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Excessive guilt

If I make a small mistake when I'm in the depressive phase I'm overwhelmed by guilt. I know nobody is perfect, but perfection is what I strive for. For example today I broke my phone, and I've had it for a while, it was slowing down too. Afterwards I started hating myself for it. It doesn't seem rational to hate yourself over something so small. Feelings are feelings. 

 

I'm more prone to bursting into tears. I used to be able to control my tears so well. It hasn't been like that for the past year. I feel so childish. Maybe I'm a sensitive person, but still, sometimes its hard to accept it, I'm really insecure about it. 

 

Now I feel as though I'm being selfish for posting this, I guess I'll continue my ride on the guilt road. All of this sounds stupid. 

Re: Excessive guilt

I feel as though I need so much help. I hate feeling needy and selfish because I feel inadequate.

Re: Excessive guilt

Hey @Creativegirl12 

That sounds like a lot of guilt for one person to deal with !

Its understandable to feel guilt over things breaking or not working out. Theres always the part of you that thnks what if I did this different or what if I could have done this better.. But what you have to remember is, you did the best you could with what you had and at the end of the day, the rest is out of your hands. We, as people,  can only do so much, and the rest is up to all the other external forces that are in our daily lives.

 

There is a good fact sheet about challanging negative thinking which might help when the vicious cycle of negative thoughts comes by

 

If you find yourself feeling guilty for things like this, maybe stop and take a breath, and ask yourself a few questions/ remind yourself a few things

- You did the best you could in the situation you were in

- Most of the time, we can control a certain extent of an outcome, but almost always, there are many other factors at play that influence the outcome - its not all on youSmiley Happy

- It is very unlikely that you intended for the outcome to be not so great, so its not your fault if the many othe forces cause it to be. You are not a bad person because this has happened

 

Seeking help is not being selfish Smiley Happy it shows great strength

 

 

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Re: Excessive guilt

Hey @Creativegirl12 ,

 

First off, you never need to feel guilty or selfish for posting on these forums because that's exactly what they're here for. 

 

This sounds so tiring for you, mentally and emotionally, I can understand how this would make you burst into tears. I like the self talk info sheet @hartley_ posted earlier. I like this one too http://au.reachout.com/What-is-self-talk.

 

When I was in recovery I got introduced to something kind of similar, self-love. It probably sounds ridiculous, that's what I thought first. The idea of loving yourself and being kind to yourself when you mess up. Realistically it might sound impossible right now and it did for me when I first heard it. At the beginning there is no expectation that you can just let every little thing go, but maybe try challenging those thoughts a little. For example with your phone, yeah it sucks but we've all done it. We're human. It doesn't make you a bad person. Your guilty thoughts will fight back but try to keep challenging them. 

 

You definitely sound like you want to change Creativegirl12. Small steps. And remember you can ALWAYS post on the forums Smiley Happy

Re: Excessive guilt

@Creativegirl12  reading your post I can totally relate. When I was a bit younger I had a really similar thing where the smallest thing would make me feel so inexplicably guilty... to the point of feeling physically sick in the stomach. They were really minor things like breaking something or accidently using a swear word... Stuff that others wouldnt even think twice about but I would agonize over and I had no idea why.

 

Both @hartley_ and @rt262  gave such amazing advice and I thought I might just jump in too and say that those feelings of guilt did go away for me and they will for you too. It took some time and some effort because there were some things going on in my head that i needed to sort through but with the help of some important people in my life at the time (family and my therapist at the time) things started to get better.

 

Its good to remind yourself (just like I had to remind myself) that you are not in anyway needy or selfish for seeking help. You are brave and you want to make things better for yourself and that is a really amazing thing - it is an excellent step towards feeling better.

 

Let us know how you are going,

 

Chels Smiley Happy

Re: Excessive guilt

I'm sorry for the late reply, I've been really busy lately. University also starts in a weeks time. Orientation week is after this weekend.

Thanks for all the advice, it really means a lot to me. It's best to keep things in perspective, we can only do our best. I think maybe it's related to self-worth, my need to please others. It's important to love yourself when you make a mistake, we all have flaws by also strengths.

Re: Excessive guilt

Guilt is something we all go through, i think this blogpost helps. I love reading posts on stuff like this, it really helps me. 

 

http://booshnaa.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/guilt.html