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Re: Don't feel right

This week has been a disaster


Was going to meet the lecture, but I fucked up....thought I had more time than I did and I missed my bus and the meeting....cleared it up with him later but still...


The second one....oh boy...this was so wrong of me and I admit it was wrong in so many ways..

So one of the older students has a friend who's in the same course as me, apparently this person to suffers from anxiety and stuff like that. She asked if her friend could connect with me and all that stuff and I said no......I was to nervous, to scared to talk to or even interact with anyone. "You can do better than me for that advice"


It's to late to do anything now, I presume he's found a group but still......I feel so bad for it...I know it was a horrid thing....but I didn't know what to do


Re: Don't feel right

Hey @MemphisBelle - that does sound like a really tough week - but kudos to you for getting through some pretty uncomfortable situations.


It was great to hear that you cleared up the situation with your lecturer - even having that conversation is pretty amazing - and it sounds like you explained the situation to him so that is really positive.


As for the situation with the introduction made by the older person in your lecture, what is it about that situation that is making you feel so down at the moment?  Do you feel like you have missed an opportunity to be in that person's group, or do you feel like you have let someone down?  Maybe asking those questions will help you to focus on what it is that is making you feel so down about this situation?




Re: Don't feel right



I feel like kinda a jerk, a hand was reached out to me...but I cowered away



Re: Don't feel right

Hmm...I can hear that you feel really bad about not being able to help your coursemate/friend's friend, and it can definitely suck to have to turn people down when they're reaching out for help.


I think it's great that you're being so empathic, but I also think it's really important to keep your own mental health in mind when you consider helping other people. It's really hard to be patient and empathic when your own nerves are frayed and shot to bits, and in that state it's really hard to be helpful, since you can come off sounding cranky and bitter, even if you're going at it with the best intentions. 


It sucks that you weren't able to help your coursemate out in the case, but at the end of the day, your first responsibilities are to yourself. Which can be tough to keep in mind, since it can actually be easier to care about others more than we do about ourselves; we know far too much about ourselves to be overly hopeful, whereas other people are still unknown. Having to turn away from that sucks...but I do think it's necessary. If only because you're unlikely to be that helpful if you've got a lot a lot on your own plate already.