Hey everyone,
I'm struggling to cope with my younger brother at the moment. He's been rather rude and nasty to me and it only seems to be getting worse. He will mumble nasty words and comments just loud enough so that I can hear them, then turn around and accuse me of lying to get him into trouble.
I've talked to my parents about it, dad just ignores it, and occasionally bans him from the computer for the remainder of the day, but it never works, the next day he's back at it. Where mum doesn't seem to do anything. Occasionally she will tick him off about it, but it never really gets the message across.
Upon telling her about the last incident ( tonight) she just said that there is nothing she can do and that he's learnt it from school. Which I find totally irritating because she should be able to discipline him! I was never allowed to get away with behaviour like that, not that I was ever this rude!
He does have a diagnosis of ADHD and has other learning difficulties which have not been diagnosed... But surely it doesn't give him a right to be so rude and arrogant?! I'm really struggling to cope with his behaviour and am at my wits end as to what to do. Nothing seems to work with him. It's like dead set if he's out to annoy me he will, it doesn't matter at what cost he will kept going until I crack it. I just don't know what to do anymore. If I ignore it he will keep going and it only gets worse, and if I say something nothing is done and I'm accused to lying. I can't even walk away from the situation because I'm just told to come back and ignore him. Yet if he walks off more often than not he's allocated a new task or let to lay around leisurely which only feeds his ego...
If anyone has any suggestions I'm grateful for ideas. I feel like this isn't helping me any with everything else...
Hey @Bee that sounds really crappy. It sucks that he can get away with that and that your parents aren't really doing anything. I guess what I might suggest is trying to ignore it? I know that is so much easier said than done but I'm just wondering if he likes to do it because he gets a reaction out of you. Although I know it would make my blood boil to do it, maybe over time he will get sick of it.
Do you guys get along or hang out at all? Sometimes having siblings can be sooooo frustrating but sometimes they are awesome, maybe those days are just a little further away....
Keep us posted 
I do sometimes get along with him. It also makes it hard because if I were to bring this up with him when we're 'getting along' it only makes the air tense and disrupts the notion of us getting along...
I can try to ignore him for longer, but apart of me feels like he learns that he can get away with his bad behaviour if he's not reprimanded for it...
That's a toughie, when you want to enjoy that time spent getting along but it doesn't seem fair to just ignore the previous bad behaviour.
Hmm... I know what you're saying about him not being reprimanded, but I guess one thing to think about would be whether that is your role to discipline him- especially when it makes your relationship tense. Even thoughhhh your parents don't seem to want to do it. What an annoying cycle!
Have you sat down and had a proper chat with your parents about it? Maybe your dad because he seems to be more likely to give it a go. Maybe you can point out how it makes you feel and the impact it's having on you?
I'm here to keep battling out some solutionsif you need !
If it helps at all @Bee remember that you won't be living under the same roof forever! My younger brother knew exactly how to push my buttons and it was so hard no to give him the reaction he was looking for - in fact, most of the time I couldn't keep my cool and ended up in a fight with him. BUT he moved out at 17 and that tension was eased greatly. I know it doesn't feel very helpful in those moments where you want to scream at him, but you can go to your mental 'happy place' sometime in the future where you don't live together
I guess that's something I haven't really thought about. I could ignore it next time and just quietly mentioning to my parents. I guess this is something I need to work on and issues within me...
The other thing is that he will do the opposite of what you want him to and continue to stir and then do what you DON'T want him to do! Then he will just turn around and deny it.
I have tried to talk to them about it, the funny thing is that dad doesn't really care, he just annoyed with hearing about it so he bans the computer to shut the issue up.. which of course never works because then I get the wrap from my brother again! (Talk about a vicious cycle!) My mum will sometimes act upon the behaviour, but it's not consistent...
@m-y93 yep everyone learns differently. The thing about bringing it up with him is that it only creates another argument! He never wants to admit that he's done anything disrespectful or that has hurt another person. He will deny anything that is pointed out to him. I guess this one really hits hard because I am such an honest person, and I don't see how someone can blatantly lie!?
Thanks guys, this has given me a bit to think about, I will trial these points and see how they go.
Will keep you posted
Your younger brother sounds exactly like mine!
"knew exactly how to push my buttons and it was so hard no to give him the reaction he was looking for"
Relates so well to the situations I'm battling with!!
Will try to remember a happy mental place when in future situations! Thank you
