to realise that you have changed.. You could even talk to the teacher yourself and let them know that you are trying your best to be different and that you would like their support and encouragement. This can be quite daunting so I would understand if you didn't feel comfortable. This must be very stressful and upsetting for you. You deserve to feel so proud of yourself because you have come so far! What do your family think about what has been going on? We are here for you Heart

Re: Breath **trigger**

Thank you for your kind words @Taylor-RO 

The mental health teacher is not a counselor just another teacher in the well-being stafroom at my shool,and I don't really want to tell my family what is going on, they think I'm going well at school so I don't want to ruin that and thank you for your support x 🦕

Re: Breath **trigger**

Hi @Maryhadalittlelamb,

On your other thread, you mentioned that there is a school counsellor that you speak to at school when you need to. Have you had this conversation with them?

Would you feel comfortable to ask your teachers to have a conversation with you about your learning goals for this year and the amazing changes and growth you have had in the last year? Alternatively, a content co-ordinator or someone who can support your learning and help the rest of the teachers to understand where you are at now?

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Re: Breath **trigger**

Hi @Jess1-RO  


I can't talk to the school counselor for the rest of the term as she has left for a few extra weeks holidays and I can't really talk to anyone else because that's terrifying I am safe and thank you for your worry I'll find a way to get through this

Re: Breath **trigger**

Hey @Maryhadalittlelamb

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been having at school Heart You mentioned that you wouldn't feel comfortable talking to your family or other people about your situation, which is understandable. It can be really hard and really exhausting to explain a difficult situation to other people. You mentioned that you found a really good mentor and support person, your teacher AS. I was wondering, would you be able to ask them for some help in your situation right now? It might be a good idea to tell them about the difficulties you've been having with your mental health teacher, or even brainstorm with them ideas about how to get some of your other teachers to understand your current attitude to study and school :smileyface:

Whatever support you choose to go for I do want you to remember that the ReachOut community are always here to listen Heart Heart

Re: Breath **trigger**

Thank you @Andrea-RO 

for your support  AS is a amazing mentor and support person but I don't know if she will believe  or understand me because nobody at school dose. Not completely. It's hard to explain. But I just wasn't in the best of head spaces last year and everyone is sick of listening to me so it's easier if I just pretend to be happy now. 

Re: Breath **trigger**

Hi @Maryhadalittlelamb! How are you doing today? You've been such a great support to everyone on the forums. Heart

I'm really sorry that you're dealing with some toxic friendships. Smiley Sad I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it some more.

Re: Breath **trigger**

Thank you @WheresMySquishy  I have a quistion what would you do if you were in my shoes. I've got this friend that I've know since I was young we tell each other that we love each other but she has changed and it's a cycle of she pushes me away become  distant almost,  blames me for things not going right then if I tell her I need space she texts me a lot then I feel bad so I take her back again for the cycle to start over I love her she is my best and  sometimes only friend and I'm having trubble copping with her like this. She's only been like  this for the past year and o know  people change. But if you were in my shoes what would u do, I'm just not sure anymore . You know what I mean. I'm torn because I love her and I just can't cope with her.

Re: Breath **trigger**

@Maryhadalittlelamb  That must be so hurtful and frustrating. Smiley Sad It's so sad when your friends change and become more distant. That's happened to me a few times as well. I found that friends are more likely to do this if they are going through some kind of transition such as moving schools, going to university, their family situation has changed or they're going through some kind of stressful time.

I can't tell you what to do but what has helped me is weighing up the pros and cons of keeping the friendship. You could also try talking to her about it. There could be a lot of reasons why she is acting like this. I know a lot of people who respond to tough times by lashing out at other people, for example. I found this article really helpful when trying to explain to people how their behaviour made me feel. Additionally, are some tips about how to recognise a toxic friendship and this article can show you how to end one. Sometimes, the best decision can be to end a friendship for the sake of your mental health.

Even if you end the friendship, you will always make new friends in the future. A lot of my friends have come and gone and I'm always finding new people to hang out with. Often, people can just be a poor fit for us and there will always be people who we can get along with and others we don't click with.