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Current Stage in Life

As of recently, I have been feeling depressed and just unwanted. I’ve mentioned in previous posts about what is going through in my life but heres a little summary: I’ve been bullied since Year 5 (which was back in 2012), my family has been separated for nearly a decade of my life but had been reignited due to recent controversy, I’ve lost two friends so far to suicide, I’ve recently came out of the closet to my family and friends and made it worse for me to please them based on that, the fact that I’ve not been able to loose weight and not get healthier, seeked professional help from 2013 onwards but not have had much success, and of recent times gotten into VCE with less time to actually focus on myself and retain my feelings of just sadness and hatred for myself and the fact my mum and stepdad think I’m over-reacting.

 

 

My father told me “You are born into the situation you are living in right now, its not easy but you can always try to make it a little better for you.” I just see that and make it a goal I can never fill. You hear of all the incidents and crime that goes on in life, I just there, siting facing the wall, waiting for something to happen but I cannot see it without moving.

 

i’ve made friends that are trying their best to support me, I rant on and on and they stop me, keep me calm. Knowing that I’m still forming as a person makes it even worse for me to look at myself, knowing the end result is just gonna be a trainwreck on organs, cells and unwanted materiels birthed and given life.

 

Just

Don’t

Know

What

To

Do

Anymore...

Re: Current Stage in Life

Hey @Jeplar so sorry to hear about what you are going through. You have done some very brave things in the process there, i.e. coming out, being honest with friends. I am sorry that you have lost friends to suicide, this is painful. Have you had support around this at school?

 

Do you see a therapist or psych at all? We are here to talk it out too.  I will tag other ReachOut members to gain their support as well.

 

Please remember there's always KidsHelpline (14-25YOs) as well for a chat. You don't have to go it alone Heart

 

@mrmusic @N1ghtW1ng @Bee @safari93 @Asche

Re: Current Stage in Life

Hi @Jeplar, thanks for your post, and I'm sorry you're feeling down tonight.

 

I can relate to so much of your post. I too have struggled with my weight, and I know that it has made me extremely conscious of my body image. I'm sorry that you feel that your relationship with your family has suffered as a result of you coming out. Your sexuality does not change you as a person, please try and remember that Heart

 

I'm really sorry you have lost friends to suicide. I can't imagine the pain that you must be going through as a result.

 

I'm a tad concerned about your last sentence referring to yourself as a "trainwreck" - these are very heavy thoughts Smiley Sad I would really encourage you to contact Kids Helpline, as @TOM-RO has mentioned.

 

In the meantime, what are you doing to look after yourself at the moment? Did the professional you saw give you some strategies you could use for self-care?

 

I'm thinking of you, please keep us updated on how you are going Heart

Re: Current Stage in Life

I have seen a therapist and psychologists before however they have been not really helpful, I have also used Kids Helpline before and I found it not too helpful.

@TOM-RO

Re: Current Stage in Life

I have been going about my life as normal, trying to stay positive. I have been given a bit of advice on trying to be happy by doing things I love and talking to friends to keep me a bit happier. Both KidsHelpline and the professionals I have seen ave given the same advice to me and have been trying to stick to it.

@mrmusic

Re: Current Stage in Life

Hello Jeplar, 

 

Depression almost always skews your thoughts onto the negative side. I'm sorry you are feeling unwanted, I know that's difficult to deal with. When you feel unwanted, try to think about all your friends and those who support you. Know that there are people who care about you very much. If that's not want then I don't know what is. 

 

Even if you haven't lost weight and gotten healthier, there is time and chances to do so in the future. No one knows the end result, of what we become. You are trying and that's all anyone can ask of you. Don't give up, keep going. There is hope.

Re: Current Stage in Life

Hi Jeplar,
How are you feeling now?

Sounds like there is lots weighing on your mind right now.
I'm sorry to hear your previous experiences with counsellors haven't been helpful for you. Smiley Sad

You mentioned that you don't know what to do anymore, was there something specific you were thinking about when you wrote this?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Current Stage in Life

I guess I’m feeling okay. @Bee

I have has those thoughts run through my head but believe its nit the right option because of the impact is has on people around me

Re: Current Stage in Life

I'm glad to hear your feeling okay @Jeplar Smiley Happy

What do you mean by the last part of your post?
"I have has those thoughts run through my head but believe its nit the right option because of the impact is has on people around me"

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart