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Can anybody give me advice?

Okay I really, really want to get help because I'm sick of feeling so down. I thought about telling my Mum that I self harm but I don't want to because she'll just tell my Dad and I don't want him to know because I don't want him to worry because he has a bad heart. Then I thought about telling my GP or my school counselor but I'm afraid they'll tell my parents. It's only getting worse and I'm struggling to cope. I don't want to call any helplines or anything because I don't feel comfortable with them because they're strangers. Please... Is there anything else I can do? 

Smiley Frustrated


*EDIT: I've just made a quick edit to the specific details of self harm. You can check out the community guidelines for more info here.*


Re: Can anybody give me advice?

Hi rudeandginger,


It's so fantastic that you have decided you want to get some help with how you have been feeling lately! You should congratulate yourself on that effort. Smiley Happy


As for what steps to take next, I wonder if your mum would understand the reason you don't want her to tell your dad about it if you explained it to her. Do think this could work? If you trust her, you know she will put your best interests first, so she may be the perfect person to tell as she can offer you a lot of support as well as being able to take you to the doctor for some professional help. 


If you still don't think telling your mum is an option, going to the GP by yourself could be a next step to take, especially if you are 16 years old or over. This government website has details about age of consent and confidentiality. It also mentions that you are under 16 but are deemed mature enough by your doctor to make decisions then you are able to give consent. If you think this would work for you, I encourage you to book an appointment as soon as possible and speak to the doctor himself/herself about what the rules on confidentiality and consent are. This way you can be assured about what your parents can find out. 


You seem like a very considerate and intelligent person, and you should be very proud of this, and your willingness to seek help!


Hope this helps,



Re: Can anybody give me advice?

Hey @rudeandginger 


Its amazing that you are asking for help and you are recognizing that you need to help yourself. You are so strong. It sounds like you are going through a lot and I can hear that you really want to protect your family and it sounds like your worries are very valid.


I know you said you dont want any helplines but have you tried headspace, there might be someone you could speak to in your area? Also I think Gabi has given you some great information there and we are always here to support you. 


I'm sorry I dont have much advice in this, all I can say is maybe consider writing you mum a letter and tell her what you are going through and let her know your worry for your dad knowing, maybe it might help you get the help you need. 


Take care 


**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Can anybody give me advice?

Hey Rudeandginger,

It is so amazing that you have come to this decision to seek help, I know how difficult that one can be! But it's awesome none the less!

Ruenhonx and Gabi have given you some really great advice there, but I just wanted to add my few bobs worth Smiley Happy

I wanted to point out that the school counsellor has no right to tell your parents what you tell them unless a. you are unsafe and are seriously considering hurting yourself or anyone else b. you want them to. It is never okay for them to breech confidentiality! It is apart of their job. But again it is entirely your call.

You said you don't trust the helplines because they are strangers. I once thought this two, but I have been in regular contact with KidsHelp Line for 2 years now and they have done amazing with me. SO maybe just give a call or send an email and be upfront say there are things you want help with but are scared because of this and that. Being honest is the best way, it helps Smiley Happy

I hope this helps along with the infor the other 2 gave you

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart