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Feeling left out

Hi, I don't usually post alot, im here to just chat and see if anyone feel's the same as I do, Im often seen as fun and bubbly, but inside im hurt. In high school life was hard, I got bullied cause I was alway's alone and cause I was different, like I don't wear expensive clothes or do my hair a certain way. I still get picked on by some people but im learning to ignore it. I feel isolated and find it hard to talk in groups. I feel like I have no confidence and I am practically alway's letting people step on me. I wanna find some way's to feel more confident.

Re: Feeling left out

Hi Princess_204

Thanks for sharing how you're feeling with us.

Firstly I wanted to say you're not the only one feeling the way you do - we've all felt a bit lonely or isolated at times. It is especially hard after school as you have to figure out what you're actually doing with your life and your friendships can change so much.

There are a couple of good articles here on RO that you might find helpful.
This one is on isolation: http://au.reachout.com/All-about-loneliness
And this one is about confidence: http://au.reachout.com/All-about-loneliness

If you're ever feeling particularly low and just need someone to talk to, the lovely folks at Kids Helpline are always available on 1800 55 1800.

And of course, you'll always find someone to share your experiences here on ReachOut as well Smiley Happy

JDx

Re: Feeling left out

hey princess cheers for applying

 

at the moment your in a huge transition in life from high school to uni or work . it can be a awesome and overally scary time . dont worry alot of people use provado and being overally bubbly to fit into the group its an defence machinism sometimes to hide whats really going on . just between you and me im 100% guilty of it . fake it till you make it

 

but finding confidence is hard sometimes . but here are some tips from a little bit of expirence

 

  • join a social club of some kind - for me growing up it was skateboarding and music but everyone has a passion . if you have something you already know alot about something and the convosation will flow with out needing a huge amount of confidence
  • go into social settings with a well known mate - it helps
  • dont beat your self up when things go wrong

hope this helps

Re: Feeling left out

I know exactly how you feel, Princess. I dress differently from everyone else, I have different hair, I have completely different views on everything. I used to spend recess and lunch locked in a toilet cubicle listening to music, because no one wanted me around. I sit with a pretty average group of kids, but I don't say anything and I zone out, cause I don't feel comfortable or really part of the conversations. My confidence levels have dropped heaps, and I can hardly perform in front of people anymore (which is ironic, because I used to love performing in music class, now I can barely do it).

 

I suppose you have to remember that the people bullying you had/have insecurities that they were terrified of people knowing about so they cover it up by looking powerful by bullying. Or they're just ignorant losers who can't comprehend anything that's not the social definition of normal. You wont even remember those people in 5 years time. My advice is just focus on being the best you can be, and build up a group of friends who will support and accept you.

 

Let the bullies know in an assertive, witty way that they don't affect you even if what they say really does hurt, and expose them in front of other people as the bully they are. If they feel other people will take their behaviour as mean and unacceptable, and they think that what they're doing isn't affecting you and they're wasting their time, they'll back off.

 

Be yourself! Making great friends who will never make you feel alone and confidence doesn't happen overnight. But it will happen eventually. Good luck.  Smiley Very Happy

- B

Re: Feeling left out

hi princess 

 

high school can be a pretty wild time with all the hormones, trends, groups and insecurities. i hope there's something about high school you like. is there a youth centre in your area ? they may have some organised activites like movies, sports or art classes or something. or is there a youth group of some kind ? i know where i lived they had a group of young people who organised music events and met up weekly to organise that. i made a lot of friends there as well which was a bonus.