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Don't feel right

Things haven't been well

 

I remember ages ago wishes my autism could be zapped away, but now I feel like even if that was gone...it wouldn't help at all.

 

I feel ashamed and embarrassed about being weird and eccentric, it doesn't feel "wonderful" when I'm getting called the R-word for the 80th time. People think I'm abandoning my "true identity" but I'm not, I'm just toning it down and not being so over-the-top

 

I feel like no one understands my feelings about it

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Re: Don't feel right

Hey @MemphisBelle, I'm really sorry people have called you that horrible word. That is messed up and not ok. How do you react when this happens, do you say anything to the person?

 

Trying to figure out who you are and feeling comfortable with your identity can be a long process, and it can be a dynamic one. How we act can vary wildly depending on the situation and the people around us, and it doesn't necessarily mean we're changing who we are as a person. I'm really quiet around people I've just met, but at home I let loose and can be as silly and goofy as I want. With some friends I'm the one who listens and gives advice, with other friends I make a lot of jokes. Personalities are complex, and that's ok!

 

I know meeting strangers isn't your favourite, but have you thought about joining an autism support group? You are definitely not the only person to have felt these challenges, and it might help to chat with others who do understand exactly what it's like and can maybe share how it worked with them. 

 

 

Re: Don't feel right

Hey @MemphisBelle, as a person who has autism myself, I can really relate to what you are saying. The first thing I would really encourage you to do is not to change your personality, just because others see you as "weird" and "eccentric" (and believe me, those two words are how others describe me all the time so I know where you're coming from) - because you are you.

 

I'm so sorry that you have been treated in this way and called nasty names. Please remember that this reflects more on them than it does on you. A lot of people do not understand autism and how it affects people who have it - however that does not make it okay to be insulting to people like you have experienced. When I read posts like this it really makes me so frustrated that there is so little awareness or advocacy for adults with autism.

 

I'm here for you and willing to talk if that helps Heart

Re: Don't feel right

@MemphisBelle how have things gone this week? While it sucks so much that you're going through all this, you're certainly not alone in your struggles as @mrmusic's post shows Heart

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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Don't feel right

@lokifish

Up and down,

 

O-week is coming up and I'm not really that pumped about it.

I don't know how I feel about "new friends", I've never had one last long.

I'm having trouble thinking a lot, the anxiety just gets to me all the time.

 

The only person I'm actually friends with and talk to regularly lives in Melbourne and our only communication is via mics on video games

 

Re: Don't feel right

@MemphisBelleit's totally fine not to feel pumped about O-Week lets be honest it can be really full on and overwhelming. But saying that it's also a great opportunity to meet new people even it's only just acquaintances, which can sometimes turn into friendships Smiley Happy Maybe you could find a club about video games to join? 

Friendships do take work and it's totally ok if you struggle with the new friend stage. Maybe you could let them know that you find making friendships hard and if they could help you through it, you would be really appreciative of it. Have you talked to a psych (or someone else) about how you struggle with making friends, I'm sure they would have some helpful tips?

You sound like an awesome person and anyone would be lucky to call you their friend Smiley Happy 

When my anxiety is really bad I just focus on one thing at a time and not over think it. I also use this awesome app and this app also looks helpful for anxiety. 

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Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!

Re: Don't feel right

O-Week event today, thought I'd risk it

 

I went to the meet and greet, lasted 30 mins and then they were like "Now we're going round the room and I want each of you to say some interesting things about yourself"..... Then I got frightened and left, I shouldn't have done it

 

I'm really not looking forward to the next day

Re: Don't feel right

@MemphisBelle that sounds really hard, it's okay to get anxious I would be nervous in that environment too. Why are you worried about tomorrow?

Re: Don't feel right

@Bree-RO

 

There may or may not be an compulsory event on

 

I get that a lot of what I'll be doing is group based, but other than that...I do NOT want to draw attention to myself in any way shape or form

Re: Don't feel right

Hey @MemphisBelle,

It is hard to live with Autism, I have 2 friends of mine (both are similarly positioned on the Autism spectrum) and deal with many insults, at least once a day. I have to been there, stopping it from becoming a fight. You just have to ignore them and live life like you want. You can be whoever you want even though you may not be perfect. Selective hearing within any situation is one way I always tell my friends