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Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

Hopefully this is in the right thread (if not i will gladly move it), but i wanted to ask, and talk about this somehow and this is the only place i knew to go to since i couldn't find anything like this topic online either. 

 

So a few days ago I watched a movie, where the main character had a few anxiety attacks, and he acted them out so well that I got a bit of a reaction. I ended up with a minor panic/anxiety attack myself for a few minutes (had i not been watching the movie it may have lasted longer), and since then I had this feeling I call "empty" after you watch a movie or TV show you enjoyed, and you may feel like the world means nothing, you may feel a "well what now" kind of feeling, thats what I was getting.

However I usually only get that empty feeling for a day or a few hours after watching, but this feeling lasted about 3 days, so there was something different, and within the time-span of 24 hours from writing this thread I realized what it was, I was craving something. I wasn't sure at first what until I started thinking more about it, and I was craving the sink in my stomach, the mini attack that it gave me, and that has never happened before.

I ended up re-watching the movie, the feeling was strong  and wasn't going away so I just went ahead and gave into it, now writing this, after the moment that gave me the attack last time, I seem to have had another, a little stronger even, maybe due to me worrying about this craving issue. My hands are shaking as I type, im having issues breathing and taking in big sighs and my stomach is doing knots, but im not scared or upset about these feelings, im excited, like Im going through a drug high.

Is this normal? Does anyone else experience a craving for what should be a horrible feeling, i don't know what to do...what do I do about it? Ive never had this before and that's whats kind of freaking me out enough to write about it, im a little worried honestly that this won't go away, I don't want this to become some addiction.

NOTE: I know people will mention about getting a psych, and I do indeed have a psychologist, though she isn't working out so I'm working on sorting out a change, and seeing a non-working psych as long as I did has made my anxiety and depression worse the past few months, but I am going to try a new one hopefully in November, so currently I do not have some kind of psych or GP to contact at the moment regarding this matter, other then typing it here for some insight, this is all up to me.

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Re: Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

Hi @Foullily

Welcome to the RO forum Heart

There's a whole range of experiences and emotions that we can all feel as young people ..and as humans more generally..! And what you've described is something others have definitely experienced as well.

It can be really confusing to desire "negative" feelings, but it's actually pretty common. 

Especially if you're feeling like you're "empty" - the preference can be to feel something rather than nothing!  There are some major things that happen in your body when you're having a panic attack - and these things can be similar to the things that happen when you're excited and full of adrenaline

We have some info over here on panic attacks that you might find helpful to read. 

 

I'm wondering if there are any other emotions you could connect to when you are feeling empty - like being excited or happy? Sometimes music or exercise can help to stimulate the same kind of feelings in the body, without having the experience of a panic attack.  

 

Have you been able to speak to anyone else about this experience?

 

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Re: Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

thank you for the reply ^^

Maybe im just not understanding what you are referring to, or maybe i don't know what to connect to what I call empty. It usually is very harmless, just basically being 'lost' on what to do for a little while, or not feeling as fulfilled doing anything like I was while watching that movie or show. 

Since this is so recent, no i haven't talked to anyone about it either. My next Psych isn't for a while (and i can't make a quick schedule) and I don't feel comfortable talking about my issues with friends or family, so this currently is only here, and kept to myself.

Re: Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

Hi @Foullily , sorry I should have phrased that differently! I meant that when you are feeling empty, and craving the panic attack feelings, could you try to feel something else instead?

So if you watch a movie that you know will make you laugh, or listen to music you find exciting, or do some intense cardio etc - you may be able start to feel other strong feelings, without having a panic attack?

 

Really glad you were able to come online and share with us even if you haven't been able to share with anyone else.

Who else do you have in your support team? Is it a psychologist that you see? 

 

If you ever want to talk to a counsellor / other mental health professional about what you're thinking/ feeling you can access one of these service here - there provide both over the phone, and e-chat support. 

 

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Re: Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

Hello~

Ah I see, yes I did try to refocus, watch different movies or youtube, or play a game, but it wasn't working. After re-watching it the feeling has dumbed down a little, but it is still there, and I still crave it.
And yes, my psychologist is basically the only person i go to for my issues, i see them once a month, i would like to see them more often but at the moment that isn't possible.

Thank you for giving me that service link should I need it ^^ if this feeling seems to intensify i will certainly reach out further then just a simple thread.

Re: Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

@Foullily Sorry to hear those ideas aren't working - we have a lot of insights you could scroll through around self-awareness here - but specifically I think you might like this one on challenging negative thoughts . 

Ah it can be so hard to see professionals as much as we would like to hey - once a month with a psychologist is often not really enough. Do you find the sessions you do have helpful?

Do you reckon you could plan to tell about about this in your next appointment?

 

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Re: Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

Thank you for the links, i will certainly read through them when I get the chance ^^

They used to be helpful with my previous psych, but they resigned from that place and I was assigned a new one, who isn't working out so at the current moment, no, not helpful to me at all that is why I'm seeking out a change, hopefully very soon. I may tell of it in the appointment, but I am unsure yet. I do mean to write it down in my mental diary but ive been too tired to do so. If I don't mention it to this psych, it will likely come up with the next

Re: Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

Hi @Foullily thanks for reaching out to us. I'm sorry to hear you have been feeling empty and that your current psychologist isn't working out for you. It's great that you are seeking alternate options for some support. I'm wondering if you have considered contacting eHeadspace or KHS? They provide counselling support via web chat or over the phone. How are you looking after yourself during this time? We're here to listen and support you Heart

Re: Craving Anxiety/Panic? (TW?)

Apologize for the late reply @Lan-RO I was asleep ^^

I have considered Headspace if this problem continues to persist past the point I can handle, but I'm not sure who KHS is, I will give them a look. Im not really doing anything special to look out for myself either, usually if I feel upset or confused or depressed I revert to games, youtube or some other form of media to get my mind of it, though it's not really working this time which is why Im reaching out somewhere, it's a bit crushing right now ^^;