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Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

Hello

i didn’t realise (until after the fact) that I scratched a car in the parking lot of a shopping mall centre.

 

I had my music blasting. I was backing up, but my car seemed crooked backing up and my car looked to close to the other parked car.

 

I restraightened my car.

 

My little one comes to the door ands says, I can’t get in as the other car was parked too close to the line.


I backed out farther so my little one could open the door.

 

I saw a big scratch on their door, but wasn’t sure if that was already there. I had no idea I don’t pay attention to what cars park where.

 

It was busy in the parking area, so we left and went to another shop to pick up some decorations.

When I hopped out to get the decorations, I saw several scratches on my car!!!!!!!

 

That means it was me that scratched there car.

 

It was too late to go back to that mall to see if the car was still there.

 

Now I’m so worried and feel bad about what happened!! 😢

 

If I didn’t have the stupid music blasting so loud, I would have heard something!

 

I just feel bad now that I know it must have been me.

It makes me fall deeper into my depression for not paying attention to what happened.

 

I don’t even know there plate number to help them.

Someone would have parked in my parking spot within a few minutes, as it was busy.

 

This has happened to me MANY times in different shopping mall parking lots and I’m stuck with the damage. I just leave the scratches on my car when people have damaged my car, as I don’t know who did it each time. 😭

 

I just feel bad and EXTREMELY depressed that I accidentally did what others have done to my car.

I already take antidepressants and this makes me feel like I’m worthless and now I better double my medicine I just feel so bad.

 

Any advice from anyone who has gone through this?????????

Who realised later that you accidentally scratched someone’s car in a shopping parking lot??????????

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

Is a local community noticeboard on fb you can post on? I’m on our local one and I see things like this occasionally

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

Oh thank you so much.

I’ll look on the fb community.

not all communities have a fb page but at least I can look around the surrounding suburbs, whoever has a community page.

thank you so very much! Big hug

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

I can totally see how you'd be feeling guilty @DonnaOrn, and I think we've all had experiences where we've made a mistake like that, and while it does definitely feel horrible to feel as if we've done something to hurt or inconvenience someone, I think it's also important to try and be kind and accepting of ourselves in times like this. It's really easy to beat ourselves up and imagine ourselves to be the villain in a situation, especially when we are already feeling low as you mentioned. In the same way that I am sure you wouldn't let a friend or loved one think that they were a terrible person for what is very definitely an accident, it's important to show ourselves the same sort of kindness. 

I also just wanted to check in with how you're doing generally - you mentioned that you are struggling with depression a bit at the moment. I wanted to ask if you have any supports (professional or otherwise) that are able to help you with that right now?

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

No one posted on the community page.

I’ll keep checking over the next few days.

Thank you again for your help

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

Very depressed @Andrea-RO 

 

But I explained to partner what happened.

 

He wasn’t happy I caused several scratches.

he’s a pessimist and makes it hard.

 

My Dr told me to double my antidepressants when things get bad.

 

My little one is having a late bd party in a few minutes. So family coming over.

 

So I’ll do my usual and hide the depression.

 

Hope whoever’s car I scratched will forgive me 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Forgiveness would make me feel better.

 

thank you again got your help

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

Hi @DonnaOrn I'm sorry to hear that this experience is making you struggle so much. Speaking from the perspective of the other driver, sometimes it's a reality of life that when you put your car in a public area that accidents happen. My dad's car got backed into by a loading truck in a car park, it completely dented the door in the corner and now it's filling up with gross water that is making the car smell like an old gym towel. He was frustrated about it but realised that there was nothing he could do and just moved on with his life to get it repaired. In this case, I think a scratch is frustrating and inconvenient, but compared to a hit-and-run I would take the scratch any day as it's relatively easy to get fixed the next time they get their car serviced. I don't say that to undermine your feelings, but to tell you that in the scheme of things what has happened won't cause too much harm to the person.

 

I really do know what it's like to do something wrong while driving but I also know that as time goes on and you try to do better it will stop hurting so much. Just remember, they're called 'accidents' for a reason, you didn't mean to do it and the fact you've been so eager to make it right shows a lot about your good character. So please try and forgive yourself too Heart

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

Hi @DonnaOrn 

 

I may not have advice as to what you should do about the car situation, however, don't feel bad about yourself. You did not mean to do it, it was an accident, you are not a bad person.

If I'm being honest, I don't think you deserve your car getting intentionally keyed and scratched up - however, I understand the other person must have been frustrated. But that said, two wrongs don't make a right. 

 

I hope you are feeling better, and have found some resolution to the situation. 

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

Hi @Saltwaterdreamtime @Andrea-RO @StormySeas17 @Anzelmo 

I’ve kept an eye out on Facebook community pages and no one has posted anything.

I got to thinking about that day.
I realised something.
When I was backing out of the car bay, the driver’s door had the great big scratch on it.

But I remember it looked like White paint within the huge scratches.

My car and their car are ‘coloured’ cars.

 

I’m wondering if their car was already scratched up by a WHITE vehicle and my car just ended up scratching it more???

The white paint seen on the huge scratch makes no sense.

And the scratches I have on my car, there are not that many.

The white paint colour on their big scratch just has me really confused.
If I damaged their car that much, there shouldn’t be white paint scrapes on it.

Even peeling off paint from a vehicle, there’d be bare metal, not white.

I’m just confused.

I still feel bad. Even if there’s a possibility that I did a 2nd damage to their door.

Re: Can someone PLEASE help with advice????????

Hey @DonnaOrn !

 

Hope you are doing well and processing things in a healthy way. Chances are - that vehicle might already have had some damage, it wouldn't be uncommon or unlikely, and I'm glad it gives you even a little bit of comfort. I think the important thing is to try to continue past the situation as I'm not sure if you will find the other individual and their car. I'm sure that you are a good person with no ill intentions - don't feel so guilty and responsible for it as it was an accident.

Everyone makes mistakes, and at least no one was hurt, and I feel like if the person wanted to get back at you either to discuss things or get compensation, he would also try to reach out and as you've said, there hasn't been any luck finding him. 

 

Hope you feel better friend