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Don't Know What To Do Anymore

I don't know how to deal with my anger anymore.  I was improving then I went backwards again.  I'm back in the habit of getting pissed off really easily and getting frustrated at everything, even small things that weeks ago wouldn't piss me off.  At home I seem to be okay but at school the slightest thing can make me anngry.


I just don't know what to do and nothing's working.

Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

Hey @FootyFan26, sorry to hear you're struggling with anger again. You mentioned that at school you seem to be triggered more than at home. Can you put your finger on something at school that's setting you off? School can be a really stressful environment with study, assignments and exams, as well as the social stresses too.


Maybe if you're able to identify what it is at school that's making you get so angry at other things that don't usually bother you, you might be able to find a way to avoid it or manage it.



Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

No. it's just a different environment from home and easier to express my anger because my mum isn't there to tell me off and when they get even the slightest hint I me getting annoyed my grandma starts to yell everything instead of talking, my brother usually reacts negatively to the yelling and mum (when she's home) gets annoyed because she's tired and wants to relax at the end of the day. I pretty much don't show my anger at home.


There are no 'triggers' exactly.  There are certain things I don't like which I channel my anger into more than other things but they aren't really triggers if you get me.  I think teachers have started to notice my behaviour change again but they haven't done anything about it.  There are things that  make me angry at School but I don't think that's the source of the problem.

Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

Hey @FootyFan26


Anger is something which everyone experiences, and it's normal. But, it can become hard to deal with when you can’t shake your anger and you’re in a constant bad mood (or if you express your anger in a way that hurts yourself or someone else).


There are a few different reasons why people can’t seem to process their anger in a healthy way. A lot of us have never really learned how to manage or respond to angry feelings. That means when things do happen to make us angry, we bottle our feelings up and the anger sticks with us.


When you feel angry for an extended period of time, it can have a bad impact on your emotional health. That’s because when you hold on to negative emotions like anger, it prevents you from experiencing happy feelings – all the negativity you are feeling blocks them out.


We’re hardly ever ‘just’ angry – it’s usually a reaction to feeling hurt, upset, disappointed, confused, afraid etc. Try and work out if any of these causes apply to your own anger - it may help to talk it through with a good friend or family member. Then you can work on strategies to solve the problem, or cope with what is happening.

It sounds like your anger is impacting on your day to day life - and that maybe the reasons that you are angry are particularly complicated, so it's probably a good idea to talk to your counsellor (you have one? I can't remember)



Online Community Manager

Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

Hi there,


I dont have a serious anger issue but I do have my own illness. 

I was told that I should accept that my illness will be with me for the rest of my life. Its something that goes up and down through time. I remember always feeling terrible when the problem gets worse after it was going quite good. My psych told me to accept that there will be hard times but also good times. I wonder if this idea will help you.


Also I want to add that the fact that you have come to this great place to share your thoughts. I know you are doing your best and I am a big advocate of accepting yourself when you are doing your best.


I hope this period rides out soon for you. Take care.

Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

@Sophie I've seen how people respond to angry feelings - in a violent and abusive way that's the only way I know and I've seen. I also don't have a counselor so I don't really talk to anyone but I think the school's gonna send me to a psychologist soon.

Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

@FootyFan26 what can you do to channel your anger safely. When its not dealt with it can get worse.
Doing something physical like running, boxing, smashing plates, tearing up paper can help.
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

If I had a bit more freedom I probably would go for a run but once I'm home I can't really go anywhere because it's not safe. I'm not really sure about smashing plates either.

I've never really dealt with my anger properly and I can't find the right way to do it. I'm very reluctant to go and talk to someone about it and it's still getting worse. If only I knew what to do to fix it.
I really like your ideas @redhead but I just can't do them.

I am really about ready to give up. Nothing seems to be working!

Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

Hey @FootyFan26 - I think the fact that school is setting up a psychologist is going to be a really good next step (if they are a good fit for you)...

I guess the more I think about it, the more I think that it's okay to be angry - it's normal and we can’t stop ourselves getting angry. There is lots to be angry about in this world!

BUT the thing we can control is what we do while we are angry. The way we behave while we are angry is the thing that can hurt us emotionally, socially, physically etc....

Anyway, I think it's great that you have brought this topic up and you are aware of it - that's really self-aware of you....

Online Community Manager

Re: Don't Know What To Do Anymore

Also, it's interesting that you say that you are reluctant to talk about it but you don't know what to do about it.... Talking to someone outside the situation can really help....

redheads ideas are good ones but they are only bandaid solutions in the moment... talking to someone can help you look at the causes and underlying issues which is the only real way to get a handle on this....

We're with you all the way!

Online Community Manager