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Decisions

I can't seem to make a decision weather to have surgery and save my life or to just sit around and wait.
I'm scared I'm going to make the wrong decision and disappoint the people that are close to me.
I can't speak to family about it because they will tell me what to do.
I feel lost and confused. I just want to dig a hole and stay there...

Re: Decisions

Hey @Talitha93

Making decisions is so hard and it is never as black and white as people think. In making decisions, you really need to keep how other people feel away from how you feel. That always clouds our decision making process.

Have you thought about sitting down and writing the pros and cons alone, with a friend or maybe a doctor so you can get all the facts before making your decision?

I dont know what surgery you are getting but do you have the time to wait and think about it or get a few opinions from professionals about it before you decide?

Here for you, take care Smiley Happy
_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Decisions

I need to have a double masectomy.
I have till the 20th of this month to decide.
I just cant seem to know what I want..
@ruenhonx

Re: Decisions

Hey @Talitha93 ,

 

I think with regards to health and physical well-being it is really important to make the right decision in making sure you are taking care of yourself. 

Surgeries can be scary and somewhat a big deal for obvious reasons. 

Is there a reason a to why you don't want to have this surgery done? 

I would suggest you look at the benefits and disadvantages of getting this surgery done vs. not getting it done.

Maybe this will help you decide what is best for you...

I can understand you do not want to disappointment those close to you, but this is completely up to you. It might not feel that way, and so, its important you remind yourself that it is your body!  and whatever decision that'll be made, you will have to live with it. So it is reall important you decide for your own happiness and contentment.

I would also suggest speaking to the doctors and understanding the procedure and once again, the benefits of taking the operation. 

Re: Decisions

Hey @sunflowers5

I thinks it's more of the fact I'm scared. It's not a minor surgey that I will be having, it's going to effect my life style and my future.

Re: Decisions

Definitely ... that makes complete sense!

I think the most important thing you need to realise is that surgery or not, your lifestyle will change. Either for the better because of success from the surgery or the complete opposite if you simply just wait. Both these decisions involve taking a chance and being hopeful... Its important that you ty your best to make sure your physcial health is at its best... and taking this surgery will be an act of trying. 

As scary as it is, I think you should come to terms with the consequences of taking the surgery and not taking it. As well as, ask yourself if you wish to be healhy? What are you willing to do to make sure you re healthy? I know you will have to adjust to new things after the operation, but all these changes will be towards helping you have a healthier and independent future.

I also think you should remind yourself that you are NOT alone... Your friends and family will be there to support you after this surgery and the surgeons that will operate on you are trained professionals. I think it might help venting and letting out all the nerves inside by talking to someone... And talking to yourself and making sure you look at the positives only! Your mindset is key in making this decision.. and I think reassurance and feeling safe will really make this decision and the surgery a lot more easier!  

Re: Decisions

@sunflowers5
I never thought of it like that. I mean the doctors told me without the surgery things will get worse but with the surgery things will change a lot.
I find it hard to adapt to change lately.
I just hate spending time in hospital and lately that's all I've been doing.
I'm trying to ignore the fact I need surgery and move on in my life. Just take it each day as it comes and try to face things but I just can't. Lately Everytime I've gone to the doctors things have just gotten worse not better.
I want to fight this alone without bringing my family into it. Seeing my mum upset just makes it more real... Is that stupid?

Re: Decisions

Sometimes all we need is a little change in perspective. And I understand where you are coming from when you say you're struggling to cope with change lately. I too, am not a fan of adapting to new things. And recently i've just been involving myself in heaps of new things and diferent environments just to allow myself to learn that change isn't a bad thing. Honestly, I can say that it really isn't. I have learnt so many new things and grown into such a better person.. (at least I see myself heaps better).. 

 

And I think it is really important you tell yourself that these changes will be for the better! For your health and for your future overall! Trust me when I say you aren't alone when it comes to hating hospitals. And I can understand why that makes you want to repel them whenever you can. And hey, maybe after this operation you won't have to go there again? I know I might sound a little bias when it comes to you getting this surgery done. But, I just want you to make the best possible decision for your health. 

Like you've said, everytime you've gone to the hospital lately, things haven't been getting better.. and maybe not taking the operation and waiting to see what happens will worsen your condition...

 

Its a great thing to take each day as it comes. But it is also important to deal with every situation that comes your way in the best way as well. So far I get the vibe that you didn't expect this to come up and you're happy with the way things are going in your life that you don't want anything to ruin that. Thats completely justified. But, everyday can't be the same... and this time and situation you are in... you need to make sure you look at your health and how you want to be in the future. Nothing has to change if you dont let it. Your health can still be perfect if you try and keep it that way. 

None of what you are saying is stupid! I can completely relate to your feelings at the moment. 
As much as you don't want your family to get involved, they love you and worry for your health. They care about you just as much as you care for yourself. And you might feel like you need to be strong for them and take the surgery to keep them happy. But you don't. All you need to do is make the decision you will be happy with! And your loved ones will be happy if you are! Take this love to motivate you and give you strength.. use it to your advantage and it will make things a lot easier! 

Also, with the changes that involve this surgery.. I would suggest you speak to doctors/friends/family and others about how you can deal with it after ? how you can adjust and keep your lifestyle the way you want too! I am sure they will support you and help you to the best of their abilities. And with regards to having the surgery done and being strong, myself and the Rechout community are here for you!

You can get through this <3

Re: Decisions

@sunflowers5 

Thankyou. 

i try and keep myself busy everyday weather it is at work or doing the things i love most e.g playing soccer but at the moment im just to sick to even run around with my 3 year old niece. and its hard becasue I want to be able to do those things as it is what takes my mind of whats going on. 

i abosuletly hate change and i dont know how to move on and get used to change. 

I try not to think about surgery becasue i know I am just going to go insane by thinking about it. 

I sat down and had a talk to my boy friend today about whats going on and he is behind me no matter what decision i make. it helps me emensly to know that nothing will change between us. Just talking to my mum and brothers will be the hard part. 

no you are not being bias at all its fine. im glad i can come on here and say how i feel without getting judge and im actually getting some great advice. Smiley Happy

i guess it is true god does have a plan for all of us and this must be his plan for me. i just dont feel strong enough to get past it and fight this horrible disease. 

 

thankyou <3

Re: Decisions

It must be so hard not being physically able to do things you love. And the fact that you are fighting everyday with courage is amazing! A pat on the back for such a strong attitude. 

Heres a link which will hopefully help you find a way to deal with change: http://au.reachout.com/dealing-with-life-changes

I know for me, I learnt by putting myself away from my comfort zone! Maybe finding a way to cope with changes will give you strength and hope to take the surgery.. 
Its great to see that you can keep your thoughts in control! And blocking it out may be helpful... but I think it is also important to come into terms with it and accept that this might be happening and also that it might be a good thing. But of course, its good that you don't let it consume all your thoughts Smiley Happy

Thats great to hear, I am sure your family will be just as supportive! 

 

If God has a plan for us all, then God also does not put us through something he knows we can't handle. You have come so far and you have such a good grip on your emotions. You are a trooper! And with a little more mental strength and planning I know you will be able to fight this disease and live life to a whole new level. For now, I think it is really important in deciding what is best for your health and your future, regardless of the consequences and changes! And most importantly, where your happiness lies! You aren't alone and you are strong enough to get through this!