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Re: “Delusions”

@JazzInMay  I don’t know but I have been waiting 3 weeks to see them and I am not sure what people expect I am trying so hard but it is like everything is meant to be impossible. Ugh I need to scream but I can’t and I just feel so unsettled I literally can’t everything is too much and I am getting really scared of everyone and everything and I am trying not to freak out but idk if I can avoid it. 

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Re: “Delusions”

@Eden1717  I can really hear your pain here and I am so sorry that both the long wait time and others' expectations are causing you such frustration. I can see you're trying really hard to hold all your anxiety and unsettled-ness together inside you and I imagine it must be exhausting. You may have touched on this before and I apologise if I am repeating a question, but does screaming into a pillow ever help soothe the need to scream? I find it does for me sometimes, which is why I ask.

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Re: “Delusions”

@JazzInMay  No it doesn’t help. I really don’t know what to do I feel like I am about to have a big panic attack and I am trying to hold it off but before I was even shaking and my head is I can’t even explain it and I am getting really scared of everything like I am getting scared all my food has been poisoned and I can still feel the device thing in me and it is really uncomfortable and I don’t know what are my thoughts anymore and what they are making me think and do and I feel like everyone is listening into my head and watching me and if I do something wrong they will hurt me and I am trying hard to distract myself but I keep getting things put in my head that are distracting me and I even feel like my pets are not themselves and are just there to watch me and I keep thinking maybe there is more than one device and I don’t know if I am even where I think I am cause they could just be making me see that and maybe I am still there and never left which is why nothing looks right and I don’t know who or what I can trust and I am tired but I can’t sleep and I am just I don’t feel right and I am sorry I keep saying sorry because it is all my fault and I didn’t mean to ruin things this way and I tried but I guess I am just really weak I feel like I am going to cry but I can’t and I don’t know I can’t explain it. 

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Re: “Delusions”

Hello @Eden1717, I am sorry to hear about what has been going on for you. It sounds like things have been difficult lately. It is a shame that you will have to talk to your psychiatrist over the phone again. Have you heard anything yet from them about when you will be able to arrange a face to face appointment?

It sounds like there is a lot going on for you tonight. What activities can you do tonight to take care of yourself? Heart
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Re: “Delusions”

@TOM-RO  No they haven’t said anything about returning to face to face no one has I don’t know when that will happen. I don’t know that is the problem the activities I have been trying haven’t been working so I really don’t know anymore. 

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Re: “Delusions”

Hi @Eden1717, it is a shame to hear that you have not heard anything about face to face appointments yet. I hope that you hear some news about it soon. That's not good to hear that the activities have not been helping. Do you have any other activities in mind that you can try tonight? Do you like to watch movies or play games to pass the time? Smiley Happy
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Re: “Delusions”

@TOM-RO  I have been watching tv and playing games all day but idk I am just not able to focus for long and I keep ending up thinking about other things. I am just I can’t even explain it.

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Re: “Delusions”

I am sorry to hear those activities have not been that helpful for you @Eden1717. Is there anything else that you can do to take care of yourself tonight?
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Re: “Delusions”

@TOM-RO  I don’t know I am trying to just watch a documentary on YouTube but it is not working well. 

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Re: “Delusions”

That is a shame that the documentary is not helpful @Eden1717. What kind of documentary are you watching? Maybe changing to a movie or tv show might help to distract you?