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Re: Emotionless

That all sounds like a lot to be dealing with (but it all makes sense @RandomName). It's clear you are still feeling quite down.

I know you said that a doctor is quite far away and that you would have to involve your mum etc. but is there maybe a school counsellor you could talk to about your feelings?

I think you will feel a sense of relief if you can manage to speak up about all this (like you're doing on here which is great), but also find some extra support.

 

I'm concerned when you say you are constantly wanting to hurt yourself and are having thoughts of ending your life. Are you safe at the moment?

 

 

Re: Emotionless

It's important that if you do feel at risk, you reach out to someone like Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, SCBS on 1300 659 467 or lifeline on 13 11 14. (They also have online webchats if that's better suited).

Re: Emotionless

@Alison5 sorry for the late reply.

Gunna be honest I guess and say no, I don't think I'm safe. Constant thoughts of harming myself again and just ending everything are creeping up around every corner and after every sleep. I've really thought about this for the last few days and can't seem to get my head around why I'm like this. My girlfriend came down to where I live on Thursday and we laid down in the park near the train station and just talked and hugged and cried and that was probably the happiest I've been for so long now.

I considered calling KHL & SCBS but I've talked with them before and theres only so much they can do themselves over the phone. I don't think I'm going to see anyone about this in person. I don't even talk about it with my best friend. tbh music is my only way of coping at the moment until the self-harm feelings overcome it and I go right back to that instead.

The more I think about ending my own life the more I shake and cry over it because I'm almost certain it'll come a day too soon.

Re: Emotionless

Hi @RandomName I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time. I'm glad that you felt so happy while spending time with your girlfriend. Do you think calling her or contacting her on Facebook etc. could be an option when you're feeling this low?

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Emotionless

Hey @RandomName

 

It sounds like you're in a dark place. How do you feel this morning?

It's really important that you get help if you don't feel safe.

Can you do that?

Re: Emotionless

Hey @RandomName, I can hear that things are really tough right now and you often feel like harming yourself. I urge you to seek support. I know you said you don't think you would see anyone face to face, but perhaps you can call the ambulance and they could come and get you? You can even go to your local Emergency Department and they can get you support. I understand this may be scary and sometimes not what you want, but it is very important to get the help you need. If these feelings of harming yourself persist (which it sounds like they are), please consider seeing a regular counsellor. They are so helpful and it's great to just get things off your chest. What do you think?
Everyone here on RO wants you to be safe and well.

Re: Emotionless

Hey @RandomName, I'm really sorry that things aren't great for you. I want to say that crying and shaking in regards to thoughts of suicide is probably quite normal (I've done it quite a lot). I want to say that going to the local emergency department is something that can be really helpful like @Alison5 said. The people there can refer you onto ongoing support, that way people can check in with you, and have face to face appointments. And if it's needed something like the CAT (crisis assessment and treatment) team can come to your place to check in with you. It's how I started getting help and it is something you should really consider if the thoughts of ending your life are overwhelming.