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Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

I don't know if something's wrong with my brain or my reaction is justified. I study medicine and live far away from home and I feel so lonely. I can't stand being at home either. I feel let down by everyone. I just feel like I've done everything right and I tried my best to be a good human but it's been so long since I've been happy. It's like nice things are happening to everyone but me and it's starting to make me feel bitter, which is worse because what does that say about me? I don't have anyone to talk to. That's the worst. I don't have many friends, not ones I want to talk to, anyway. And I'd give anything to just talk. But there's no one. I think I've cried almost everyday in the past few weeks. It's been like this since about 4 years now. Well, last year was good because I had the best boyfriend I could hope for. But now it's just me and I don't know what to do anymore. I study, I watch shows, I read novels, listen to music, even started learning Spanish but I just need this to stop. I didn't do anything to deserve to feel this way for so long. It's like I'm invisible to everyone. Everyone has their own life and no one cares. I just want to be happy. It's been so long. If this is how it's going to be, I can't imagine having to live even up to 40. Life feels like punishment.

Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

Hi @dremo and welcome to ReachOut!

 

It takes so much courage to come online to talk about how you have been feeling, and we are really grateful that you have been open with us here. This community is one that can really relate to how you are feeling right now Heart

 

It sounds like these feelings of loneliness and sadness have been going on for a while now, is this right? These are some really big feelings you are experiencing right now and I can hear that they are really painful Heart 

 

You mentioned feeling like there is no one to talk to, but that this might be something you are wanting to do. Have you been able to talk about how you feel with anyone before?

 

I can hear you have been feeling really isolated- this is something so many young people here can relate to Heart We are here for you when you need to chat to someone or if you want someone to lend an ear Heart We are here for you

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Check out our community activities calendar for July 2019 here

Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

I'm also going to tag a few people here who may be able to offer their support too Heart @annabethxchase @ecla34 @scared01 @Puppies026 @RevzZ @May_ @JanaG 

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Check out our community activities calendar for July 2019 here

Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

hello and welcome @dremo
things are sounding pretty tough and lonley for you. Hugs for those feelings. @Jess1-RO has made a lovely welcome post and has asked some questions. I dont have much to add to what she has said but i wanted to welcome you and to await for you to post further.

You have meantioned quite a few things youve been doing though and i wonder if you would be willing to join in with some groups? Books clubs, Language classes, music lessons or groups and study groups may be a good place to start. The local library and community centres would have some information on these things as well as your uni/tafe that you study through (even if its online). This may be a good place to make friends and connections or at the very least be able to interact with other people.


could you try to reconnect with some family members? being so far away i cn imagine would be really tricky and isolating in itself, perhaps trying to organise a few days closer to your family would be helpful while uni i on break?
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

It's very kind of you to say. Thank you very much Smiley Happy 

Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

Thank you, again Smiley Happy

Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

No one here has interests similar to mine. No one reads anything outside of the curriculum. Music preferences....everything is different. I tried to gel with them but I couldn't. I don't blame them but I don't blame myself either. It's just how it is. But when I see my friends from home having a good time, it makes me jealous sometimes because I missed out on a lot. But its okay I guess. I wouldn't want anything less than the best for my friends. I just wish I could have it too, sometimes. I try to keep myself busy but you know, nothing can replace human contact and good conversations. I just crave that sometimes, I guess. Thank you very much for listening and responding. I genuinely appreciate it Smiley Happy

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Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

I used to deal with it alright by myself earlier. It's just gotten way harder these days. But I'll be fine. I'll make it, someday. I just needed a few kind words, I guess. Thank you for your kindness. It just helped to be heard for once Smiley Happy 

Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

Hey there @dremo,

 

It can be really difficult to make friends with other people, especially when your interests are different. Are there any places around you, such as clubs like @scared01 mentioned or other groups that you could try out? 

 

Sometimes things that we've handled easily in the past can become more difficult, and that's okay. Although things are difficult, it sounds like you have an idea of what you can do for yourself and that's wonderful. You mentioned that you can't stand being at home, is contacting your family something that would be possible? Such as meeting up at a coffee shop or just chatting over the phone. 

 

I'm glad that posting here has helped Smiley Happy Sometimes having someone listen can be so helpful when we're having a tough time. I hope you're having a good day today Smiley Happy


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I am finishing with ReachOut this week, say good-bye here. I'll miss you all!

Re: Everyone tells you it gets better but they never tell you when

Hi @dremo
Thank you for sharing your feelings, I think that a lot of people can relate to how you feel.
It sounds like you have a lot of amazing hobbies and interests, that makes you such an interesting person!
And studying medicine, that's super impressive it sounds like you're really smart Smiley Happy
I'm really glad that RO and these posts have been helping, please know you're not alone Heart