Coping with life post operation
Heya everyone,
So as some of you know I had to have an operation on my foot to fix it. That happened last week on Tuesday!During the last week I've been battling with lack of mobility - as I have a back-slab plaster cast on my lower leg which is SOO heavy! And I'm not allowed to stand on it for about 12 weeks/3 months, with regular reviews to check on how the healing is going. Along with the that I'm in a lot of physical pain - it hurts to be standing up with my right foot hanging down, so I must have it resting up which it okay, but the pain can be unbearable and make moving around so difficult and draining!
I'm on some strong pain killers but they don't dull the pain completely. So I'm seeing a GP tomorrow.
With all of this pain and lack of mobility I've had a couple nights where I've cried myself to sleep. Of these sometimes I've felt completely overwhelmed by everything and just felt like it was all totally unfair.
I've felt like such a burden on my family at times because I am limited in what I can do, but on the flip side I feel like they aren't supporting me enough... My mum does the best she can which I appreciate with her lack of energy due to her health conditions. My dad sometimes helps and it really good but then he turns around and makes a snide comment or complains - which can be really hard to cope with at times. And my brother flatly refuses to help me at all, yet he'll "joke" around about hitting/kicking/dropping the cats on my cast and cannot see why I get frustrated with him.
I am frustrated because there isn't a whole lot of room at home, as it's a small house, so using the scooter can be a challenge because of narrow walkways and not being able to do a uturn, I often have to pick up one end of the scooter to move it around to turn! And crutches are a pain, and there isn't really the space to use crutches confidently either! Ugh it's just frustrating!
Sorry for the huge rant, I wanted this to be positive and to update you all on how I'm going as I know quite a few of you are interested to hear about it all 🙂
I know that surgery is a massive crisis point and it's natural to need extra support. The hardest thing is last time I was post op, I spent the first month or more in hospital due to illness, and lots of misunderstandings. So not having the same hospitalness at home is hard - eg room to move, mobility things to make things easier everywhere, smooth floors etc.
I could try with my friend, it's just trying to find the time when she's not working and having the energy to meet up etc. I will message and see about arranging to spend time together.
Yeah usually I do, I've had a few appointments where I haven't felt the need to email her beforehand as I'm gaining confidence in speaking with her, and I will write things down I'm just cautious of going backwards with speaking with her... I might put that in the email too.
We usually do that stuff together, idk I know I just need time to talk to her alone about it, but I'm feeling like our relationship is strained badly right now 😞
Being here, listening and replying helps tbh, knowing that people care helps 🙂 ❤️
@Sunflower18 Thanks for chiming in. It an be so hard post op hey! I've usually got my leg on a stool or my knee scooter which is so much easier than crutches to get around!
I know it gets better, it's just hard to cope with at times. Especially at home, when last time I had the backslab cast and lower lag cast, I was in hospital for 90% of it, so I had all the help of the nurses 🙂
I'm developing some routines, it's a bit challenging though, I tend not to carry breakables as I'm clumsy with the knee scooter :
The struggle with my family partly comes from them having to actually help. They know how much pain I am in, dad and my brother have been crawling under the table when I'm sitting at the table so I don't have to get up - because there isn't much room, and because me getting up takes forever haha.
I'm planning on having a conversation tomorrow with mum about my brother in re to his behaviour towards me... As I'm going to the next largest town to get my stitches out and a new cast, as there is no orthos in my town
i hope you can find some other things to do to keep you occupied abit too
I got my cast changed today, and stitches out, it feels so much better, but the cast feels a bit tight around my calf, so will see how it goes 🙂
how is the pain going? has that eased at all or become abit more manageable at least?
The pain is manageable for the most part. I've had a few moments it hurts, but it's usually when I'm due for pain meds, and I'm thinking that by time I see my dr we might be able to reduce one of the pain meds slowly (as it's not one he wants me dependent on or on long term) as per his verbal plan when he prescribed them 🙂
I'm feeling more comfortable with the cast today, I think mum was right in that the cast felt so tight because I was up and scooting around a couple shops 😛
I also posted in a support group on facebook for the injury and got some tips and reassurance too, which has helped 🙂
@DruidChild it is on track, which is so good! 🙂
It'll be quite a while until I'm up walking on it again, but I'm finding it a bit easier to move around in this cast today! So I'm happy about that and I'm not as worried or stressed!
Yes I have lots of photos to process so I've got lots of distraction there 😛 and I've just had an idea for a shoot I did for a friend a few years back which I'll start today ❤️
I absolutely forgot to talk to mum re my brother, but I've just had a positive interaction with my brother, so here's hoping. *shrug* If he starts again, I can always try and show him the xray photos I have of my foot...
