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Coping with recovery (a random reflection)

I know in the past i have talked a lot about my MH issues and a vast majority of problems, but I haven't really talked about what it means to overcome them.

So for those who don't know, I have Schizoaffective Disorder, which is a mental illness that crosses over between Schizophrenia and Bipolar. i also have PTSD, Anxiety and Bulimia. As a part of my illness i experience horrible hallucinations and sever mood swings, which at their worst have lead to self harm and suicide attempts.

I used to be so out of control, thinking aliens were manipulating my brain waves to speak to me and tell me to do things and that there would be bad consequences for the world if i didn't do them. Or that the good aliens wanted me to die so i could join them in the universe as a being of only energy. 

I'm starting to learn that that stuff is delusions and with the right medication I can handle it. And i can tell you medication does help - I haven't had a manic episode in ages and the voices and images are calming down. Therapy has also really helped me learn to recognise triggers, deal with the intense emotions that come with my MH, and to deal with my past.

I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there. 

Recovery is never lineal and it is definitely not easy, but its worth it. And recovery never stops, its a daily decision. 

It's hard and scary to admit to as well, being defined outside your mental health takes courage. But i am more than my diagnosis, i am more than my scars, more than my past. I wont let that stuff define me. Redhead is strong and he can do this. 

And i may relapse, but as long as i keep getting up its all that matters. I will fight this. 

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Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Coping with recovery (a random reflection)

@redhead <3

You are so right that recovery is never lineal and is not easy, but absolutely so worth it!

I absolutely love the line "Redhead is strong and he can do this" the best!!!

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Coping with recovery (a random reflection)

@redhead Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with RO. It sounds like you have really struggled with your mental health in the past and have had some really scary experiences although with much persistence you have found the right supports and have learnt to recognise your triggers as well as regulate your emotions, its amazing that you are able to reflect and acknowledge how far you have come.

Recovery looks different for everybody and takes a lot of courage.

Keep up the great work.

Re: Coping with recovery (a random reflection)

@redhead love this reflection immensely.  Heart 

You are incredibly strong. Your recovery journey has painful and really hard, and we are all so proud of you for coming so far Heart 
You are so much more than your diagnosis, your symptoms.. and anything else that your MH throws at you. Thank you for sharing this. 

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I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Coping with recovery (a random reflection)

@redhead I fucking love this post. If you ever doubted how much strength you possess, here's your proof Heart

"Recovery never stops, its a daily decision." My psych often tells me something similar. Thank you for reminding me of this fact Heart
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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish
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Re: Coping with recovery (a random reflection)

That's a wonderful and in-depth reflection @redhead! We are all very proud of you. You have great strength and courage!