Coping with life post operation
Heya everyone,
So as some of you know I had to have an operation on my foot to fix it. That happened last week on Tuesday!During the last week I've been battling with lack of mobility - as I have a back-slab plaster cast on my lower leg which is SOO heavy! And I'm not allowed to stand on it for about 12 weeks/3 months, with regular reviews to check on how the healing is going. Along with the that I'm in a lot of physical pain - it hurts to be standing up with my right foot hanging down, so I must have it resting up which it okay, but the pain can be unbearable and make moving around so difficult and draining!
I'm on some strong pain killers but they don't dull the pain completely. So I'm seeing a GP tomorrow.
With all of this pain and lack of mobility I've had a couple nights where I've cried myself to sleep. Of these sometimes I've felt completely overwhelmed by everything and just felt like it was all totally unfair.
I've felt like such a burden on my family at times because I am limited in what I can do, but on the flip side I feel like they aren't supporting me enough... My mum does the best she can which I appreciate with her lack of energy due to her health conditions. My dad sometimes helps and it really good but then he turns around and makes a snide comment or complains - which can be really hard to cope with at times. And my brother flatly refuses to help me at all, yet he'll "joke" around about hitting/kicking/dropping the cats on my cast and cannot see why I get frustrated with him.
I am frustrated because there isn't a whole lot of room at home, as it's a small house, so using the scooter can be a challenge because of narrow walkways and not being able to do a uturn, I often have to pick up one end of the scooter to move it around to turn! And crutches are a pain, and there isn't really the space to use crutches confidently either! Ugh it's just frustrating!
Sorry for the huge rant, I wanted this to be positive and to update you all on how I'm going as I know quite a few of you are interested to hear about it all 🙂
Things are going well with my foot. I'm onto my partial weight bearing stage and I'm managing it okay 🙂
I think I mentioned it above, my let xray went well, I only put a little pressure on my foot but it was okay and the surgeon said it looked good 🙂
I think I can mark this thread as resolved now 🙂
sorry i mustve missed that somewhere. i usually read and then forget to post or accidently close the tabs (i open lots of tabs as i work through notifications lol) im glad the xray went well and that its looking good.
it must be exciting moving onto the next stage. its been quite a while now and i expect itll still be a while before its fully recovered but baby steps count too.
🙂
@Sunflower18 thanks for asking, I was about to come here tonight so your tag was great timing 😛
I've been struggling a bit this week with dealing with the whole situation. I'm exhausted from the cast and non-weight bearing. I'm exhausted from navigating tight spaced at home on the knee scooter because I dislike crutches and they hurt to non-weight bear. Ugh.
Aside from the exhaustion I'm sick of feeling cooped up and stuck at home. I miss my independence. This is making it harder to cope with my depression as of late. I sit and I stare at posts on RO or at colouring pages or whatever task I've given myself to do, and sometimes half an hour will go by before I realize that I've done nothing - I'm starting to dissociate again. Sometimes it's barely any time and I can manage it, other times it's longer periods and I just ... I don't know anymore.
I had my psychiatrist and psychologist appointments this week, and my psychiatrist appointment went well, but my psychologist appointment, I cried (which I am fine with as it's become a safe place for me to cry) but then I was just so sensitive the rest of the day and I cried most of the evening because of little things that happened or didn't happen. Some were reasonable that I cried and felt upset over, others were tiny things that normally I am able to shrug off and accept it happened.
I'm feeling a bit defeated because I'm only 4 weeks through and I've got another 8 weeks non weight bearing still to go! 😞
It sucks that you are feeling so frustrated about everything at the moment @Bee 
I can only imagine how dis-empowering it would feel to not be able to get around easily or do what you want. It does highlight how much of a credit it is that you have been able to make it to your appointments considering it is difficult for you to get around. That is a massive effort and you should be proud of yourself for having that level of energy and motivation! 
I think it is normal to have days where you are sensitive, particularly if you have just had a challenging appointment or if life has been tough in general. It is also okay if sometimes it feels unreasonable, especially if that is something you can realise as you know it is temporary. I know how much self-awareness you have and how resourceful you are, so I was wondering if there is anything that you think could help in this situation? Forgive me if I am wrong but I think you have a way with words and a lot of inspirational experience. Have you thought of posting a blog? I acknowledge how frustrating it is to find ways to keep yourself occupied when you have a lot of time on your hands.
Dis-empowering is so accurate!
I guess it's something to be proud of, I more see it as a chance to get out and maintain my mental health recovery.
I've not really considered writing a blog, I wouldn't know where to start or what to write even. Maybe I could try journalling more...
