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Everything Mild

Hey people,

 

I am an outgoing extrovert, and I love being around people. But I have a couple of problems, and the 'problem' is they are all so mild that I feel like going to a doctor or counselor is a bit overkill. So I'll share them here.

 

1. I do have phases of being depressed and not. Usually when I am around people I am good, when I am alone I feel down. But they can change in an instant, like if someone comes over I'm totally fine again. Is that like super mild Bipolar? (But I feel like that's an insult to anyone who has real Bipolar...)

 

2. I keep memories of 'awkward' situations I have been in, that I have caused. I replay them over and over in my head, which really gets me down. Some of them are so stupid (most of them are) but since I think of them so much they make a barrier between me and my friends, as I have this experience in my head that they have long forgotten about, but I just can't get over it! 

 

3. I have these spurts of self anger (usually while I'm studying at home) and I tense my chest and neck muscles to let out the anger. This doesn't have much damage now, but I'm sure if I keep doing it it's bad.

 

So there is me with my three small problems. Yay!

 

P.S. I also talk to myself, and can very easily pass off any complications in life with just a "get over it, you're fine" to myself. 

 

 

Re: Everything Mild

Hey treebytheriver - welcome to ReachOut!

 

Great username btw! It conjures up some really nice calming images for me. Smiley Happy

 

Reading through your post, I felt I could relate quite a bit. I'm also an outgoing extrovert who feels more comfortable being around people than being alone. I also found myself relating a lot to points 1 and 2.

 

First off, it's not really possible to tell you whether you do or don't have a particular condition based on what you say here. You can only get a proper idea of such things by visiting a doctor and/or psychiatrist; anything else would only be guesses which can do more harm than good.

Instead of focusing on whether something is or isn't part of a particular condition, it might be better to look at some ways that you can manage them before you decide whether you should get a proper diagnosis.

 

 

1. I have felt like this, too. For me, personally, having friends around me meant I could avoid important issues that I should be addressing. I eventually realised I had to figure out how to be happy on my own and appreciate my own company. My own issues related to motivation, independence and getting a better sense of who I am. When you're feeling like this while you're alone, try to practice some mindfulness to help you develop an awareness of what's causing it. This helped me a lot.

 

2. I used to do this a lot. I would remember every bad thing I ever did and would feel a wave of shame wash over me. It's something I'm still coping with but time and perspective have helped a lot with that. Also, I never do anything anymore that I would consider bad or shameful. Smiley Wink But that's only my experience; yours might be different. In any case, it's important to challenge that negative thinking, by applying a reality test to what you're thinking and putting things into perspective.

 

3. This is the one I can't relate to myself but I've heard others talk about their experiences with this. Do you find yourself quite frustrated during these experiences? There are all kinds of reasons why you might get angry but sometimes it' s just about building better coping skills so you can manage those feelings.

 

 

It sounds to me like you're pretty self-aware, which is great, so maybe it's just about managing some of those feelings before they feel like they're going to overwhelm you. What do you think?

 

 

 

Re: Everything Mild

Thanks Lex for your reply!

 

I like my username too. It is actually what my real name means. (But quite long, so you can call me Tree for short )

 

The point format seems to work really well, so let's continue that Smiley Happy

 

Just replying to your first bit, that's a good way of putting it. I guess it doesn't matter if it is or isn't part of a proper "condition" because if it is a negative mental state I should be trying to fix it anyway. 

 

1. You are totally right about this one. Being alone does make me think about the state of my friendships, (Which I sometimes feel are shallow), the state of my life, and my future. They aren't that negative, but i guess there is a lot of worrying involved, which gets me down. I'll check out those links and I'm sure they'll help me out!

 

2. Most of my "shameful" things are really nothing. Like a minor faux pas. Example, a workmate (who i didn't really know then) shared some of his food, and I took his chopsticks and was about to eat using them and he was like "use your own cutlery". Like seriously basic, stupid stuff. Even in a sense of comical. But as I said it gets bigger and bigger in my mind as I go over and over it.  Your advice again is helpful though. I've found if I consider that friend and look at their qualities, I can see that they 'forgive' me for my mistakes, and I just remind myself that they are my friends, and that means we get over barriers between us.

 

3. I do feel frustrated, but again for stupid stuff, like if I can't think of the right word to use during an essay or am stuck in writing creative writing. I guess I need to have better coping mechanisms, like a good deep breath. Your advice wins again Smiley Happy

 

Another thing, the way you answered me was very light hearted and jovial almost, which was really helpful. I've emailed some other support groups and they are very serious, which makes me also very serious, which isn't really what I want. So thanks a lot Lex!

Re: Everything Mild

Really glad to hear it helped, Tree!

 

Ah… the old experiences that trouble you aren't much different to mine. The one that still burns me up inside is when I stole a Snickers bar from a convenience store when I was in my late teens. That one still fills me with regret from time to time, even though it's such a trivial thing — though quite illegal. Don't steal, people! It'll gnaw at you for the rest of your life!

 

I wouldn't say I was light-hearted or jovial in my reply but if you read it that way, maybe that says something about your own outlook? Perhaps you're a naturally light-hearted and jovial person?? Robot Very Happy

 

Either way, you're very welcome! I hope you can come back often and share your thoughts and experiences with others here on the forums. I think we've got a pretty positive and helpful thing going on around here!

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Re: Everything Mild

I guess it was your first comment about my username that gave me that impression.

 

Perhaps jovial isn't the right word. Let's say, conversational, that's better. 

 

Yes, I read through some of the posts, and some of them I guess people just want to be heard, so I reply saying "I'm hearing this, I'm thinking of you" which hopefully lightens their load a little bit.

 

About the Snickers bar, why not give like $3.00 to a charity, and say "At least the money I 'saved' went to a good cause!"