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Hmm, I'm not sure if this is the right forum to express this but here goes..

For many years now, something has been missing from my life. It's only quite recently that I have discovered that the missing piece to my confusing puzzle of a life is the unbeknownst denial of my sexuality. 


I am an 18 year old female and for a couple of years now, having sexual and emotional connections with men has never felt satisfying. I always needed more, if you get what I mean? And to be honest, after being with a guy, I always felt a sense of guilt, regret and somewhat of a depressive feeling. The thought of being with a female has always warmed my heart and made me feel a sense of stability.
I am proud to say that I am happy to finally be at peace with my sexuality.


My question to you fellow viewers, is how do I know tell my parents that I am attracted to the same sex? The thought of simply 'telling them' is horrifying, especially due to their firm stance in not believing in same sex relationships.

And my friends, who have known me for years. How do I tell them that I have been lying to them for years about my sexuality? 


Thanks all xoxo


Re: Confused

Hey Mcmcjc,


It seems like you've been struggling for a while internally on what you what. Sexual relationships with men never felt satisfying for you, felt depressive. It's nice to hear you say you have realised being with women makes you feel stable. It sounds like it was difficult for you to come to that realisation. I'm sure your friends will understand that you always told them what you thought was true at the time, and now it's different.


I'm glad to see you are feeling a lot more comfortable with who you are and how you feel. 


I've never come out so I can't draw on any personal experience. I think it will be a big change in your life, I hope it all works out well for you. I'm sure you can do it! Don't forget there is always lots of support around too.



Re: Confused

Hey mcmcjc and welcome to Reachout!
Coming out can be hard but it can be really rewarding to be able to talk about it to your family and friends. just make sure you give your parents sometime for it to sink in because it may come as a shock after 18 years 
here is a fact sheet that may be helpful
and here is a story that  is really interesting too
I hope to see you around the forums 



Re: Confused

Hey @mcmcjc 


Welcome to the forums Smiley Happy 


It sounds amazing being at peace with yourself and feeling happy knowing who you are. Coming out is an amazing thing and it can be scary too so being honest with yourself must have been very difficult. You are very brave. 


I think being open with family and friends would be very difficult. I have a workmate who is a lesbian and we were talking about how she came out, she said she was actually caught by her family and even though at first were confused, they grew to support her regardless. She also started dating a girl who had not come out to her family yet and she actually just sat her parents down and told them and because their relationship was a good, supportive and non-judgemental, they were happy for her and accepted it immediately. 


I think how you do it depends on how your parents and friends are like, if you feel you cannot tell them directly, a friend of mine left a letter for her parents and went somewhere else for a few days and waited for them to call her. Being honest with them is important but you can choose when its a good time when you are ready, have you thought of any options on how you want to tell them? 


Take care, let us know how you go Smiley Happy 


**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Confused

How you been going mcmcjc?

I hope you found some of that information useful and are feeling a little bit more at peace with yourself.

Have you been able to talk to anyone about what's been going on?