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Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

Hey @Cheeseburger,

I'm so sorry you've been feeling sad and stuck at the moment. Having a relationship can be really amazing, and I have definitely been in a similar situation to you before where I felt like I would never find the right person. It took me a long time to work this out, and things are different for everyone, but I started to feel a lot happier when I invested time in making my own happiness (if that makes sense).

 

After my last breakup I felt really alone, but eventually with the help of a counsellor and some good friends I started to implement some self-care strategies (taking myself on a "self-date" where I go somewhere I like and treat myself kindly, taking care of my personal grooming even if it was just a long bath or taking a shower/washing my face, and trying to eat lots of fruits and veggies). It isn't a quick thing or a cure-all, but taking the time to show myself love and appreciation helped me to feel okay just doing me. I'm wondering if there are any self-care strategies you could implement? There's some suggestions here if you need some inspiration. Feel free to share any ideas you have on the self-care threads on the forums, I'm so so many people on there would love to hear from you. 

 

Sending you virtual hugs!

____________________________________________________
β€œYour now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

@Cheeseburger  I'm so sad to hear that you're feeling so trapped. Smiley Sad I think that it's okay not to be okay after a breakup. Do you have any distractions or coping mechanisms that help when you're feeling this way?

Supportive family and friends can also be a great comfort, especially when you're feeling upset about a breakup. When you think about it, they can fulfill a lot of our relationship needs too.

You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. There is still plenty of time to find your soulmate. In fact, it's never too late. I just read a news article about a couple aged in their 80s and 90s who got married. I also know that you will go on to accomplish a lot of great things in life other than getting into a relationship. Thinking of your hobbies, the things that you do well and the positive things about yourself can be really helpful during times of rejection.

Thinking of you @Cheeseburger Heart

Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

Hey @WheresMySquishy @MisoBear I'm not ok anymore, I'm really struggling, been staying offline, and it dont help, I'm feeling trapped rn, and I'm scared πŸ’”πŸ₯ΊπŸ˜žπŸ˜₯πŸ˜’πŸ€•πŸ˜­πŸ˜” I feel dead inside and, i see my counselor until Thursday, I'm struggling with my sexuality, I'm trans Female to Male, but I'm not sure if I like just boys, just girls, if I'm bi or if I like all genders, it's hard bcuz I'm scared about getting into a relationship again, my ex from a week or 2 weeks ago, broke me to much and to bad, I'm slowly giving up, I'm not enjoying anything I use to anymore, soon I'm going to see Toy Story 4 In the cinemas, and I'm worried, if I'm gonna enjoy it, it's hard to explain my feelings, most days I get up in the morning, eat breakfast then go back to sleep again, sleep is my only escape from this pain I'm in, I tried so hard and now I feel broken, I'm slowly losing more and more friends, I think I have about 2 ppl who care (besides my family) I'm lost in this cruel world, and I'm scared about getting thru this rough patch πŸ˜”πŸ˜­πŸ€•πŸ˜’πŸ˜₯😞πŸ₯ΊπŸ’” I'm tired of faking being happy, and getting up and putting a smile in my face, it's fake, everyone asks how I am and I say I'm fine, when truly I'm not, only one person knows, when u say I'm fine I'm truly not, and he gets busy, so I have no one to really talk to anymoreπŸ’”πŸ₯ΊπŸ˜žπŸ˜₯πŸ˜’πŸ€•πŸ˜­πŸ˜” I'm barely eating anymore, and my best friend the one person who knows when I'm lying about being, fine is always worried about me not eating, and when I do eat, I barely do, it's worrying everyone πŸ˜”πŸ˜­πŸ€•πŸ˜’πŸ˜₯😞πŸ₯ΊπŸ’”

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Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

@Cheeseburger  I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Smiley Sad Discovering and accepting who you are can be really hard. It's more like a process rather than a sudden realisation. People often go through various stages along the way and not everyone goes through each stage. I think that it's really important to take your time to explore your feelings. There is no rush to understand your sexuality straight away. There is still plenty of time to find out who you are and who you are attracted to. It's also never too late to find out more about yourself. I have known people who have realised that they were not straight after spending years in a marriage with an opposite sex partner. Do you think that your counsellor would be able to help you explore these kinds of feelings? I have heard of a few good therapists who have been able to provide a safe space for their clients to explore their sexuality and reassure them that it's okay to not be straight, for example (not that I'm assuming anything about your sexuality).

