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Confused feelings

I Like a guy & I thought he liked me as much as i like him but he shut me down the other day, but no matter much he hurts me/how angry i get with him 1 convo & im hooked on him all over again. Any tips that could help me to how do i move on? Or will he be one of those guys that i will always have feelings for?

Re: Confused feelings

Hey Kh,
I'm not exactly sure what you mean by shut down, but I'll do my best to help Smiley Happy
I'm taking it as if he said he wasn't interested, so hoping this is the right reply Smiley Happy
It can be hard when we find out the person we like doesn't think of us that way. It's happened to me twice, so I can sympathies with how hard it can be and how much it can hurt.
I think the best way to get over a situation like this is to remind yourself who you are.
Was there a specific reason why he didn't did what he did, or was it just a good friendship you had with him?

This was the case with one of the guys I liked, we were always talking, always laughing with each other, and it wasn't awkward when we were alone, I though there might be something more, but I was hesitant. My friend asked and he said it was just a really good friendship, we distanced for a couple weeks, I was a feeling a bit rejected, but I thought hey, he's a great friend and you know what that's okay with me. A while latter we found our friendship again and now (even though he's going out with my friend) we're still fairly close friends Smiley Happy

Back to your question for moving on, be kind to yourself. DO things that you enjoy. Remind yourself that you are who you are. You're unique in your own way Smiley Happy x
If you want to you can call KHL on 1800 55 1800 and have a chat to a counsellor, they are really friendly.
Let us know how you get on Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Confused feelings

Hi Kh,


I don't have any first hand experience here but I've seen some friends go through similar stuff (and watch a lot of tv/movies)


It's impossible to say whether he'll be a guy you still like in 10 years (even a years) time or if you'll look back to find it funny, even foolish. How old are you? Is this your first experience with these feelings or a potential relationship situation?

Assuming you're a female, a potentially great thing about these situations is that we love to talk and know about it - your group of friends, mother, sister, or close aunt, cousin or family friend would great people to find support and advice in. 

Spending some quality time with the girls in general can do wonders.


Also if he's being that confusing, and/or the extent of your friendship is making it harder it may be a good idea to take a break from him.


Rejection isn't nice, just like Bee said you need to be kind to yourself; make sure you continue doing things that make you happy and don't let him lower your self esteem - remind yourself of all the things that are great about you!

Re: Confused feelings

Hey Kh 

It's terrible that you are going through that and it does hurt when you try to give yourself to someone and they treat you in that way. You deserve better and you deserve to be happy. Getting over someone and moving on takes a lot but I found that from experience cutting off ties, deleting his number and letting him know that you need to move on and that he needs to give you space, keeping busy and making sure u are active to keep from thinking about him helps at times. 


It is a slow process and you can only move on when you are ready to and coming onto the forums is a brave step and it shows that you are ready for change so you should be very proud of yourself for that Smiley Happy 


Take care 

**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Confused feelings

Well there's no need to feel silly or stupid everyone has had feelings for someone they know deep down is never going to work . With things like this its sometimes good to look at it logically like do you see him in your life at all six months from now . as for moving on just distance your self from him or youll see him and youll start to have feelings for him again and youll be stuck in this pattern . and keep occupied give your self a project focus your energy towards something like looking at new jobs, filming a video , writing a blog something to creative to take up your mindspace hopefully this helps

Re: Confused feelings

these things are always tricky and there's never one magical solution. reasons why these things don't kick off in the first place could be because people are at different stages of their lives or they want different things. reasons why these things might work is because it just works. lol that's bright. anywho, he might be that guy you crush on for ages kinda like the look and don't touch. try distract yourself for now maybe ? avoid romantic movies - romcoms are okay i guess. or go out and meet lots of people. have fun ! life's fun !     


Re: Confused feelings

Hey everyone thanks for all the advice Smiley Happy first things first yes im female lol. I have found the advice from everyone to be very helpful Smiley Happy The thing that has hurt the most isnt that he told me nothing was gonna happen between us (cause deep down i knew that) it was the he had told me 2 weeks after we spent a night together (nothing happened all did was cuddle). There is apart of hates him be cause he new how i felt about him and that i wanted a relationship but oh well there is only so much i can do. this is not the first time that it has happened with this guy but im really gonna move on this time and not fall for his crao anymore. like you all have said i need to enjoy life and be happy with who i am and the life i have which i am. hopefully i can move on from him fast and find someone who truely makes me happy and really wants to be with me. A really huge thanks again to all for the advice! Smiley Happy

Re: Confused feelings

There are many times when we may like someone and they may not in turn share our feelings. So they are able to hurt us easily by their actions which they may not even be aware of.


It’s great to see that you are moving on Kh and not focusing on a person who doesn’t feel the same!

All the best in finding that special someone Smiley Happy