It sounds like you have a lot of insight into what's going on for you @Beautifullybroken, which is a big step in being able to work through everything. It sounds like because you've felt little control over certain life events that you may have tried to compensate a bit by focusing on controlling things you can? It's understandable then that you would feel like your brain doesn't stop... I would really encourage reaching out to get some one-to-one support, especially if you feel it's effecting things like your relationship with food and body image.
Have you ever checked out the Butterfly Foundation? They have some fantastic resources and info; and they have a helpline service where you can use webchat, chat on the phone or via email
@Erin-RO yeah I think I'm trying to compensate by focusing on things I can control. I've been able to contact the Butterfly Foundation. It did help to talk to someone about it. I'll probably speak to my psychiatrist when I get back from holidays.