Feeling so alone
I just cant shake of this feeling of being so alone right now. I'm just having a hard few days and my best friend hasnt well been a best friend. I keep giving her the benefit of a doubt but she hasnt been there for me like I have for her. Then when i try talking to her just feel like i get this vibe of like she is fed up with me for feeling down most the time. I feel like cutting her out because why have a so called best friend when she isnt even there for me and it upsets me more that I put so much time and effort into a friendship and when I need her the most she isnt there for me. What makes it awkward is i work along side her mother. It's not even her that I feel like she is fed up with the way I am but also people from work when I'm having a bad day they stay clear of me and just makes me feel even more lonely and when I try opening up to my closest sister I feel like she is getting fed up with me because before she would see me more now I hardly see her and when I message her she doesnt really say much to me ... I have trouble trying to explain how I feel because when I do it just always turns into an argument with someone so I'm scared to open up to them. I just dont know what to do anymore who to trust who to turn to. Just feel like I'm always at war with my head and my thoughts and with the people that is close to me.
Re: Feeling so alone
I'm sorry to hear how you've been feeling really isolated and unsupported by your friends and loved ones at the moment. Sometimes the most important thing to us when we are feeling down or low is to feel heard and understood by the people that we trust most in the world.
It can be really important to keep communication open and clear between us and those we rely on. From what you've been saying, it sounds like you feel people aren't properly listening to what you say or that they are dismissing how you feel. However, sometimes when we are feeling low, our brain can trick us into putting a more negative slant on how we perceive the world. It can be really, really easy to assume the worst when we are feeling bad, especially if a conversation plays out differently to how we expect it to. Checking in with your friend, or sister might really help to cut through any confusion or suspicions you have about their support. Even saying something like "Hey, recently I've noticed that you've been a bit distant when I've discussed my thoughts and feelings, and I just wanted ask if you feel uncomfortable or frustrated when we talk about that sort or thing?"
Another really difficult thing to realise is that, as much as we love and care about those close to us, and want their advice and support when we aren't feeling our best, sometimes we have to recognise that everyone has their limitations. While the people you are close to may really truly want to help support you, they might not have the energy or resources to invest. It can be incredibly easy to accidentally burnout when supporting others, so it's important to respect a person's boundaries if they've been outlined (another reason why it's important to keep communication open and honest!)
I do want to clarify that there are lots of other support systems and places you can turn to if you are in need of more professional or in depth advice about what to do when life is hard. It can be super valuable to talk to a therapist or counsellor, as their knowledge can really help put things into perspective for you. Not only that, but they're also trained to deal some of the most heavy issues a person can go through, without making you feel judged or uncomfortable. Some really great resources that you can turn to include Kids HelpLine, BeyondBlue, eheadspace, and LifeLine. These are all 24hr phone services where you can talk to a trained counsellor who can help you work through some of the distress you might be feeling recently.
Re: Feeling so alone
Sounds like you're going through a really difficult time. I'm hearing that you're feeling very alone at the moment, and that it feels like some of the people you are close to are pulling away from you. I'm also acknowledging that you're courageously reaching out to people when you need support, even when others aren't seeming to be as supportive as they once were.
I'm wondering whether you have tried talking to your friend about how her behaviour is making you feel? She might not even be realising that what she is doing is hurting you. I know this is so tough because right now you need her the most.
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down
Re: Feeling so alone
@MisoBear and @Andrea-RO have already offered some wonderful advice, support, and links to external help.. I am just checking in with you to see how you are feeling this week? Hopefully you are feeling better and this week has been kind to you, but also a reminder that if you are not we are here for you and you will never be alone. There are so many people who care about you and we are always here to listen to you!
Have you done anything for self-care this week?
Seen something fantastic on the forums?