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Feeling like life has already passed me by

I'm 24. I'm finally about to finish my undergraduate degree. I have not yet been able to secure a full time job moving into the new year so I'll continue with my part-time job which I've been doing for years now. I feel stuck and have no sense of direction in my life.

It's been 6 years since I finished high school (that's how long it's taken me to get through uni). Uni has been an overwhelmingly disappointing experience. I was told by my parents that this would be where I would really find like-minded people and have a blast and really grow into my own person. I've hardly made one real friend in my 6 years there. Obviously a lot of that is my fault.

And yet, I look around at my friends from high school who I'm still close with and they've made new friendship groups and have started their careers in medicine, accounting, marketing and I.T. - while I'm still searching for my place. Most of them are in long-term, committed relationships while I can't manage to maintain a relationship longer than 8 months. 

Like my username says, I feel significantly behind the curve. I just don't know how my life got to this point when I look back 6 years ago. I'm lonely, anxious, increasingly introverted and full of regret. Worst part is, I don't know how to fix this and get myself out of this 6 year rut. 


Re: Feeling like life has already passed me by

Hey @behindthecurve!


There's a lot of reflection coming through here! Introspection can be a great tool but it sounds like things have become a bit ruminative Smiley Sad


You say that you're stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out of it. Something I tend to do when I get stuck is to try and imagine what I'd like my life to look like in 6, 12, 18 months time... what would you like to have changed? How would things be different? Once you have a sense of direction, it's easier to then work back to more short-term goals. What do you think?


Also for what it's worth, it's taken me 5 years to get through uni (3 year degree). Life expectancies are going up and we're living longer - it's okay to take your time when you're young Heart

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Feeling like life has already passed me by

You are not alone. I'm going through the same thing and had a similar experience with university and watching friends move on and find their own things. Its important to remember that just because they've found new friends doesn't meant they don't value you and your friendship -- its hard to remember when you feel forgotten or replaced -- but the true friends will stay around and support you.

University is different for everyone, it seems like you've learnt a lot about yourself though and staying honest to you is the hardest thing. I hope things get a little easier but i totally recognise and sympathise with the struggle of being in your 20's and not knowing what you want. <3

Re: Feeling like life has already passed me by

Hi @behindthecurve!

I've had a similar experience with university and I can relate to feeling behind the curve. It can be hard to watch friends finish their degrees and start careers while you're still studying, but it is important to remember that we all learn, grow and find ourselves at different speeds.

Like @lokifish said its okay to take you're time Heart - my 4 year degree will have taken me 8 years by the time I've finished, which is still a few years away. 

When I start to feel stuck or lost I try to remember that its not about how fast I get there but about taking the time to decide what is right for me and where I want to go with what I am passionate about!