@Lost_Space_Explorer5 The system definitely needs an overhaul, this was not them checking if I had taken meds though this was them forcibly giving me injections which on many occasions included a bunch of men restraining me while I was screaming at them to leave me alone. But the checking if you have taken something is also terrible and patronizing. I don’t really find helplines helpful they usually make me feel a lot worse so I try and avoid them where possible they are great for some people just I am not one of those people. The nights are just very long and idk it is hard.
Hey @Eden1717! I've just been having a little read of your thread... Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time lately. Being forced to receive depot injections must be so terrifying. Have they given you a chance to take the medication in tablet form instead, or without force and restraint?
I've never really liked helplines either. It was useful to think about why this was though. I realised that big factors were that phone calls can give me anxiety and that the kind of support I needed could only be given by someone who I could speak to regularly. Are there any health professionals you are seeing regularly at the moment? If so, what could they do or change to help you cope?
@peppermintpeony I am not still on the depot injections and it is complicated. I am seeing a private psychiatrist and psychologist and idk the psychiatrist is trying to figure some stuff out and the psychologist is complicated I just don’t feel like they get me and I know they are trying but I feel like it just isn’t clicking and idk how to explain why to them but then also I feel like maybe I won’t feel understood by any psychologist I have seen so many and only about 3 have actually understood me. I just feel like there is not much point see them anymore plus she does the same thing helplines do where they tell you to try things you have already tried a million times and then get frustrated when you say you don’t want to do that again.idkit is complicated.
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 It was very traumatic
@Janine-RO I am still feeling bad today I am tired but no amount of sleep or not will give me the kind of rest I need because that kind of rest doesn’t actually exist. I am still agitated and I just want to scream at everyone and I feel like I am about to cry but the tears never come and it isn’t sadness it is just like fed up tears like I am just completely over all of the crap. And knowing that there is nothing anyone can do and I just have to tolerate it or stop existing is exhausting and maddening in a way I cannot explain.
@Eden1717 I feel so sad to read about how painful things have been for you. Thinking about what you have been going through, I can only imagine the amount of hurt, fear and pressure you must feel building inside of you. The lack of sleep makes everything so much harder too. Sorry if you've already mentioned this but do your supports try to look at ways of helping with the sleep?
@Bre-RO they have tried but it is hard to find things that help.
I feel horrible today today I tried to do something to feel better and it just made me feel a lot worse and now I just want to cry even more. I am so tired and everything is too much and I want to scream and there is so much in my head and everything just keeps getting harder and harder. I don’t even know what to do anymore I am scared and agitated and I just I can’t even explain it properly I just dont feel ok.
Hey @Eden1717, things sound pretty bad at the moment, hey Please don't give up hope okay? I know you are fighting so much right now, and you should acknowledge that strength of yours. What's something nice you can do for yourself today? When are you next speaking to a support person about this? Do you think you could bring up your doubts about the medication and feeling misunderstood? The fact there have been people that have understood you in the past shows there is hope for you in getting help. Sometimes it just takes a long time.
I'm sorry to hear the nights are still long and you're feeling so many overwhelming things right now I hope things start to improve with the psychiatrist figuring stuff out. We're thinking of you on RO and want you to know you're not alone
What are your hobbies? Do you like reading/ watching tv/ playing video games/drawing etc?
How are your pets going? I know being with them makes you sad atm They probably miss you and sense something is wrong
@Sophia-RO Nothing is making me feel better everything just makes me upset or agitated and I just want to cry all the time.
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 I don’t think I can bring that up with the supports it is too much effort and I can’t fight with them when they aren’t hearing me to begin with. My hobbies are just making me sad everything is just making me sad.
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