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Feeling neglected


so I'm new at this but I'm going to give it a shot.

Lately I've been feeling pretty unhappy with my life, not that my life is bad, its just feeling that way at the moment. My mum passed away a few months ago and I've moved in with my dad and step mum. I haven't talked to them or my friends about how I'm feeling and I'm pretty lonely. My dad isn't really paying that much attention to me and I don't really know what to do. How do I talk to my friends about how I'm feeling? Should I tell my dad how I feel?




Re: Feeling neglected

Hi @tee I'm really sorry to hear about your current situation.  It sounds as though you're really wanting more support from your friends and family, but you feel a bit uncomfortable trying to talk about it?


Talking can be very beneficial, but sometimes it can be tricky to get started.  In the past, other reachout members have suggested writing down what you want to say, either to guide your thoughts, or as a letter?  You could also have a look at these tips for communicating.  Sometimes it can be best to just come straight out and say it.


In terms of who to talk to, just think about what you want.  If you don't want to talk to your dad, then don't.  Alternatively if you do want to, then do!  You shouldn't be feeling guilty or as though you have to.  If you want to talk to someone outside your friends and family, you could try calling lifeline (13 11 14)? They can offer some really great support.  Good luck and keep us in the loop!


Re: Feeling neglected

Hi @tee, first of all I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Losing a family member (especially one that close) is a very tough thing to go through.


I think @tsnyder has given some great suggestions about getting the conversation with your dad and friends about how you've been feeling started. I really encourage you to give it a go because having social support is so helpful when you're dealing with grief. It might also be useful for you to give this article a read in looking into some other strategies that could be helpful.


On top of reaching out to the people around you, have you considered talkng to a psychologist or counselor about what you've been going through? There are mental health professionals who specialize in stuff around loss and grief, so that could be worth looking into. 


I hope some of this was helpful for you, please let us know how things go Smiley Happy


Re: Feeling neglected

Thank you for posting your story here @tee. Grief is such a difficult thing to negotiate and the death of a parent is infinitely harder to cope with. I am sure many others will benefit by you sharing your situation with us.


It is great that you feel ready to start reaching out for help - this can often be the hardest part for many in a similar situation. @Chessca_H has shared a great link for working through grief and I want to assure you that it is ok to take your time processing your feelings. The grieving process really does take a long time and we all deal with it differently. You may find this info on common reactions to death helpful.


Talking to someone you trust about how you are feeling is definitely a good way to go, and I would suggest speaking to a professional if you are struggling. Your friends are a good place to start, even if you just want to have a coffee with someone. From personal experience I found people were ready and willing to listen when I was ready to open up. RO also has a great article on the benefits of talking that you might find useful.


Please stick around the forums and keep us updated on how you are doing.


Re: Feeling neglected

@tee sorry to hear about your mother.


Perhaps it is natural that you will go through a down process with such a significant event in your life. My advice would be not to struggle with it but accept it as perhaps a process you may need to go through as you adapt, grow and move through life.


I would definately encourage you to talk to your dad about it. Communication is really important, and it can be easy to have bad communication with parents. Perhaps talking to your dad about it might even bring you guys closer, and maybe even result in a it more attention from him.



Good on you for giving Reachout a shot, I hope it provided some value for you