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Feeling lonely..

Hey guys,

I thought I would reach out for advice or even just a simple conversation. 
I’m a 23 yo female, in a loving relationship and have pets but I’m still struggling to make friends.   Every potential friend I do meet either moves towns, wants to move or just has no time for me.   I’m a very introverted person so it is hard for me to meet people who just want to stay in rather go out etc.   This constant pattern has just led me to give up.   I work and study so that helps keep my mind off things but I’m looking for potential other outlets to keep my mind occupied or even maybe finding someone I can chat to online to fill the void? 


Re: Feeling lonely..

Hi @Introvert2195 


I'm maryhadalittlelamb, and I to struggle with making and keeping friends. A lot of my friends are toxic so I leave. This leading to only having a few close friends. But I also have my pets to comfort me In difficult times.


Thank you for reaching out. You have made a first great step to making a new group of friends on the forum. Don't give up with making friends, with work and stuffing it can take over your life sometimes. My solution is to find some me time where you do something that makes you happy. Ie art, reading a book etc. 


I would say to make new friends go up to someone that looks lonely and sit with them. Strike up a conversation with them and ask how is there day. It can be scary but this way you can attest get yourself out there.


Always remember your worth. You are beautiful and brave and unique that puts something special in the world that wasn't here before.


Re: Feeling lonely..

Hello @Introvert2195 and welcome to the forums! Smiley Happy


Making friends can definitely be a struggle. It's hard to make friends when people prefer to go out to places and you'd rather stay home. 


Finding hobbies and things you enjoy can be a great way to meet new people while also enjoying yourself. Things like clubs about hobbies or even with your pets too (such as art clubs, theatre, sports, etc.) and even online spaces. 


We also have a huge list of threads on different topics that you might find interesting and what to talk about! The threads list is here Smiley Happy 


Do you have anything planned for this week? 


Re: Feeling lonely..

Hi @Introvert2195 , I struggle to make new friends too and am quite an introverted person. I would much rather stay in and watch netflix or go for a coffee date with a friend rather than go to parties/clubs etc. I think that is why I struggle to make friends as most people my/our age are into those sorts of things.


I do enjoy my own company, but like you said it can get a bit lonely sometimes and it did take me a long time to find 'my people'. 


You mentioned you study, whether that be university, tafe, etc. this is a great way to meet people with the same interests as you! I actually met my current friend group by asking to meet up and study for an assignment together and now we are all super close! This might be an option for you if you study on campus. 


@N1ghtW1ng  made a great point as well that doing hobbies you enjoy is a great way to meet like minded people. There is a class for just about anything these days so whether that be an art class, book club, etc. these kind of things might be useful to meet new people while also doing things you enjoy. 


Don't give up, making friends is extremely hard but it is important to stay true to yourself and you will attract the right kind of people. I'm also always happy to chat with anyone on these forums! Smiley Happy 


Re: Feeling lonely..

Hi @Introvert2195!


Thank you so much for coming to the forums and sharing how you're feeling!

As a fellow introvert, I can absolutely identify with everything you said in your post. I'm in a long distance relationship and a lot of my closest friends are now all spread out in different towns so I find it takes a lot of planning and time to catch up with them. And that doesn't particularly help when you're just having a crap day and want a last minute cuppa with someone. 

Can you use your work and study connections to make friends? I find it a bit easier to make friends in these spaces because you already have something in common to talk about!


On another note, you'll always find people to talk to on the forums Smiley Happy


Re: Feeling lonely..

Hi @Introvert2195! Welcome to the forums!

I think this is a very common issue. I am also very introverted and have trouble keeping friends. I am constantly learning who is going to be there for me and who doesn't have time. People have told me that I make others happy, but they don't make me happy.

One way to make new friends is to join a group or attend a local event of some sort. This is a good website for this. I have also made a lot of friends through volunteering. Being involved in a study group can also be a good idea.
Online communities like Tumblr, Discord and Reddit can also be beneficial. You might be able to find ones based on a shared experience, interest or fandom. There is also an app called SLOWLY which can help you make penfriends.
Another good idea is to try to send people a message from time to time, just to ask how they're going.
We have a few good articles with other suggestions. Smiley Happy