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Re: “Delusions”

@Eden1717 are you comfortable saying what the three things are?

No problem if not though, sorry if it was a bad question..

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Re: “Delusions”

@Tiny_leaf  It isn’t a bad question but I can’t really say it  :/ . 

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Re: “Delusions”

@Eden1717 that's pretty understandable..

I'm sorry things are so hard Smiley Sad

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Re: “Delusions”

@Tiny_leaf  Thanks. I am just really also struggling with sleep and I haven’t been getting to bed until like 8am the last week or so and then only sleeping for 2-3 hours and everything is just weird and idk what to do like I am trying so hard to stay out of hospital and I know already that it would be a super terrible outcome if I went back there but then I keep feeling like it is going to happen anyway because I can’t make certain things stop. 

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Re: “Delusions”

That sounds super frustrating @Eden1717. If you don't mind me asking, what do you have to be careful about? You have mentioned before that there are things you can't say or do because of the beings. Do you feel like they are controlling you or helping you? Either way, it sounds like you are in a really difficult position Heart
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Re: “Delusions”

@Taylor-RO  It depends which beings some are both controlling and helping me and others are just controlling me. I have to be careful because all the people that work at the hospital are bad and they want to hurt me and they will hurt me if they are able to get the thing they want from me and if they do manage to get the thing (which I cannot say what it is here) then they will kill me. And not just kill me quickly it will be slow and painful. But also to get the thing they will hurt me and do bad things to me and it is really hard to explain but basically I cannot trust anyone at the hospital at all. And none of them are human as well no one in this world is and I feel like they are using the thing they put in my head to keep hurting me so that I will give them the thing but I can’t and they dont care that I can’t and it is really hard to explain I just feel really on edge and I don’t feel like it is safe to even think things while they are listening it is really hard to explain and yes it is a difficult situation I feel very stuck. 

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Re: “Delusions”

Hey @Eden1717 

 

That sounds really scary, it must feel like you have to be on alert all the time, which I could imagine is exhausting!. How are you feeling today? Did you manage to get some sleep?

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Re: “Delusions”

@Claire-RO  I only got a little under 4 hours of sleep. Everything is still super intense but now I am also stressed about tomorrow I don’t know if I can do what is expected of me and I don’t trust them. Everything is a lot and I am trying but it keeps getting harder to manage. 

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Re: “Delusions”

Hey @Eden1717 , 

I think sleep deprivation can definitely make everything harder to handle, do you think you can take a nap today at all? What's happening tomorrow, if you don't mind me asking? Thinking of you. 

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Check out our community activities calendar for April 2020 here
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Re: “Delusions”

@Janine-RO  I can’t nap once I am already awake. Tomorrow is supposed to be the phone appointment with the public psychiatrist who I don’t know and may never see again to “assess” what community supports I might need even though I don’t want anything to do with their shitty makes me feel worse community “supports”