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Eating issues (possible TW)

i have a lot of eating issues and i am really struggling right now. they are literally keeping me awake until 6-7am each night or should i say morning because i am thinking about food and ways to avoid it. and i have been trying not to eat a lot lately too and i am exercising a lot and everything is a mess i feel like i dont have any control anymore and i am nearly constantly crying because i cant deal with what is going on. i have also been trying to make myself throw up a lot. i just dont know what to do. i mean i am fat and i do need to loose weight so maybe i should just suck it up and stop being so weak but i just dont know what to do because it is literally taking everything i have to not start binge eating again and i just dont know what to do i feel so lost. 

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

never mind i guess it doesnt matter anyway. 

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

Hey @Eden1717,
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. Have you been able to talk to anyone about how you're feeling?

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

nope i have no one to talk to 

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

Hey @Eden1717, you can talk to us Smiley Happy We are here to listen. Have you ever spoken to a professional around the way you feel about your self-image? It's horrible when we feel like this about ourselves huh..

I am sorry to hear you've been throwing up too. Why do you feel you have to do this/feel this way? Has someone said something to you? Here for you.

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

@Bree-RO I have kind of spoken to someone like i have talked about it once of twice with my psychologist and he keeps using the term "eating disorder" and then the other day I spoke to a psychiatrist about it for the first time and they said they were going to talk to the local eating disorders service about me and see what they thought. but i really dont think i have an eating disorder i feel like 1. i am too fat to have one and 2. i am just lazy and need to have more self control. like i know i have issues with binging and stuff but i dont think i could have an eating disorder like i am just way too fat. i just feel like no one truly understands and i am trying so hard to get thin i just feel like everything is too much and i dont know what to do anymore. ugh i am a mess and it is all my fault. i am just a hopeless case everything hurts so much and i just i cant.  

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

Hmm it sounds like you're super hard on yourself, but I can imagine it's quite a struggle. Do you feel pressure from society and friends? Would you consider at least chatting to an ED organisation? There's a few people on here with ED's I am hoping they'll spot the thread and be able to give you some insight, there is this website too.

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

@Bree-RO I dont know maybe i just dont feel like i am bad enough to have an ED like maybe i am just faking it because i am fat like actually and i do need to lose weight like a lot of weight and i dont know i just feel like i am just a lazy and horrible person. I dont know what to do. but it is honestly getting to the point where if i cant get thin or at least see big improvements then i dont think i can go on. 

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

Smiley Sad sounds really hard, just need to check what do you mean when you say you don't think you can go on?

Has someone said something to you about your weight, or is this kind of more internal stuff? Thinking of you right now. @Eden1717 Heart

Re: Eating issues (possible TW)

@Bree-RO this is both internal and external. i mean i dont think i can keep living anymore if this doesnt start to get better soon and by that i mean if i dont lose the weight soon.