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Fear that people are having malicious plans to hurt me, mentally or physically or both.

I recently got involved in a quarrel with a group of foreign people on working holiday in Australia. A girlfriend of a guy I used to see in the past is jealous towards me and is spreading terrible rumours about me to sabotage all my current relationships. I confronted her but she is not willing to compromise or talk reasons. Things got fiery and out of hand. I am in great fear now that they're willing to go out of their way to do something to harm me in some ways. Are my thinkings rational? What should I do?

Re: Fear that people are having malicious plans to hurt me, mentally or physically or both.

Hey @khanh09 


Welcome to the R/O forums and thank you for sharing your concerns. It's never a nice when you feel targeted and worried about your own safety. 

 

It is hard to tell you whether what you are feeling is rational or not with such limited information. You mentioned that you're fearful of them harming you in some way - what are you scared they might do? Have they threatened you in any way?

 

Please read our guidelines here to ensure that your response is within them. In other words, we have a list of things users that we generally advise against/for users saying, to ensure this is a safe space for everyone. For instance, we ask users to avoid description of abuse or assault. Please have a read when you can Smiley Happy

Re: Fear that people are having malicious plans to hurt me, mentally or physically or both.

Hi @khanh09,

 

Welcome to the forums Heart

 

I am sorry that these events happened to you. It can be difficult to discuss these things (especially if you are worried that you aren't sounding rational) so it was brave of you to reach out.

 

I am sorry that I myself don't have a lot of experience with a situation like this but I am sure other's on the forum do. I imagine it can be very difficult and scary to fear that people are trying to hurt you.

 

I was wondering if you could provide a bit more information about the situation. Are you considering telling the police? Do you feel as though you are in immediate danger? (if so maybe you should consider telling the authorities or at least reaching out to someone in your life who you trust)

 

Or do you feel at least relatively safe and more want to discuss whether certain things are just in your head?

Re: Fear that people are having malicious plans to hurt me, mentally or physically or both.

Hey @khanh09 

 

It does sound awful what you are going though, that you feel unfairly treated by the girlfriend who is doing this to. You have the right to feel safe, loved, and trusted around people you care about. If I was in your position, I think I'd be afraid too. 

 

I have a couple of questions:

What is the current relationships you have like? Are they one big group or separate groups? Cause I'm interested in knowing what you are currently doing to handle the situation or if there are others you feel more safe around.

Re: Fear that people are having malicious plans to hurt me, mentally or physically or both.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post! I really appreciate it. 

 

Regarding the situation, now that I am a bit more calm, I think I am feeling uneasy because it was unfair for me. The boyfriend and I had history but it was over before they started their new relationship. But he, while being with her, initiated contact with me saying he still cared and still wanted to talk to me. I brushed it off telling him to respect his gf as this is not going to end well. Later I met the gf in person. We met and I showed her everything. But I still wished they could work it out since it has never been my intention to hurt their relationship. The thing is, even after all that, Idk what they told one another but the next day they both turned against me and started insulting me. I did not want to say anything anymore so I blocked them. We have different friends circles so basically I was able to get them out of my life. However, recently I met a guy. And I only realised later that he is also connected to the couple. The story got to him, well, the wrong version of it. The gf has been telling people that I am actively trying to get with  her bf. It is frustrating to find out. The attitude of the guy I know then started to change and eventually I found out he tried to play with me by asking me out, then never got back to keep me waiting, while going to the place we’re supposed to go with his friends. After found out about this I started to feel intimidated because if they are willing to go out of their way to do something like that to try to hurt me. It is getting out of hand. 

 

Other than that, there has been no explicit threat or anything of that sort. So I don’t really have any evidence for my worries to show the authorities. 

 

I know this is all the unnecessary drama nobody want to hear about. Sorry to bring this up here. But I’m feeling the most lonely now coping with this myself when they are together in a group.

Re: Fear that people are having malicious plans to hurt me, mentally or physically or both.

Hey @khanh09 

 

I want you to know that you're not bringing up unnecessary drama. Creating a space for people to find ways to cope when they feel lonely is exactly what we're about. So you're in the right place Heart 

 

The situation sounds stressful and I can see why you're feeling attacked. Do you think it would make you feel better if you were able to communicate this to the guy you were seeing? Sorry this has happened but know we are here to listen to you vent Heart 

Re: Fear that people are having malicious plans to hurt me, mentally or physically or both.

Hi @khanh09,

 

I am glad you are feeling calmer and I am sorry that such an unfair situation happened to you. It must feel very frustrating to feel as though you have finally got space from this issue to find it is coming back through a new person.

 

Do you have a support network that doesn't include this couple? It might be nice to spend time with those around you that know and understand your side of the story.

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Re: Fear that people are having malicious plans to hurt me, mentally or physically or both.

Hi @khanh09 

 

Reading through what you have shared, I'm wondering if any changes have happened since then? I just want to know if things are better and you are feeling better and more safe?