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Re: “Delusions”

On the theme of taking control back, do YOU want to take the medication? I know it's certainly not what the voices want. But what do you want?

 

Can the voices physically STOP you from taking it? Sure they'll give you a really hard time over it, but it sounds like you could use the sleep 

Re: “Delusions”

Hello @Eden1717, I am sorry to hear that you had a difficult night last night. It is good to see that you received support from Lost_Space_Explorer5, I hope it was helpful to have them to chat with Heart I just want to check in with you today and ask you how you are feeling? Were you able to get any rest?

Re: “Delusions”

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  they can actually hurt me and they can stop me doing things I know no one will believe me or fully understand because everyone just thinks “oh it is just a voice, just ignore it surely it can’t physically hurt you” but they can and do hurt me and they can physically stop me doing things. They are real beings and they can make real things happen if and whenever they want too. I genuinely don’t know how to explain it in a way that others understand but they are not something I can just ignore or tell to go away. 

 

@Sophia-RO  I didn’t get much sleep again and I am still feeling really on edge and agitated and scared and everything is still too much. 

Re: “Delusions”

I believe you @Eden1717 and want to validate how you're feeling, because this is your experience of the world and a reality for you. How do you think they would hurt you? (If that's okay to ask)

Re: “Delusions”

Also, I know you feel you can't do anything at the moment to go against them, but I still would like to know what you would want to do if you had the choice? Would you want to take your medication?

Re: “Delusions”

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I don’t know because I have had such bad experiences with meds in the past that they really scare me now anyway. Like ideally I wouldn’t want to take them and I wouldn’t want to need to even have to consider taking them to begin with. I am just frustrated because I can’t seem to get control of everything and I am scared if I can’t soon I will be made to take meds which is not a good situation to be in at all. 

Re: “Delusions”

@Eden1717 I can totally relate to having terrible experiences with meds, it really sucks Smiley Sad Honestly, it can be a bit traumatic. I can also relate to being forced to take medication, it's a real violation of autonomy, hey. So it seems like it's not just the beings that don't want you to take the medication, which is interesting, what do you think?

Re: “Delusions”

I am sorry to hear that you were not able to get much sleep and that you are still feeling on edge and agitated @Eden1717. I can't imagine how difficult things must be for you right now. Are you feeling safe right now? Do you have anyone that you can talk to about the thoughts you are having?

Re: “Delusions”

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  Yeah I have been forced onto them before and it was extremely traumatic especially because the doctors who forced me to take it refused to listen to the side effects I was having and made things worse. I still have nightmares about it. I don’t know I don’t like the idea of meds of any kind really I don’t even take painkillers unless I am in really bad pain I just don’t like the idea of man made chemicals in me especially because a lot of the time we don’t know enough about the long term effects. 

 

@Sophia-RO  I am ok for now but I don’t have anyone I can talk to. It is just getting difficult to get through the nights. 

Re: “Delusions”

I can absolutely relate to that @Eden1717, the healthcare system needs to do better Smiley Sad It really sucks when you get forced to take meds and then they check if you've taken it. Especially when the medication does awful things to you. I know they have good intentions but there are still flaws in the system. I'm sorry it's made you have nightmares about it, that is so horrible Smiley Sad

Medication scares me too, honestly a lot of things we do in this world will probably turn out to be dangerous and people in the future will be like what the hell were we thinking. Some things we don't have control over and just don't know unfortunately.

I can't imagine how hard the nights are for you Smiley Sad They sound exhausting and really scary.

I hear how isolating it must be that you don't have anyone you can talk to. How do you feel about talking to a helpline or something? I know you said you feel safe talking on the forums because it's anonymous, how about something anonymous like a helpline?