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Re: Feeling extremely hopeless

@DruidChild  I must have missed that in earlier posts, sorry.

 

You have mentioned some other strategies which you find more fulfilling, and these make a real difference in people's lives. I believe that you are already involved in positive change, maybe not in the way you see it, but I certainly can see a really positive and caring person. Heart I'm really sorry that you don't see these activities as worthwhile, because I certainly do.

 

Sometimes being indulgent isn't necessarily a bad thing - life and support is all about give and take, and you deserve as much support as you are giving! Smiley Happy

Re: Feeling extremely hopeless

i see you had some wonderful help last night, i apologise for not being here for you too @DruidChild

 

how are you going today?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Feeling extremely hopeless

hey @DruidChild how are you going?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Feeling extremely hopeless

Hey everyone. Sorry for not being around. I was doing okay for a while and just hadn't logged on, then last week I tried to kill myself several times, got picked up by police and scheduled. Just got home an hour ago.

Feeling pretty wrecked rn, my family is all exhausted, traumatised and/or not speaking to me which is understandable. I just feel so guilty. 

Hope everyone is doing okay atm Heart

Re: Feeling extremely hopeless

Hey @DruidChild, I'm so sorry to hear that things have been so bad for you. Heart

 

I'm glad you're now safe. I think you are entitled to a good rest after everything that's happened over the past week. Perhaps when you're rested up, it would be a good time to review your safety plan? If you don't mind me asking, what strategies have you got to keep yourself safe at the moment?

 

It will take time for your family to process everything that's happened, I'm sorry if it appears that they are not interacting with you right now. This might be hard to hear right now, but I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty whatsoever. You have been trying so hard for so long, and last week, I guess your coping tolerance ran out. I want to emphasise that relapse is a part of recovery, and when you have got through this, you will be a much stronger person for it.

 

You really are a beautiful person @DruidChild - really selfless, and willing to help others when you see them struggling. I hope you don't ever forget this. We're always here if you want to talk. Heart

Re: Feeling extremely hopeless

Hi @DruidChild, I'm very sorry to hear how hard things have been for you. Thank you for letting us know, and I am really glad you were able to get some support and are now safe. 
You must be exhausted, and I agree with @mrmusic that resting is in order - take your time processing and looking after yourself this week. 
Remember that you are a survivor, and that you have so many incredible things to offer the world, and to those around you! Feeling guilty is a normal way to feel after experiencing suicide, but if you can, try to use some of that empathy and compassion that you always show to others, towards yourself. 

What are you doing for the rest of the day? How do you feel to be home?

A review of your supports, and safety plan when you're ready,  is an excellent idea @mrmusic - we are all here to listen, and support you, however we can Heart

 

_____________________________________________
I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Feeling extremely hopeless

Hopefully things are temporarily a bit better for you, your post is so well written and relatable that I can't help but sympathize. I feel like we are all searching for that kind of peace and stability you wrote about, and I hope you find it.

Kind Regards