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Everything triggers me

I hope I don't get told off for making this thread; I did try to do some stuff for at least an hour (baking) and have been watching netball.

I was going well for the for short while, and now my world feels like it's crashing down (although I know I can pick myself back up, I've done it before). I let myself get triggered for being sensitive, over something that's been eating at me since it happened a few weeks ago now. I wish I was not upset about the fact that I am sensitive. And the word sensitive has triggered thoughts of bullying and then something I did in the last week to make sure it doesn't happen again or ever happen to anyone else. But now I'm worried speaking up about it is going to back fire on me and I feel like I'm in the wrong. I'm trying to remind myself that I spoke up for a reason and that I don't know the future and just have to wait and see what happens. I have to remember that whatever happens, it's not the end of the world.

 

I'm sorry for making this thread, I know I already made one a couple of days ago in hope of support about something different, but it was probably a bad idea. I don't want to be told I'm an attention seeker or worse again. I'm sorry, so I guess I just wanted to express how hard I am trying, because I'm scared of being punished again. It feels like I've been punished my whole life just for being me (and now I'm crying). 

I think I'll try to hug big ted, watch more netball, maybe study, and try to call kids helpline before work.

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Re: Everything triggers me

@loves netball it happens, even words can be triggering. I can relate. I think as humans it's only natural to avoid triggers. Because it makes us uncomfortable having to face our problems. But sometimes we need to express our underlying emotions, because I've found avoiding them doesn't help in the long run. It's about embracing them (it's okay to feel what you feel), learning from them, and becoming a stronger person. You survived. And you should be proud of yourself for that.

Do you have any outlets for when it gets tough?Could you ask a counsellor on what you can do about feeling triggered?

Re: Everything triggers me

That sounds really tough @loves netball Smiley Sad I'm sorry that some of your experiences have hurt you and that triggers affect you so deeply. It sounds like you're doing a great job of using big ted, netball, and KHL to cope! I'm proud of you. What other strategies do you use to calm down when you see/hear/read something that triggers you? 

 

It's okay to stand up for things and try to make your environment safer for you  -  and not wanting other people to be hurt or triggered shows that you really care about other people, and want them to be safe! 

 

I see you trying so hard, you're so strong and you're doing so good. You can keep going. I know it's hard sometimes, but you are resilient and I believe you can keep trying (and succeeding!). 

 

One other thing I wanted to say, you mentioned being worried about being seen as attention seeking. It's something I worry about myself a lot, too, and when I brought it up with my counsellor a while back she suggested reframing 'attention seeking' to 'attention needing.' It's okay to not be okay and it's okay to ask for help, support, and attention when we need it. Heart

 

I hope work goes well tonight. 

Re: Everything triggers me

@loves netball sending so much love your way.

We know you're not an attention seeker, and we would prefer you to make threads here to talk about what's going on for you so that you can get some support. Well done for watching netball and baking for a bit. I'm so proud of you for doing those activities!

You have every right to be you, and I'm so sorry that it feels like you've been punished for that. It's so good that you're reminding yourself that you spoke up for a reason, and all those true things. They can be tough to remember sometimes, can't they?

 

How are you doing today? Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Everything triggers me

Thanks everyone. Am a bit worried about the fact that I made this thread. I wasn't trying to vent or anything just say that things have been extremely hard, they're now a bit better, but please go easy on me Smiley Happy

 

I had a good chat with my KHL counsellor; she worries a lot though, more than my previous one used to. I know she means well though because she thinks I'm quite an empowering young person. Smiley Happy

Re: Everything triggers me

I just got triggered by another thread on here, damn it, at least I've still got big ted

Re: Everything triggers me

Hey @loves netball Thanks for starting the thread Smiley Happy It's totally okay to use the forums as a manner of self-care and to use this opportunity to speak about something that may be relatable to others that use the forums. It's what we like to see on here - safe and positive ways to unload your thoughts. Venting is totally fine! (whilst respecting the guidelines) 

 

Its great to hear you have a counsellor that cares about you in this way. We absolutely believe that you're an empowering person as we've seen it in how you help people on here. 

 

If you feel like something is triggering maybe its time to log off and to use the tools you have in feeling better. Im sure Ted loves the attention! 

Re: Everything triggers me

Thanks @Thylacine, but for me venting is totally not fine and I can honesty say when I vent I feel a million times worse. For example to family I go off my tree about a sibling and it does not help me in any way possible!

Re: Everything triggers me

@loves netball I think that might come down to the method of venting and what that means to you? For me, I think its about explaining how we feel and what it is that's making us feel that way. As apposed to maybe lashing out or bottling something in until it needs to come out, therefore not being in control of how that happens. Nobody is perfect so I guess it just takes some practice Smiley Happy 

Re: Everything triggers me

Just the word venting triggers me, along with words such as ranting and rumination. Sorry I'm getting sensitive because of how people have spoken to me in the past. I know you're trying to be supportive @Thylacine Smiley Happy