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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 , it's nice to hear from you Smiley Happy I'm doing okay thanks, have been enjoying doing some work outside in the sunshine today!

 

Shame and embarrassment can be SO powerful hey, I know I've had times in the past where I just haven't been able to get those words out. It's really good that you were able to spend some time safety planning though, do you think it's given you some strategies that will help when things aren't so good? The fact that you're able to open up as much as you do here and give so much amazing support to other people, even when you're having a shit time yourself, shows a lot of strength. 

 

That's really good news about the volunteer job! I did many, many cash handling jobs when I was at uni, it can be a bit intimidating at first hey! I hardly ever use cash these days, tap and go is just way too easy lol

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Check out our community activities calendar for August 2020 here
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I am sorry the session with the psychologist was difficult, the volunteer work sounds fun though. 

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

Ooh working in the sunlight sounds nice @Janine-RO! Well I guess the safety planning just got me to promise to try and stay alive for the next 2 weeks and to reach out if I needed help. Also I'm meant to generate some 'loving kindness', do some journaling, and be mindful! Haha yeah I feel like I overshare on here sometimes Smiley Tongue But it always seems cool to me when builders and mods share stuff while supporting others. It really normalises the fact that everyone struggles and you can support others while being supported?

Haha it was so intimidating. The first girl I served was staring at me while I fumbled over the machine and tried to push the stuff she bought under the plastic screen thing and it didn't go through and I almost knocked it over Smiley LOL

Thanks @Eden1717 Smiley Happy It was fun!
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 It sounds like that even though you felt like you hadn't done 'enough' with your psych because you didn't open up, you guys actually achieved a lot in the session! And like @Janine-RO, sometimes we just can't get the words out and it doesn't make us a bad person or mean we've done something wrong, feelings of embarrassment and shame can be so overwhelming, the fact that you've been able to share all this with us and also reflect upon what's happened already shows a huge amount of progress on your part.

 

Those strategies you mentioned about 'loving kindness', journaling, and mindfulness sound interesting; I think you're definitely deserving of some loving kindness for sure!  How do you think you might go about doing those things? Smiley Happy

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

Haha thanks @TOM-RO. In RO-DBT we normally do 'loving kindness' targeted at other people/animals because being compassionate to ourselves is 'too hard' but eventually we're meant to get there! But like basically generating warm feelings for people/animals we care about and wishing them well. I guess I'll try to journal but sometimes I just get sick of my own stream of consciousness lol. Mindfulness is good I guess just remembering to do it even if it's for a minute!
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  Oh that sounds really nice! There are definitely worse things we can do than spending some time think of warm and fuzzy memories of the people and animals we love, haha. 

 

I guess what's good about having multiple strategies is that if we get sick of doing one thing, then we can try another Smiley Wink And I definitely agree with what you said about mindfulness - it's such a hard thing to do, I think that if we're able to stay mindful even for just a second, then that's a huge achievement Smiley Very Happy

 

One suggestion I've heard about practicing mindfulness is trying to stay mindful when brushing your teeth - since it's something you have to do it every day, it's basically an easy way to keep mindfulness in your routine without too much effort. I've found that it's helped me before, though there have definitely been times when I've gotten distracted when brushing my teeth, too!

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

haha very true @TOM-RO- yeah incorporating it into a daily task might help!

Guys I have an ingenious plan of how I could tell my psych what's up. I will need to write down the thing and then hide or do something distracting while she reads it and then when she's done shred the paper and continue on talking like nothing happened, avoiding the topic completely. That would be the only way I could do it
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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  Definitely keep us updated on how you are going with those strategies!

 

I think it's great that you are brainstorming plans about how to talk to your psych, and that's definitely one way to do it. Sometimes, even just the act of writing things down can make it easier for us to try and open up about what's been going on. 

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

How are you feeling today @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ? I hope things are starting to get a little easier rather than going in the other direction 🙃 I think writing everything down for your psych is awesome! That's always my go to lol Not very good on the old verbal communication! I'm not so sure she'll let you avoid the topic completely, I know mine never does but sometimes she accepts I just want her to know right then and there and then we talk about it in a later session when she feels it might be easier or I bring it up? Or sometimes she might write me a response back. 

 

Have you had a go at writing it all out yet?

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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

It's kind of going in the other direction @MB95... Smiley Sad Things haven't felt this bad in a while... I will try to write stuff down during my appointment cause I've never been able to show her stuff I've written. I'm sick of listening to my thoughts so I really don't want to see them written down.

How are you going @MB95? Keen to hear an update on how things have been going if you're able and want to share Heart