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Feeling lost

This last week I have been feeling lost, like I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here anymore.
I can't seem to get rid of all the negative thoughts about going through my cancer journey. I just want to give up and stop fighting but I know I cant. My friend sent me a message tonight and said "You be positive and stop being depressed it's not helping you or anyone around u"
I don't understand how I'm supposed to take this message. Am I supposed to take it in a way that she wants me to stop talking to her or she is saying it in a positive way.
I can't help the way I think. I wish I could switch it off but I cant and that's what I hate the most about myself
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Re: Feeling lost

Hey @Talitha93,

Nice to hear from you again. Smiley Happy No-one can blame you for feeling confused or lost when you are dealing with cancer. It's totally understandable.

Unfortunately, unless people have experienced an illness like that themselves, or in their family, sometimes they really don't understand what you're going through, and that can sometimes mean that they say things which aren't that helpful.

You deserve to have people supporting you - which means listening, not telling you how you should behave!

You mentioned a little while ago that you had told a couple of people close to you about your diagnosis. If they are having trouble supporting you, would you consider calling Kids Helpline where you can talk to someone who won't judge you, who'll just listen and hopefully help you make sense of what you're going through? You can call them on 1800 55 1800.

 

Take care,

blithe

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Re: Feeling lost

Hey @blithe thanks for replying

My friend I'm referring to has been so supportive up until now and I don't know what to do I was going to message her this... Morning.... As you said in your message last night I need be positive and stop being depressed it's not helping me or anyone around me... it's made me think a lot an I'm glad you told me how you feel and what your opinions are other wise i wouldn't know what you were thinking.
I never thought about the things I was saying or how they were effecting you an I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to do right now, all I can think of is giving you some space.
But I don't know if it's the right thing to do.
I have considered it but tbh I'm a little scared!
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Re: Feeling lost

Hey @Talitha93,

That sounds like a really diplomatic message you're going to send to your friend. You're a really thoughtful friend to be making sure that you think about her feelings too, not just your own. Maybe you can suggest doing something fun together, where you just enjoy each other's company, or she just catches you up on what's going on in her life? Hopefully that can help you to feel a bit more normal and relaxed too. Smiley Happy

 

Good luck!

blithe

 

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Re: Feeling lost

Hi @Talitha93 

 

I just want to add my own experience. 
I was going through such a hard time that the only thing I could talk about was my illness. Nothing else mattered in life and I did start fear that I shouldnt talk about it anymore because I am just a broken record talking about sad things.

 

I told a friend of mine my fear and she said that just keep doing it. Some friends will be there for you no matter how many times you talk about it and some people cant handle it. Just let it out, I know how "good" it feels to share your thoughts with others.

 

He or she may not know what you are going through, so I wouldnt worry about it. 

I found when I open up my problems to people they may share their own problems and gradually you will find a lot of people have their own illness/problems and you get to empathise with each other.

 

Hell if I met you we would talk for days and I would listen to you until forever. Smiley Happy

 

All the best with your journey. I wish I can talk to you more about stopping negative thoughts. 

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Re: Feeling lost

@bithe I think about other feelings more than my own. But my friend thinks I should be selfish and think of myself. See she has things going on in her life but she has never opened up to me about it. Part of me thinks that she is just talking to me because she knows I'm sick..
Thanks for sharing.
That would be great Smiley Wink
Oh geez feel free to email me about stopping the negative thoughts I
It's been super hard to think positive lately..
Hope to hear from you soon 😃
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Re: Feeling lost

Hi @Talitha93 

Really quick message here. You are not allowed to give out info on these forums. 

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Re: Feeling lost

@standinside
Thanks for letting me know Smiley Wink
Is there a way I can delete it or no?
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Re: Feeling lost

Hey talitha, no worries I see you or one of the mods edited it. 

 

hey we have heaps of info on reachout about negative thinking and how to challenge negative thoughts or negative "self talk" (that's our internal voice, can trick us sometimes be being overly negative but presents the feelings as fact).

 

Check out this info it really helped me as well as Sarah's story and Ally's story.

 

 

and 

 

 

 

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

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Re: Feeling lost

@sophie-RO
Thanks for the links. Smiley Wink

@blithe I sent the message to my friend this morning and she replied with
No Hun I'm talking bout your friends and people around you not me Hun it's just your attitude now it all depends on you. You need to think positive for yourself so you can get through this. Either way you need to go through it might as well do it thinking strong and positive