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Ex boyfriend

need advice 

 

so I was seeing this guy for over 6  months and I found out that he had been talking to other girls and telling them to come over while he was home alone..my hat killed me inside and we broke up just before Christmas.. Over the last few weeks he has been messaging me telling me how sorry he is and how much he wants to make things right, I do miss him at times. 

But,...... He is moving to USA for work in a few months and asked me to go with him. I honestly don't know what to do, part of me wants to go but the other half doesn't because he cheated on me. 

An I don't know if I'm feeling this way because of everything going on an it's an easy escape. 

Re: Ex boyfriend

That decision is completely up to you @Talitha93, but it sounds like you both need to talk about it further before you make any decisions. Can you accept his apology and truly forgive him for past behaviour? I completely understand the appeal of being able to 'escape' overseas, but the old saying about not being able to run away from your problems is true. They will usually end up following you! If you are still undergoing treatment, I would also recommend you talk to your doc as health care is notoriously expensive in the US.

Re: Ex boyfriend

Hey @Talitha93,

 

As @ElleBelle mentioned, you need to do what you think is right. 

 

I hope that you're doing okay, after what must have been a very difficult Christmas for you! How are you finding your relationship at the moment with your ex?

 

 

I'm not here to give advice on these types of issues, but there are lot's of questions I'd ask myself before considering the big move- if I were in your shoes. Mostly about trust, what would happen if something went wrong, how it would change the course of my own life, and how it would go being in another country away from any contacts in Aus.  

 

Is there anyone else in your life (friends/family etc) who have spoken to you about what they think you should do?

 

Lahna

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Re: Ex boyfriend

@ElleBelle I am still so angry at him that i dont even want to talk to him, but when he messages me all these feeling start coming back and i honestly dont know if i can trust him again, he knew i hated people that cheat i saw my mother go through it and i never want to go through an he knew that from day one!!! 

i know they will follow me but  i feel that in order to move foward in my life i need to leave here!!!!! 

im undergoing treatment every week and having tests every week!!

i knoe it is very expensive over there!!! 

 

Hey @Lahna

I wish i knew wha was right. 

it has been the worst few months everything has seemed to have gotten worse since we broke up, i cant seem to do anything right and everything gets me down!! honestly i deleted his number and everything and he still contacts me, part of me wants nothing to do with him but the other half misses him so much. 

my mother  thinks i should just give him another go and my friends thinks its totally up to me.. 

 

why is life so hard!!!!!!!!!

Re: Ex boyfriend

It can be hard to forget the intense feelings you have for someone, @Talitha93 especially if those feelings would have continued if he hadn't betrayed your trust.  At the end of the day, you know your relationship and your own feelings better than anyone else, which is why it's really hard to give people relationship advice as an outsider. It's great that you can talk this over with your mum and your friends. I think sometimes it's not so much the actual "do this" advice we're looking for as much as the opportunity to talk it over and try to sort out our own feelings. Either way, I hope you are able to make a decision you feel is best for you.

Re: Ex boyfriend

Hey @Talitha93,

 

How are you going with the big decision? Have you spoken to your ex about it?

 

It sounds like you are really torn between 2 frames of mind: the one that misses him and wants him back, and the other which wants nothing to do with him. It's also hard to make a choice, because there is no "right" answer which is what makes the decision so difficult. You just need to trust your gut and do what you feel will be best for you in the long run. 

 

Is there a reason why your mother is encouraging you to make the move? I really hope we cand help you find some clarity in your feelings and thoughts, it sounds like a very stressful and lifechanging situation that you have found yourself in.

 

Here to help,

 

Lahna