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Re: Everything's a mess

Hey @DruidChild this all sounds terrible. Have you ever thought about getting someone to talk to your family on your behalf? I get my case manager to, in terms of if I need space, they are to let me have space and time out to call people. It could be good for you in terms of being able to go for a walk on your own. And my family are a bit the same; I pretend to be watching netball everytime they ask what I'm doing on my laptop. It really sucks that you're having trouble talking to people; have you ever tried to explain what it's like for you? I know it's hard, I really do. Heart 

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Re: Everything's a mess

Thanks for understanding @loves netball. I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier - we went for a really long walk. That's a good idea actually - my counsellor would probably be happy to do that. Partly it's just frustrating because physically there is very little space and mentally I find it hard to distance myself from other people's emotions. I just want to escape Smiley Sad (I imagine you can relate to that!) 

 

Yeah, whenever I try to explain how hard it is to talk to people I get told it's just because I had a limited social circle growing up. And I don't want to cause trouble by disagreeing. I did write a really good story thing about how talking feels once, I should actually dig that out and show it my counsellor. 

 

Thanks again Heart

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Re: Everything's a mess

Hey @DruidChild, that sounds like a good idea to get the story. I think getting your counsellor to talk on your behalf could be a good first step.
I know i used to have massive (I mean massive) problems with talking to family. Like I couldn't even answer them when they asked how my day was! :/
But I worked with my counsellor and we started by answering with one word responses. Over time this changed to sentences and then even me asking questions.
I still have trouble, but i'm even able to ask for help if things are tough (sometimes).
I guess what i'm saying is that it will take time and effort. It's also about building trust with family so they feel like they can give you space.

Do you reckon you could try just having everyday conversations and then maybe also adding in how your day is or that you would like some time alone?
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Re: Everything's a mess

@DruidChild I used to fantasise about running away when I was around 15-16, to the point where I didn't come home from school once, so yes the idea of escape is also very real for me.

That's no fair that people dismiss your thoughts about not being able to talk to people. I know they have "their" reasons, which you totally don't have to accept. Instead of arguing do you think you could just tell them not say that? Let them know it upsets you? Could you show them the story? Could you ask them to listen to you, without putting their opinion on the situation? I'm guessing you're wanting someone to understand your point of view and to feel understood.

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Re: Everything's a mess

Everyone is so supportive here it makes me want to cry! You guys actually listen Smiley Happy 

 

@Alison5 Thanks so much for sharing some of your story - it sounds like you put a lot of effort into those relationships and your communication skills! What you suggested actually sounds pretty manageable. Hopefully I should be able to bring this up with my counsellor next year.

 

@loves netball Yeah, that's right! I want someone to recognise that I'm not just 'shy' I actually have long standing problems with communicating. Always have. And I'm sorry that things got so rough for you at home that you wanted to run away Smiley Sad 

 

Should I post the story I wrote on here, or nah??

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Re: Everything's a mess

Totally up to you @DruidChild, I'll read it Smiley Happy

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Re: Everything's a mess

Cool, thanks @loves netball Smiley Happy 

 

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Re: Everything's a mess

I thought that story was awesome and I'm sorry I couldn't reply properly till now. It sounds like you're a really good writter, just speaking is hard for you. I'm sorry it's hard for you. I understand you deleting it. I really feel for you, not knowing what's wrong with you. I'm always thinking of you X

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Re: Everything's a mess

Thank you so much @loves netball. I'm thinking of you and hope you are doing okay tonight, too. 

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Re: Everything's a mess

@DruidChild has there ever been someone you can really connect with and talk to?

I'm pretty low because of family, but am trying to be okay