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Re: Failed My Drivers Test

@anonymousgirl101 thank you for letting us know that you're safe. 

 

That's great news that you've been able to book in sooner for another test, and get some more lessons. Like others have said, its very common to fail your driving test - I failed mine on first attempt! That doesn't take away from how disappointing and frustrating it is, but you're definitely not alone. 

And wow, what amazing insights you've shared from this experience - sounds like you've been able to notice some pretty important stuff about yourself. I think most of us are much tougher and more critical to ourselves than we would ever be on anyone else - Something that I find useful when I'm disappointed or frustrated in myself, is to ask what I would say to a friend in my situation. So for example, if you imagine what you might say to a friend that failed their driving test, and you might find a nicer way of talking to yourself as well. 

 

I think what you've said about low self-esteem will ring true for a lot of other people too. It's a really difficult thing to experience, but it's definitely something that with small steps, can get better. We've got some information here about improving self-esteem, and on building self-confidence here. You might find them helpful to look through. 
We also had a thread (a while ago) where people shared things they find helpful for building self esteem - you can check it out here.


Maybe some other members can jump in and offer some support on this too? @Birdeye @lokifish @N1ghtW1ng @ErinsAntics 

 

 

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I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Failed My Drivers Test

@anonymousgirl101 you've come so far, just think of how awesome it will feel when you do pass! Plus like somebody else said, you now know what to expect for next time. Our brains are pretty cool in that the more times we expose ourselves to stressful scenarios the better we get at handling them.

 

Although I ended up passing my test on the first go (baaaaarely though - I think my instructor was a bit surprised Smiley Tongue) it took me more than 4 years to decide to go for my Ps because I was scared of failing. So while my experience is a bit different to yours I can still say that it's definitely a normal fear/frustration to have. You'll get there Heart

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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Failed My Drivers Test

Hey guys, So I’ve been having a bit of trouble with worrying and anxiety over waiting till I do my next test, I keep telling myself its not a big deal if I fail or not to get me to not be so anxious about it, but I still can’t stop worrying and thinking about it and what could happen. The test is over 3 weeks away and I don’t want to spend the next 3 weeks pulling my hair out over it and feeling miserable. I think the two main issues I have to focus on before I do my test again is my confidence on the road, (mainly judging gaps in which to go through a round about or make a turn onto a road) and my overall anxiety over the test and someone in the car watching my every move. Before my first test I wasn’t as anxious untill I actually started driving and doing the test. I put so much presure on myself to do everything absolutely perfectly that I was overthinking everything and in the end that drove me straight into a panic attack. I want to be able to drive in the test and drive like I normally do as I am quite confident in how I drive safely and check mirrors and signs and everything on the road. If I am too cautious like I was the first time i’m afraid I will end up overwhelmed once again making mistakes and failing. I keep telling myself that i’ll be fine go calm myself down but that little negative voice in me always comes back as well as doupts that make me want to cry heaps. Does anyone have any ideas on how to build up confidence with turning into main roads and going through round abouts or how to deal with this ever growing anxiety, I feel like i’m in a nightmare that will never end.

 

because I can not fail, but i’m trying to forget that and pretend it doesn’t matter as much so i don’t make mistakes again. I’ve never had this much anxiety before and I feel hopeless like i’m not in control of my body.

Re: Failed My Drivers Test

@anonymousgirl101 I'm sorry to hear your failed the test Smiley Sad But glad to hear you have another booked in Smiley Happy
I'm going to jump on the train too and back up the notion of knowing what to expect in the test for next time.

I also failed my test for my P's twice, and got it third time lucky Smiley Tongue
For me I ended up going to a different RMS building when I failed the second time. I was so upset and annoyed because the same person had passed people who said they didn't stop at a stop sign during the test (which where I am, is classed as an automatic fail). When I went to the next town about an hour away, I passed and I'd only driven down about 90% of the roads once that I was tested on!
I think most people will have a testing story to share, good and bad.

I wonder if doing a calming or relaxation exercise just before your test will help keep the nerves under control?
Good luck with your next test. Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Failed My Drivers Test

Hi @anonymousgirl101 (Your reply ended up in spam, so I've just removed it!)

It sounds like the anxiety about the test is quite overwhelming right now!

I think it is quite understandable to be nervous about the test Smiley Happy

We've said about that you'll have an idea no about what to expect having done it once before, does that make you more or less anxious about it?

 

I'm wondering if there are some self-care activities you can do to help keep you calm?

 

It is really awesome that you are otherwise confident in your driving Smiley Happy

I remember when I did my tests, and it was pretty nerve-wracking! And I know it's easier said than done, but I found reducing some of the pressure to pass the test helped me pass... 

With judging gaps in the traffic, I told myself not to worry about how long it took me to get through, but that to get through safely was the goal. And even now as a full licence driver (that makes me feel old!) I still miss judge and have moments of "oh I could have gone before that car", but I remind myself that I'd rather be too cautious than reckless. Smiley Happy Take your time and remember that like any skill the more you practice the easier it becomes.

I hope I haven't rambled too much, and that this has been helpful Smiley Happy


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Failed My Drivers Test

Hey @anonymousgirl101,

Even as someone who has had their license for a couple of years, I'm still really bad at telling. A good way of telling is to watch the cars around you and seeing what they do. Your driving instructor might have some other tips for you as well if you feel confident enough asking them.
With roundabouts as well, it depends on their size but I find it's when there is a pause in cars coming. So if a car leaves the exit to your right, drive on or if a car at another entrance has stopped, go. But it really is okay if you wait. People might get annoyed but safety is important when driving and if you don't feel it's safe to go then don't.
Practice really helps too in building confidence. I was a nervous wreck when I first started and while sometimes I can have little panicky moments, generally it's a lot easier. You can do this!

Do you have some strategies for dealing with anxiety in other situations that you could apply to driving?