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Re: Confused and upset

Hey @MB95 

 

I think it is completely valid to not want to get into a relationship if you don't feel ready for it. It's a reasonable/ responsible decision, and shows that you really know what is right/wrong for you and your mental health at the moment, which is great. I understand that familial pressure to get into a relationship as it is something I experienced myself as it took quite a while for me to find the right person. It's important to take your time with these things and do what is right for you Smiley Happy

 

It sounds like you are really bothered by people's potential opinions of you which is quite common I think. It's not good if it's consuming your thoughts though Smiley Sad especially because 1) there's no way of knowing (with any certainty) what other's think about us and so we could potentially spend all day worrying about something that's not even there... and 2) there's always going to be people who have certain opinions of us that we can't necessarily change, and that's okay. What do you think you could tell yourself to make you worry less the next time these sort of thoughts pop up? If you can think of some things, do you mind sharing?

 

Thanks so much for sharing this with us by the way Heart. It's awesome that you feel comfortable enough with us to talk about it. 

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Re: Confused and upset

Thanks for being so understanding @Maddy-RO ❤ 

 

I honestly don't really know what to tell myself so if you have any suggestions I'd definately love to hear them.. 

 

I do always try my best to ignore the comments/questions and tell myself that I know I'm straight and their opinions don't matter but it's like I can never get myself to truly believe it because for as long as I can remember I've always been so worried about what people think of me. 

 

And I'm so used to not seeing myself as being worthy that I don't believe I'll ever end up with a guy anyway. I just feel too ugly, boring and worthless compared to other girls that I can't physically see it happening? So it's like I start taking on what they say and start believing that maybe the only way I'll ever end up in a relationship is if it is with a girl. It's so hard to put into words and I don't want to upset or offend anyone with what I'm saying. I guess I just don't have the confidence at all when it comes to guys and dating and relationships and all that crap so when people start saying shit it really upsets me and makes it worse and makes me feel even more pathetic if that makes any sense? 

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Re: Confused and upset

Hey @MB95

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you're really struggling with how you're feeling and your sense of self at the moment. 

In terms to what to say to yourself, I find that it can often be super helpful to think of the advice you would give to a friend who was feeling the same way. Imagine your friend had told you that they were feeling ugly, boring, or worthless, what would you say to comfort them? How would you reassure them, that they were loved, and that they are valid, and deserve a space in the world - even if they don't feel that way all the time.