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Can't let go, why won't they stop?

I'm really starting to hate people. Mainly online people, not here though cause I just joined. But there is a site I am on that guides you as you lose weight. There is a forum there & well, let's just say people are not the nicest on there.


I know I know I could just walk away right? Wrong. With my OCD, ODD & ADHD it's like drawing a moth to a flame. I'm the moth they are the flame.


I start a topic & that instant there is someone having a go at me for something I said or didn't say right (you know how words lose feeling on a forum) or the I offended someone (I'm not like that) or I was mean (huh since when?). If I try to prove a point & have all the proof about it, right down to nitty gritty...I'm called a liar. Even if the sources are from those in the know more than anyone else. 


I can't win. I don't want to win. I want to feel like I'm not the bad person all the time. The site is there to lose weight, forums are there for help & support. I get no help, even though I give it, and no support at all.


And they make me so damn stressed & mad I'd rather be dead someday. BUt the ADHD in me at least won't let me let it go. They get me in tears & I still can't go. I hate my life online. Pity it's all I have.


Sorry just needed to get that out.






Re: Can't let go, why won't they stop?

Hey PinkRayneDrop


Welcome to the forums Smiley Happy 


It is terrible to hear that you are having a tough time online, especially a site that is meant to be supportive and helpful, you are so brave for coming here and sharing your story with us. Well I think sometimes it is hard to walk away. I am a very passionate person and when someone says something I dont like or agree too I just get sucked into a debate/ disagreement/ argument so I can understand what you mean when you say drawing a moth to a flame. 


It is great that you are being supportive and helpful to others because that speaks to your character, some people are not always like that and even though it is hard to accept, that is just how some people are and sometimes you cant win but you are not a bad person. 


I hope just by letting it out you feel a whole lot better but you also need to take care of yourself, is there anything you enjoy doing that makes you feel better and less stressed? 


Have a look at this for some ideas.


Take care 

**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Can't let go, why won't they stop?

hey PinkRayneDrop,


Welcome to Reach Out! I'm so sorry to hear what a difficult time you've been having on that other website. I'm confident that your experience here will be really different

Have you tried contacting the people that run the website? They may be able to help. There should be guidelines attached to the website that lets the members know what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. If people are targeting you unfairly and rying to upset you then the online ommunity managers will want to know.

Here is a factsheet on cyberbullying that might be useful.


Let us know how you go. Smiley Happy


Re: Can't let go, why won't they stop?

There times where one needs to know when to blurt it out to those know all , bugger you! I am doing what best for ME and if you don't like it tough! You don't need people making more difficult then it is now!

I have dealt nasty people before.......far from fun.

Re: Can't let go, why won't they stop?

Hi PinkRayneDrop,


You have got some great feedback from other people on reachout. As you can see some online forums are healthy and others are not. I have seen alot of weightloss ones myself, not that I will name them but a fair few of them seem to have aspects of negativity associated to them. Sometimes I seem to interpret that people seem jealous of other peoples progress, rather than being supportive of their efforts. This is sad but I have seen it happen before.


Maybe you could look into searching other weightloss forums that may be supportive? This would provide you with that online environment you are struggling to let go of, but hopefully a new/different forum may be more healthy for you.