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So for as long as I can remember I have always thought I'm big, not necessarily fat (although in later years I thought that). Pictures would be taken of me, and then a year or a couple of years would go by and I would see the picture and think 'oh my god I was thin why did I think I was big, I'm so much bigger now'. This has continued for as long as I can remember, and it's still ongoing and I'm not sure what to do about it. I always think I'm so much bigger than people when I'm not; and even when I know I'm not I still think that way. As is typical with a young girl/woman, there's parts of my body I want to change, but they really bother me; especially my legs. I find every time I see a girl I always look at her thighs and legs and compare mine and wish I had slim legs like those girls. At the same time, I get girls saying they wish they had my body etc as I'm curvier; and even though they say this I can't help wishing I was just a skinny little thing but I know I never will be. I'm quite active, especially in the past 4 months or so it's increased a lot due to general life! I like to think I'm a happy individual and positive, and I try to love my body but it always seems to come back to this negativity. I've thought about going to talk to someone for this reason and others, but for some reason I can't seem to make myself go; I guess it's as if I feel that there maybe isn't something wrong with me, that I'm not justified to go as there's people with serious problems and way more important issues. I know that to go to someone you don't have to have something serious, but there's something stopping me. I guess in a long-winded way I'm just confused, and I don't know if posting this will resolve anything or even if anyone will answer but thought I'd give it a shot lol

Re: Confusion

Hey @MollyDuhn,

Sounds like you are having some conflicting emotions. I think women in general are very aware and maybe even insecure of there bodies. Your worst critic is yourself and sometimes the things you tell yourself aren't necessarily true. Last week we had a GR about Beauty Standards run by the lovely @Bee! - Also I'm terrible at links so would it be okay if you link it?  It has a lot of stuff about accepting yourself for who you are etc. etc.


If it's really worrying you totally go talk to someone, don't let those thoughts stop you - you are just as important as everyone else. Take care of yourself!

Re: Confusion

Hi @MollyDuhn,


Thank you so much for reaching out to us here and talking about how you are feeling right now. It takes so much courage to talk about body image and reach out to others to share your most inner feelings- we are very grateful for this and want you to know that in this community, there will always be someone here to lend an ear and offer support Heart


I can hear that these feelings and thoughts about your body have been something you have been having for a while, is this correct? I can understand why it would feel confusing right now. You mentioned feeling like you might want to speak to someone about these feelings, but have been finding it hard to take that first step. If you were to speak to someone about these feelings, do you have a person in mind? Have you spoken to any friends or family about this?


Body image and being aware of your body is something that a lot of young people on the forum can relate to. @annabethxchase has suggested a fantastic thread that this community just recently started talking about, and it might be a really good space to read from others' experience too



Did you know we have new Community Guidelines? You can check them out here

Re: Confusion


Here is the link for the SLOW-MO CHAT Beauty Standards @annabethxchase was talking about.


It certainly sounds like there are lots of conflicting thoughts and emotions around your body image and appearance.

I'm going to attach some resources we have

body image

what is body image?

6 ways to be body positive


I also wanted to attach this one on body dysmorphic disorder. As always only a GP or mental health professional can diagnose this but I thought the information may be relevent for you.

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Confusion

hi @MollyDuhn


it sounds like you're going through a really hard time, body image is really difficult but its amazing that you want to seek help. 


the butterfly foundation have some fantastic resources on body image and can help on finding services specific for this


Re: Confusion

Hi @MollyDuhn ,

Its very good that you are generally active! Everyone has different body types and I understand it is very easy to hate your own body for different reasons. I too get insecure about the size of my theighs because lately I have gained weight and thats where my body gains the most fat when I gain weight. I especially hate the look of looking down at my squished theighs when sitting. A great way to feel better about your curvy body is to tone up so that any fat you have on your body slowly over time turns more too muscle. Do not be afraid to consult with your doctor or a health professional about your body if you are insecure about it. And remember that everybodys body is different and that as long as you are at a healthy weight and feeling happy, theirs nothing wrong with being a little larger than others, I personally think that bigger more curvy woman are beautiful! Also if all else fails, for a quick pick me up why not try buying some new clothes that really work with your body shape?