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Eating Issues Returning.

So grade 7 was when I first developed eating issues like anorexia and bulimia. At first it was just a desire to be thin and then I started taking drastic measures to assist in weight loss. During grade eight I had depression and I was self harming as well as the eating issues listed above.

My friends convinced me to speak to the school counsellor which I did. After that, things got worse and I start becoming suicidal which is when my parents found out and I was referred to headspace.

After a few months of talking to psychologist I thought I was fully recovered and I stopped seeing a psychologist altogether. Now I'm in grade 10 and I've noticed that my eating issues are starting to come back again. I feel that I'm really really fat and I've started to fall into those bad habits again. I tried talking to a counsellor online a couple of days ago and I've tried multiple times; but I can't get my regular counsellor and the counselling service wont allow me to speak to anyone else.

This is making me feel extremely lost and I don't know to do any more. At times this week I've been feeling suicidal because I feel like not even the counselling service even care any more so I don't know what to do.

Sorry for the super long post I feel really bad, this post has gone on forever but that's what's happening in my life.

Pillow

Re: Eating Issues Returning.

Welcome back @Pillow - glad to see you but sorry to hear your eating issues are returning.

Which counselling service did you try to speak to? There are a couple of online chats you can try with Kids Helpline and eHeadspace. You can also speak over the phone to an ED counsellor from the Butterfly Foundation but the line does close quite early, at 9pm. You can chat to you school counsellor as well.

Re: Eating Issues Returning.

Hey @Pillow 

 

As we are growing up and going through high school there can be a lot of pressures that affect us mentally and physically, so it's great that you are able to notice when this pressure is getting too much and that you have come to seek support. You must be a pretty self aware person!

 

I think @ElleBelle has provided a great suggestion of speaking to someone at the Butterly Foundation. They are the experts at anything to do with eating issues or eating disorders. Speaking to Suicide Call Back Service when you are feeling suicidal might also be helpful. You can speak to them online 24 hours a day.

 

I want you to try and remember that you are strong. You have obviously struggled with these issues for a long time, but you have also worked hard to improve your eating behaviours and experienced what it might be like to recover. You can do it again. Why don't you write a list of good things about your body, and a list of positive things you can do to make yourself feel better when you are down? Like going for a walk, coloring your hair, going to the movies etc Woman Happy

lanejane

Re: Eating Issues Returning.

hey @Pillow  , I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through a tough period at the moment.  It's so good that you are aware and can recognize when something is not ok, and that you want to get onto it quickly.  @lanejane  and @ElleBelle  both have given really good advice and links, especially with the butterfly foundation and suicide call back service.

 

Do you have any idea why your old habits have started to creep back in? Has anything changed recently?

 

Even though these problems can sometimes feel insurmountable and overwhelming, I want you to know that you really can get better. How do you usually deal with these thoughts? Next time you feel yourself negatively assessing your body, remember that it's just the eating disorders talking and not really you! Keep challenging those feelings and build a habit of doing so.  You seem like a really genuine, modest and courageous person, and your size and weight have absolutely no bearing on who you are!

 

Keep writing in and let us know how you're going, you seem like you've got some really good stuff to contribute

Re: Eating Issues Returning.

Hey Pillow, it's really impressive that you've made it back to us and reaching out for help now that you need it.

There is lots of things working your favour here that might reassure you somewhat.
- You've got your experience from year 7 to draw from, think back to help that you got from headspace: what worked, what didn't work, what were the things that aided your recovery and how can you get those things happening now?
- You've come back here to ReachOut.com, we are here to listen and support you to find the help that you need and that works.
- You are resilient: when things don't work out you get back up and try again: for example you tried multiple times to connect with a counselor this week. Keep going until you get the help you need/deserve. Butterfly Foundation helpline is also a good option.
- There is lots of other help out there (it can just be hard to find it sometime). We want you to keep on chatting to us here and you could also check the recovery forums over at eatingdisorders.org.au, check them out http://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/online-services

Let us know how it goes

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Eating Issues Returning.

Hey @Pillow 

Sorry to hear that your eating issues are returning. It's definitely a positive that you seem to know your body and are obviously looking out for it since you came onto ReachOut!

@tsnyder made a really good point about considering what factors are causing these eating issues to return. Have you been dealing with stress at school or home? Tackling these issues first may boost your self-esteem and happiness levels.

Also, have other people made comments about your weight that upset you?

Your parents and friends seem supportive since they have referred you to counsellors and headspace before. It is likely to help if you discuss your worries with your parents so they can help you through this time. Smiley Happy

Re: Eating Issues Returning.

Hey @Pillow , welcome back to Reachout (even though I wish it were under better circumstances for you).  It must be really tough and frustrating to feel like you've gone backwards on your progress of recovering from your eating disorder, but please keep in mind that you were strong enough to reach a point of recovery once before so I have every confidence that you can do it again.

 

Recovery from eating issues isn't necessarily a straightforward process and its so common to have a few bumps in the road, so don't be too hard on yourself. This doesn't mean you're back where you started, it just means you're still on your journey to be ED free (which is totally ok). 

 

You've been linked to a lot of great resources already in this thread so I really encourage you to have a look at them. Especially consider the suicide callback service or calling 000 if your suicidal feelings a persisting. 

 

I just want you to know that while you're feeling lost you don't have to go through it alone. We all support you and want to see you happy and healthy and we're always here to talk if you need us. Your perseverance through this is amazing and I know you can get to a good place again. 

 

Good luck on your journey Smiley Happy

(P.s. you don't have to apologise for a long post, we're happy to read it!)

Re: Eating Issues Returning.

Hey @Pillow welcome back to RO.

I'm sorry to hear your eating issues have returned. I'm just here to say that you are strong, you've fought it before which has given you a lot of experience, believe you can recover again. Stay strong.
_________________________________
sometimes it rains, sometimes it shines, this is how flowers grow

Re: Eating Issues Returning.

Hey @Pillow,

Everyone else has already given good advice, I just wanted to say it is good to see you. Smiley Happy

 

blithe