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Feeling disconnected from people

Lately I've been feeling detached from others. I have no social life, and I feel too tired to make an effort. Living with chronic pain and anxiety is exhausting. I feel so alone. Yet, I don't feel like reaching out, it feels so pointless. I don't feel like talking. I am afraid nobody wants to talk about it, I do not want to make others feel uncomfortable. I don't think anyone will understand it. 

 

I don't know why I live my life like this. I'm like an invisible ghost tarrying in the shadows. 

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

Hey @Beautifullybroken, I completely understand where you're coming from. Sometimes it feels as though everyone is so distant and while you feel lonely, reaching out can seem scary, bothersome or intrusive. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way and that while talking about it can be uncomfortable, it is important. Those around you may not realise you're feeling this way. I was feeling this way a lot this year, but my closest friends didn't know to give support because they didn't know how I was feeling and assumed I was fine. Things definitely got better once I spoke up, despite how worried I was about saying something. Is there anyone you trust that you'd be comfortable expressing this to?

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

Hi @Beautifullybroken I’m sorry you’re feeling so isolated. It sounds like you’re going through some real pain and that is never a fun experience. You have made a great first step by coming to speak to us, even if you’re not comfortable speaking to family or friends yet. 

 

I agree with @someone123 though, speaking with people you care about can definitely help eleviate some of the loneliness. Here is an article about talking to your parents about getting help that you might find helpful. 

 

We’re always here to listen, even if you’re not comfortable talking to anyone else yet ❤️

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

Hey @Beautifullybroken, i'm sorry to hear that you're struggling a lot right now, but it's really brave of you to reach out to the forums for support <3 I was wondering if you were seeing a professional you could talk to about how you're feeling right now, like a GP or a counsellor?

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

@someone123 and @Libellule I spoke to my parents about it a while back, they don't really know how to help. I do know someone who might be able to understand it better, but I haven't gotten around to it. Talking about it is anxiety provoking too.

@ecla34 I do see my GP and psychiatrist often. They know I suffer from anxiety, but I haven't told them everything. I don't think I could.

Thanks for the support <3

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

Hey @Beautifullybroken, I think talking to your parents is a massive step. It is also amazing that you feel like you have someone else that you can talk to about it. Having these conversations are very difficult and challenging although may get easier and more comfortable as you go. What makes you think you couldn't tell your GP and psychiatrist everything? They can only help you based on what you tell them, unfortunately. Everyone opens up in their own time but it is really important in order to get the support that is most beneficial and helpful for you Heart

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

@Beautifullybroken, it's good you've reached out to your parents about it, sorry that they feel unsure about how to help you. I understand that reaching out is anxiety inducing, and that's okay if you can't do it now - it's important to do things at your own pace as well. As @Taylor-RO said, it's important to be able to open up about these things to your GP and psychiatrist, do you not feel comfortable enough with them to talk about it? 

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

@Taylor-RO and @someone123 I'm afraid my GP and psychiatrist won't understand. I suppose I don't really feel comfortable, but I don't really feel comfortable talking to anyone about it. I haven't really spoken to anyone about it for a while. I know I should but I find myself avoiding it. I always say I'll talk about it later. Tell myself it's not a good time at the moment. I'm used to walking alone. I'm used to being lonely. I'm afraid of being needy and vulnerable.

I do nothing hoping time will heal the wounds, but it doesn't go away. I find myself making the same mistakes. But you can only ignore the pain for so long. I am afraid of being forever broken. I'm not sure if I can mend my heart.

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

It can be really hard to open up and talk about what's going on for us @Beautifullybroken, as it can make us feel vulnerable and we often think others won't be able to truly understand... however there is so much healing in sharing our experience with others and more often than not, when we feel heard and understood this can open us up to all kinds of healing.

 

Have you ever chatted to a helpline before? This could be a good way to ease yourself into sharing what's going on for you? And please know you are not alone in this (even though it may feel that way). We all make mistakes, which is a good thing because "mistakes" help us to learn and grow Heart

Re: Feeling disconnected from people

@Erin-RO I have called helplines in the past, haven't done so for a long time. I could when I get the chance to. I think my issue is in the past I felt as though I had little control over certain life events. I've become so obsessed with control. That I strive for perfection, I feel I ought to be a perfect person, like a perfect daughter, friend, sister etc. I'm hard on myself when I don't do as well at uni as I would like to. I know I need to learn to not be so hard on myself. My mental health and physical health has compromised my performance. My health is always another worry on my mind.

I also feel as though I need to look perfect. I obsess over flaws e.g. blemishes on my face, how my hair just doesn't look right. I feel so vain to even admit it. I'm overly concerned with what I eat, I have to eat the right proportion of food, I have to eat the right food because I'm afraid of gaining weight. I'm also afraid of the adverse effects of certain food on my health.

I feel like my brain just doesn't stop. It's like I'm trying to prove to myself I'm worth it, I'm trying to heal my broken soul. But I know achieving perfection is not realistic. But that doesn't stop be from striving towards it.