Failed My Drivers Test

[anonymousgirl101]

I’m so crushed and disappointed in myself, i’ve had 6 lessons with an instructor and I managed to mess up the 3 point turn to the point i’m in the gutter, forget to take off the handbrake, and completely failed when I went out into the round a bout. I want to hurt myself a million times because I have planned a trip with a friend that I need to have my license for in less than a month and a bit, and the closest date I could they could fit in is 2 weeks before the trip. The thought of going through the test again makes me want to kill myself, I can’t handle the nerves of it and I have to work tonight for 6 hours where everyone will ask me if I got my license. I’m going to have to fight the erge to not bawl my eyes out for the next 6 hours. Excuse me while I continue to want to hurt myself for being the worst person and driver in existence. Now I have to worry about how i’m getting to work for the next month, how I’m going to definitely not fail the next one, and how if I do fail, am I going to tell my friend that we need to posepone the trip. If I wasn’t such a garbage human maybe I would have got my license sooner like a normal kid my age. I want to die.

[gina-RO]

Hi @anonymousgirl101 thank you for coming on the forum and sharing - that must be a massively disappointing thing to happen today.  

The most important thing right now is your safety - so I just need to check in with you about you saying you want to die. Do you have a plan to end your life? 

If you are having thoughts of suicide, please click here now to go to a list of supports you can access right now. You can call one of those numbers to speak to someone on the phone. 

[Bree-RO]

Hey @anonymousgirl101 have you managed to contact any of the services @gina-RO mentioned? I have many friends who failed their drivers test multiple times - I know it feels incredibly hard, but you're totally not alone! Please let us know how you're going and if you managed to chat to any of the services. We want to chat further about this on ReachOut but need to make sure you're safe first. 

[anonymousgirl101]

I’m safe, and I don’t really want to kill myself, thanks for caring

[Esperanza67]

Hey @anonymousgirl101, sucks to hear that you've failed your drivers test, but I'm happy to hear you're safe. I agree with @Bree-RO, I knew heaps of people as well who've failed their drivers test and still went on to get their licence! It's definitely not uncommon at all and I have strong faith that you will get your licence soon. As for your concerns about how to do well in your next drivers test, I guess my advice would be to just keep practicing and learn from your mistakes in the first one. The good thing is now you're already familiar with the testing environment so you'll know what to expect in your second test. Does that help? Good luck!

[scared01]

thats ok @anonymousgirl101 if it helps i failed the first time too for a silly mistake but i learnt form it and then passed with 100% the next test i done. i got a few extra driving lessons and practived more on what i failed in. good luck and keep practicing 

[anonymousgirl101]

I’m just more sad because for the next month a lot of things for me are going to be difficult, and I also have the pressure of having to get it next time or else I’ll have to change a very big travel plan I have. The frustrating part is that the mistakes I made were stupid and small mistakes I don’t even think I have ever made outside of the test, the nerves of the test got to me and I got so overwhelmed I messed up everything, I’m worried that will happen again no matter how much i practise.

[N1ghtW1ng]

Hey @anonymousgirl101,
I understand that it can be difficult without a license, they certainly make things a lot easier. Do you think practicing as if it's the test might help you?
My brother failed four times before he got his license, it's a totally normal thing to happen. Plus, I didn't get my license until I was 19. Everyone does things at their own pace and that's ay-o-kay

[ErinsAntics]

Hey @anonymousgirl101 

As someone who failed her drivers license 4 times before she got hers, I sympathise with you!

I think everyone finds testing situations to be more nerve wracking and because of that you miss the smallest things. 

On the plus side you know what to expect and you know what you need to work on to pass next time. Have you thought about maybe having a couple more drivers lessons just to help regain your confidence and refresh your memory? I also recommend going for a drive around where the test takes place to familiarise yourself with the area.

All the best for next time, you will get it  

[anonymousgirl101]

Thanks everyone, I have managed to get a test in sooner and some more lessons, This experience and melt down has been kind of eye opening as I’ve realised more about myself and the way I treat myself in hard situations. I’m very emotional and the slightest feeling of intense emotions makes me tear up, wether its anxiety, sharing my opinions on a topic i’m passionate about, or just whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed. I think I may have some really low self esteem problems as I tend to always blame myself for the littlest of things, And sometimes I get so frustrated with myself I dig my fingernails into my hands hard as a way to release my frustration. I never feel good enough for anyone as I for years have pushed myself away from any relationship that gets too close, including never wanting to be in a partner relationship. I mean, its not as bad all the time, I still have friends that I enjoy talking too and hanging out with, but i’ve always been like this in some way. Sometimes its not that apparent and sometimes I really hate myself and feel like I don’t deserve anything.