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Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5, I totally know what you mean about cats tolerating hugs. I just got a new kitty recently and she isn't really a fan of being picked up or hugged but she is so damn cute, sometimes it is hard to resist.

We are all glad to hear that you are feeling okay now.. though it sucks that you were feeling crap in the first place. It is understandable that pain may have brought on that kind of mood for you. What do you have planned for the Easter weekend?

Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

Don't be sorry for a second @Lost_Space_Explorer5. i would much rather you focus on yourself and remaining safe and doing what you need to do to get through the days ❤ I'm relieved to hear you're feeling okay, and that you are safe. That was just my main concern. I can totally relate to the email regret lol If it helps at all, I am literally in the same sort of position atm. Sent a very similar email to my psych at the beginning of the week and now that my emotions have calmed down a little about it all I'm realising maybe it was a stupid idea to send. But whatever. Sometimes we do dumb shit and I kinda love that you do it too cause it kinda makes me feel a little more human? Or are we just sad messed up non-human beings? Lol Idk. I just love how alike we are and that whenever you post something I'm literally like HOLEY SHIT. SHE GETS ME. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DO. 

 

I completely understand feeling wobbly still. Please be kind to yourself though because you deserve it! Have you got anything much planned for the weekend? I'm sending you strength and sloth cuddles ❤ Actually I saw this sloth video pop up on my FB feed yesterday and I instantly thought of you!! Went to tag you and all and then realised I obviously can't and then got a little sad cause I realised one of the people I see as a close friend is literally someone through a screen I'm never going to get to meet and then I got sad cause I have to leave soon and then I was just a ball of sadness. Lol. Life is wonderful. *cue the sarcasm*

Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

It’s so nice to see the supportive relationship that you and @Lost_Space_Explorer5 have @MB95 Heart. I am sorry to hear that you felt sad last night. That must have been pretty difficult to sit with. I hope you are feeling better today. Do you have anything fun planned for this weekend?

Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  how are you going today?

Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

Thanks guys Smiley Happy
@MB95 I think of sending you guys sloths every time I see anything with sloths on them Smiley LOL

@Eden1717 I'm going okay, mostly, how are you?

I just talked to my counsellor and it was a shorter session than usual and typical me I did that thing where I say I'm okay but I'm not and then cried after the call thinking everyone hates me and wants me dead yada yada the usual bs my mind comes up with Smiley Sad

Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

Aww @Lost_Space_Explorer5, my little mini me. You break my heart sometimes. I wish you were different to me and not cursed with the bs mind we have been 😂

 

Why do you think you said you were okay when you weren't today? Like is there maybe something you really wanted to talk about but didn't know how? Or something you didn't want to talk about and were scared she might bring it up or work it out? I often find if I'm really not okay I will try and hide it so hard while also secretly hoping my psych can read my mind and bring it up but then also hoping she doesn't because eww yuck, that's emotions and I don't do well with emotions and being vulnerable. That shit is SCARY! But then if she doesn't notice or bring it up then I get really angry at myself later because I didn't tell her and she didn't notice which means she mustn't care about me and then I cry and hate myself and convince myself she wants me to die and that I should die and then well let's not go there. I'm just trying to show you're not alone and I really hope you're okay because I understand how yuck it is to be in that place. 

 

Was there a reason it was a shorter session? Cause I know that can often make it worse for me and am wondering if it's possibly the same for you? You know, seems we virtually share the same brain! 

 

Also, just wondering, but are you seeing a psych face-to-face at all atm? Or is it just your counsellor on KHL? You don't have to share obviously, but I'm just wondering what supports you have in place atm? Cause I know a bit was changing and am wondering if a face-to-face session might make it a little harder to hide it all and pretend? 

 

I want to let you know that I sure as heck do NOT want you dead. I would NEVER want that. EVER. So don't listen to that bullshit thought!! We all absolutely adore you on here @Lost_Space_Explorer5. You have the biggest heart and greatest dark humour I know and you're my baby sloth and no one wants a dead baby sloth. And if they do, they have serious issues and need serious help, asap! And now I'm rambling because I'm tired as heck. Sorry. Point is. We all think so much of you on here so you tell that thought (what was the name for them again? I can't remember.. for some reason I have Daryl in my head but I know that is totally not what it was 😂.. but also cool with calling him Daryl the Dumbass if you are? Lol) that he is wrong and you have no time for his nonsense tonight!! 

 

I really hope you're okay @Lost_Space_Explorer5. And I hope you're asleep atm cause this is a silly time to be awake. But I hope you were able to be kind to yourself tonight, and that tomorrow you can do something nice for yourself to remind yourself of your worth! I'm happy to brainstorm some ideas with you tomorrow if you like. Just know that you ARE worthy and we all really really reallllyyyyy care about you here!!! Like A LOT. Okay I will shut up now. Sorry for the rant. I just hate you're having such shitty thoughts. Are you feeling safe? Please be kind to yourself 💙

Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

It's good that you were able to realise that your mind was talking smack to you @Lost_Space_Explorer5.  I hope you're feeling a little better today Heart

Re: It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 2)

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  sorry you had a hard session it is always difficult when we dont feel like we can say what is truly on our minds. how are you doing today?