It can also be really tough to get into a new relationship after being hurt a lot of times. A heartbreak can affect our view of the world and make us pessimistic about future experiences. We can often jump to conclusions, such as assuming that our new partner would treat us the same as our previous one, and be more self-conscious of ourselves. It's also easy to be hard on ourselves and think only of the negative, such as 'They must not have liked me', 'I ruined our date', or 'They must have noticed that pimple on my forehead for sure'. I find that it's really helpful to evaluate these kinds of thoughts and think of other possibilities behind people's actions. I'm sure you'll find someone who is right for you eventually. Heart

It's so cool how you're seeing Toy Story 4! I wish I could see it, but I'm pretty busy at the moment. I heard that it got lots of good reviews. I hope that you enjoy it! Smiley Happy

Rough patches can be so frustrating. Smiley Sad I can relate to getting into those kind of patterns myself.This is just a blip in your life. Right now, you could be feeling as though you're stuck, but you can become 'unstuck' at any time. I've heard that it can help some people to keep a schedule or routine, as well as planning time for self-care activities, when they're going through rough patches.

Do you think that it would help you to open up to anyone about your true feelings? I know that you say that you don't have a lot of people you're close to, but who knows? You could end up being surprised by people's willingness to support you. A lot of my acquaintances have ended up being more caring and helpful than I thought they were.

I hope things can get better for you. Heart

Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

Hey @Cheeseburger, sounds like you're having a really tough time. I would feel confused and trapped too if I was going through what you are right now. I just want to check that you're safe right now?

I know it's only Monday, but you managed to get through the day. Even if just getting through the day is all you managed to do today, you still did it. You said it yourself, this is a rough patch and it hurts a lot, but it is temporary. I promise you that there will be a time where you feel better again.

Right now it seems like there are a lot of emotions swirling around in your head, and you don't know what to address first. That can be so overwhelming, I've definitely been there. Sometimes what helps me is to write down on a piece of physical paper all the things that I'm worried about. Then I rip the page out of my notebook and crumple it up. Then I throw it across the room. Is there something that helps you to feel safe and calm? We're here for you.
____________________________________________________
β€œYour now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

Hi @Cheeseburger! Last Monday was pretty tough for you. How are you doing today? I hope you're feeling better. Heart

Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

hey @Cheeseburger
how are you going?
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

Hey @scared01  @WheresMySquishy  @MisoBear  @Bee  sorry about the late reply, I've been feeling better, I still wake up and have no energy, I'm doing better tho, and that's thanks to 6 Ppl and my family, and my counselor, but me and my couselor are working on, the issues that are going on, I lost my best friendπŸ˜₯ but tbh he wasn't really my best friend as he kept hurting me.

 

Me and my couselor are working on these things: Depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and ADHD recently, just found out, that I definently have Autism, and I have ADD, and me and my couselor are working on, me being trans.

 

So I'm a boy, but the pain I get with it is annoying, hopefully either next year or the year after I can finely start Testorone, and feel like a boy

 

But I'm doing better and that's thanks to someone specialπŸ₯°πŸ˜β˜ΊοΈπŸ₯Ί not gonna jinx it, so I'm not gonna talk about him

 

I finished my online course, now I gotta go to TAFE and do things with my life, I'm gonna study to become a Vet (been my dream since I was 3)

 

On the 15th of July, it was the worst day of my life, but then I met someone, and he saved me

Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

hi @Cheeseburger sounds like your getting on the right path with quite a few positives in there.
well done on finishing your tafe course as well.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Feeling like I lost myself πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I haven't been myself at all 😭

Hey @Cheeseburger,
Its good to hear you are doing better despite still struggling with fatigue when you wake up. Its really admirable that you still have a clear goal about what you want to do with your future despite being faced with so many challenges. When do you think you will enroll in your TAFE course? It sounds like you have a good group of people supporting you which is really special. That must be such a relief to know that you will be able to start testosterone next year and finally start to feel like yourself Heart