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Fear for future stopping me from living in the "now"


Lately I been on a uphill battle mentally as I have suddenly started feeling really empty and isolated. Its weird, I dont want to sound arrogant but I do rather well on the sports field and in the classroom. I am achieving goals and everyone around is proud and happy. But Im not. I feel like everyone is smiling and patting me on the back but I genuinely am not happy. Instead of going to parties and hanging out with mates, I am studying/training with no time spent with real friends. 

I apologize for the long paragraph, I just need advice on how to feel fulfilled, be more social and "get back out there" with family and friends. I dont want to waste my only childhood because I am constantly worrying about my future.


Re: Fear for future stopping me from living in the "now"

Hey @Ryket240 , welcome to Reachout - glad you found us. 

No need to apologise about your post - we are here to listen, and it sounds like you could do with some support Heart


It sounds like you're under a bit of pressure - is that fair to say? The focus on studying, and training must take up a lot of your time and  energy. Not having time for friends and fun stuff can have a big impact on your mood  - is there a way you can factor in more chill out time? 

Enjoying your younger years can be really hard to do when you're feeling pressure about the future. 
Is there anyone you can talk to about this? A friend or someone in your family? 

Maybe your school has a counsellor you could see? 


As for getting back out there socially - as with anything, it's likely going to take one small step at a time. Perhaps you could start by thinking about time in your week you can block out as "free time". Maybe you could try to go to one family or social event a fortnight to start with?  




I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Fear for future stopping me from living in the "now"

Hey @Ryket240! Welcome to the forums! Heart

I relate to your post quite a lot. I don't know how old you are, but though out my life I felt as though I've been 'wasting' my youth by not getting out and being social. People told me year 7 would be the best year of my life... then high school in general... then my early twenties... but though all this time I feel like I haven't felt the hype of being a certain age. Like you, I do very well at school/ uni and am always attempting to tackle my goals, but my lack of companionship sometimes still makes me feel empty. I feel like too many expectations are put on youth: we are expected to be irresponsible and responsible at the same time, and too often we are thrown into adult life with little idea of how to navigate it. Because of this, I believe it is completely normal to feel how you're feeling.

Like @gina-RO said, you sounding like you're under quite a lot of pressure. Blocking out some free-time in your schedule would be an excellent starting point (even something like allowing yourself to watch some TV/relax an hour a day and making sure to hang out with friends once a fortnight). You sound like you have really great, supportive friends which is brilliant. Maybe you could express how you've been feeling to them, or someone else you trust (such as a mental health professional?) .

Re: Fear for future stopping me from living in the "now"

Hi @gina-RO@Hozzles 

Thank you so much for replying, It truly means a lot. I am 17 years old.

I can definitely factor in more chill time. Being around other people eradicates the emptiness I feel when alone. I will set out to effectively put more time into fun, social events. And I'll try share my emotions with my friends, family. I'm sick of bottling whatever I feel inside me, pretty sure that's not healthy! I'll further consider talking to a counsellor. 

Thanks, @Hozzles for assuring me it's normal what I'm experiencing, I guess a lot of people my age struggle with their identity/passion etc. I guess fulfilment comes in many forms and I'll continue searching for mine.

Also, I'll try pay forward the kindness you guys have shown me and try my best to help others on this website.

Thank you again!

Re: Fear for future stopping me from living in the "now"

@Ryket240 thank you so much for updating us! I'm really happy you're feeling a little better. We would love to have your voice on this site: I've myself found that even being here makes myself feel less isolated. Smiley Very Happy

And no worries, that completely makes sense. Year 11-12 were some of my worst mental health years as I struggled towards unobtainable goals of getting into my dream university at the cost of completely isolating myself. I didn't end up getting in, and for a while I felt horrible, but I have since found that the university I go to now is probably better suited for me then my original pick, anyway. Sometimes the future doesn't go as planned, and that's okay! As long as you're kind to yourself and continue seeking support, you'll get through it!