Thanks @litgym ❤️ I don't know if I would be into starting a blog, I usually have enough to do with my photography instagram, but I've put that on hold for now...
@Bee that’s alright. im not really into it, i just more use it to take my mind into a different headspace. how have the last few days been ? thinking of you x
otherwise I'm getting sick of the cast! I want to free my ankle/foot/leg already! It neeeds a good clean and feeels sooo grosss!
@Bee glad to hear you’ve been okay !! great on you for not taking any pain relief:) totally understandable about getting the cast off, how much longer ? i remember having a cast on my arm and it wasn’t waterproof either so it was a BIG pain !!! sending my love
I have 9 days left in the cast! I go to the hospital I had my operation next week and the plan is to take the cast off and put me in a boot, but I'll still be non-weight bearing.
Mine's not waterproof either, although washing it's too bad, I got a bath board and just sit on that over the bath 😛 And have my leg out 90 degrees with a small towel on it just in case 😛 SO far no problems 🙂
But I can feel the dry dead skin on the bottom of my foot and it feels soo gross!
@Bee yayaya 9 more days !! at least being in a boot will better than a cast.
eh that must be so annoying. sounds like you’re doing well with it 🙂
The only thing I don't like about the boot it is makes it uneven for your hips and back, so it hurts, and unless you wear a sock it gets real smelly real quick! haha
(Oh and the glue for the Velcro on the inside melted last time I wore it in 2015! 😄 )
@Bee erghhh that’s so annoying:( how long do you have the boot for ? you’ve been so strong through this, i just want to remind you that
I'm not exactly sure how long I'll be in the boot for as I'll be non-weight bearing for 6 weeks and then I have to transition to full weight bearing which could take a while depending on how sore etc and then they recommend you wear it for a while, with my initial injury I was in the boot for about 3 months I think... so I'm guessing it'll be about that or possibly a bit longer, who knows 🙂
Thank you ❤️
@Bee im happy you’ve found some ups 🙂 hopefully you can get back to things asap!! just curious and perfectly fine if you don’t want to say but how come you had surgery on your ankle/foot ?
I had a bad injury back in 2015 where I shattered my right foot. I had a small about of instability in the first 2 joints after... and this year I was encouraged by my physio to go back and see the surgeon as the pain never really went away and I was just living with it. New xrays showed that the instability had increased a significant amount and the surgeon said my only option was to have another operation and fuse the bones where the instability was. So he essentially pushed 4 bones together to become one 🙂
@Bee ohh thanks for telling me 🙂
it must be a hard 3 years for you 😞 im happy you got surgery on your foot, i dont want you to have to continue living with it. how's everything else - emotionally wise ?
It's been a bit of a struggle for sure, the biggest was learning to live with the changes from the injury, so while I never wore heels they were 1000% out of question as I couldn't even tiptoe on my right when standing and doing my left at the same time. And just standing for lengths of time would hurt, and then having to have reallly supportive shoes with good arch support! And the silly thing is even though I broke the left ankle it's fine, but now that foot has become so used to it I can't wear out my old pre injury left shoes which are still good because it doesn't like them. Gah! So now I have to buy expensive shoes to keep these silly feet happy now -.-
But yeah ultimately I knew that I'd end up having the fusion done at some point in my life - it was a high chance of it happening from my extended research of the injury etc. I'm just hoping that because I'm young it solves the issues and I won't be in chronic pain with it long term, but only time will tell, and if so well I can do things to help it and change things to suit the foot as I've done 🙂
Emotionally I'm up and down - there are good days and there are shocking days where EVERYTHING is a struggle, but I'm pushing through and I'm keeping in contact with my supports and I'm being honest with them, which has been helping the most - even if I do spend the entire psychologist session crying - which I'm totally fine with as I'm so comfortable with her, I'd tell her anything!
And I've been trying to bring myself into wise mind and tell myself that it is okay to be sad and down at times because it's such a bad injury and it was a major surgery, and when I remind myself of that sometimes I'm sad, but other times I can go "hey that is why I've been feeling this and that".
(Sorry that was quite long 😛 )
@scared01 How I'm going, please feel free to read my massive rant above 😄 lol it kind of sums it up... maybe...
I'm finding things to amuse myself, sometimes a bit bored but that is to be expected at times 😛
I have plenty of photos to process and finalize but it feels boring because I can't really go out and shoot very easily atm, so that has kind of put me off a little bit 😞
wow that mustve been really challamging for you, i guess if buying expensive shoes is the best thing to do then it has to be done. im glad your finding things to amuse yourself! and yes for sure, bordeom comes with the territory i think lol