Thank you ❤️
im glad the pain, sting and itch have reduced now too. it can drive us crazy cant it!!
oh yes it would be pretty tricky with routines thats for sure. but you seem to be making things work to the best of your ability which is the main thing
That is awesome that there is a support group for the injury @Bee, I never would have thought of that. I am glad the new cast is feeling a bit more relaxed, I can only imagine how many times you would just want to take it off! That doesn't sound like a bad approach with showing your brother the x-rays, he might find it quite interesting and develop some empathy after having seen the injury in detail. You can only give it a shot. It sounds like you have quite a lot to distract you and keep you busy. You are doing amazing
Oh yes, it gets quite annoying at times!
Yeah, I've asked him once if he wanted to see them and he said no 😕 ugh, I have them anyway 🙂
But yeah I have lots to keep me busy 🙂 ❤️
Happy to hear you're getting some support on Facebook and that the healing is happening, even if it's slow @Bee Photography sounds like an awesome way to keep busy! How has your day been today? 🙂
The healing is coming along nicely, I'm confident that I can slowly reduce the painkiller my gp wants to fortnightly! 🙂
I got creative and started playing with some photos I did for a friend back in 2015 and brought a whole new dimension to them and she was so happy with them! 😄 I've got a few more to do still 🙂
I've been a bit out of it this weekend, Friday a tooth was a little sore and I didn't really think anything of it, but it really hurt yesterday and I went to emergency where triage nurse was rude, and funnily I got the GP I am seeing while my usual one is on maternity leave. And he gave me a script for meds to help with the pain - and they have, but today my face swelled a bit 😕 so tried to contact a dentist but no one was open or available for emergency apt. So I shall ring the public line in the morning and hopefully get in or get it sorted.
By this arvo I was a little better and managed to get out the back and hang some clothes up! Something I've been scared to do since my operation! so YAY!
Hey @Bee, it sounds like your recovery is on track with getting your stitches out 🙂 Hopefully you can be a bit more mobile soon.
I'm glad to hear that doing the photography has been a good distraction! I hope the pain doesn't flare up today and that your mum is able to talk to your brother soon.
Hugs, thinking of you
hey @Bee
this seems to be a big pain at the moment for you ! how has your day been, any better or worse ? 💞
Can I just say how incredibly resilient you are @Bee! I can't imagine how hard things must be right now with the pain and difficulty moving about, on top of managing everything at home. You are doing so well, and I want to let you know we are all here to support you through this
How are you going today?
Let us know how we can support you in the coming weeks
I know everyone is here for me, it's one of the things that is helping me mentally push through and fight the negative thoughts inside my head... but it's been incredibly hard. I've had nights where I've literally cried myself to sleep, or cried my way through a shower and getting dressed (which takes 2-3times longer than usual).
The last few days/nights have felt incredibly hard, after an incident with my brother, and I just feel as though I don't have any support and that no one really gets how hard it is for me, I feel like my mum is dismissing how hard it is for me now. I spoke to Lifeline about it the other day, and it was good to have someone listen, but it wasn't enough. I don't feel supported at home much anymore - with anything!
Today I'm feeling a bit isolated and low.
I just wish none of this ever happened 😞
@Bee It sounds like a really difficult time for you with so much pain, isolation, and a lack of support. You're being amazingly resilient to be able to reflect on these experiences and their impact on you, and to keep communicating and talking to us and your psychologist. It's wonderful that you're out of the house, however to me it sounded like you also feel a bit invalidated by people saying this without acknowledging how tough things are? Is that right? I do know that it sucks when people think you're functioning too well to need support, I've been there
It really sounds like although there are people in your life, like your mum and friends, you feel like they're not being supportive right now, or they don't understand what you're going through...that must feel lonely. You're definitely not a burden; we all go through times when we need extra support, that's human and normal. It's especially hard not to feel alone when friends are busy; how would you feel about reaching out and asking for some company/support and just seeing what their response is? I know that sometimes I make an assumption about how somebody will respond, and it actually turns out that they're much more supportive than I anticipated.
How do you feel about contacting the other person you've seen a couple of times and asking to see them?
I wonder when your next psychologist appointment is and how you think you could use the session in a more helpful way?
Some sites I thought you might enjoy or find soothing while you're immobile: emergency kitten, automatic flatterer, smiling mind, and the good news network.
More hugs and love
hugs
I'm a bit reluctant to, now that I've thought about it and that, I kind worry that the resources are better used for people who really need the help, like I can kinda do stuff, and there are 3 other mobile capable people in the house, so I kind of feel like I wouldn't actually get any help and I'd feel guilty for taking it when someone who doens't have any help could use it. If that makes sense.
I'll update as I know 🙂
