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Feeling so much self doubt

Hello. It's been a while since I've felt a sense of real failure and shame of myself. The feelings that I am not good enough have been really creeping up on me recently. I'm trying not to let it get to me but I honestly kind of just feel like crying. I don't feel like a strong, successful person. In truth, I feel like I can barely cope with being an adult. I don't know if it's just lockdown that's getting to me but everything feels like a struggle. I'm not getting to bed until really late and that causes me to sleep in until early afternoon. I'm also out of work due to lockdown. Have been since March . And recently I've applied for a few jobs and keep receiving rejection emails. I feel so helpless tbh. Smiley Sad 

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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

Hey @mspaceK so sorry you've been going through such a horrible time recently. Feeling not good enough is an awful feeling and it sounds like these feelings are really affecting different areas of your life. Are you getting any supports around these feelings? Is there anyone in your life that you talk to about this?

Getting rejection emails for jobs really sucks so much, it can be so disheartening when you put all that effort into an application. We've had some content pieces recently around this because its been coming up for a lot of people, this one is about handling job rejection and this one is about coping when you've lost your job, if you're interested in checking them out. I understand you're not feeling like a strong successful person, but it takes a lot of strength to apply for jobs Heart

It can definitely be hard when we're feeling crap to know what is lockdown/covid related, and what feelings might be something else. I think its understandable that things are a struggle given what you're going through, be gentle with yourself, we are here for you Heart

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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

Hi @mspaceK - thank you for reaching out via the online forums and sharing your struggles at the moment. Im sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time and know that you can always turn to the forums for somewhere to talk. I know personally, I am also starting to really struggle with lockdown and am starting to have some anxieties with the entire experience. I have had to implement some serious self-help strategies to cope with this such as busying myself with projects, exercise, working on my resume and job applications and general self-care such as focusing on healthy eating and cooking. Having something to do during the day and looking forward to may really help your sleep schedule and motivate you to implement a proper routine with it.

Have you tried implementing some of these strategies? Also, if you think it is necessary it would be a really appropriate time to visit your GP to have a chat or potentially seek some online services such as Lifeline. There are so many free resources out there particularly with covid at the moment, I can help you with this if you like?

I understand how awful this time is and the stress and worry it has caused so many people. I really empathise with you as I feel like I am in a similar situation. Keep on taking it day by day.

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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

Hey @mspaceK, we're here for you Heart I understand how you feel about finding work, I recently had a few job applications rejected and it was really frustrating and disheartening. And I'm sorry you're feeling this way, it's okay to take a break from adult life and do something that might be more relaxing or exciting. The pandemic has not been kind to us, so it's more than fine to be extra kind to ourselves during these uncertain and difficult circumstances.

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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

Hi @mspaceK, I'm sorry you have been feeling this way. This pandemic has been hard and many of us have been out out work/routine. It's not about you not being a strong, successful person, it's the circumstances that have been making it hard for you and many others, adults included. If you feel like crying, may be it's worth letting your feelings out. It looks like you are still volunteering your time on RO, that's something that will be valuable for your career in the long run. And you have been applying for jobs, that's also something. Is there anything else you can do/change that will help you, even just a little?

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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

Hey @mspaceK I'm so sorry that you've been feeling this way Smiley Sad i know what it's like to doubt yourself even if nothing in particular is going wrong!

Adulting is hard! I'm entering that world and i'm getting closer and closer to being independent and it is honestly scary! Try not to beat yourself up to much about it because it is a learning curve everyone has to go through and you are doing your best! Maybe check out this link; Getting Real Live Chat it discusses all about adulting and honestly made me feel soooo much better!

 

Things i like to do when i feel myself slipping into self-doubt is to make lists of what i want to achieve during the day, so as i go along and tick them off, it gives me a sense of worth and empowers me to know and remember that i can do things, even if they are little like brush my teeth in the morning or brush my hair. I also like to try and set my days around my schedule of how i am feeling because i also go through times where i find it difficult to sleep. So for example if know i cant sleep until late because im struggling, ill let myself sleep for the 8 hours i need, and give myself some rest when i wake up and then start my day. 

 

Maybe these are some things you can try?

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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

@mspaceK Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. What do you think you can do right now that can boost your confidence and is something you enjoy doing?

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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

@hunginc @sunnygirl606 @November13 @featuringme @Wolfie_ 

Thank you for your replies everyone. I am overwhelmed by your input and support. It means a lot and I really appreciate it. I'll try and touch on a few things you asked and mentioned. 

 

I haven't spoken to my gp or counselor in a while so I'm going to try and contact them this week and next week to let them know how I have been feeling. Other than that I have been speaking to a few friends and my boyfriend and his family about some of my struggles and they have given me some help and advice and support too which is good. 

 

I had a friend help me revamp my resume so I'm going to try and apply for jobs again this weekend. My friend gave me insight and perspective into her process for getting a full time job and that kind of helped me to see that I'm only just beginning my journey. There are heaps of opportunities still out there so I just got to keep trying. 

 

As for the whole daily routine thing and sleeping....that is something I am very much struggling with. I'll give myself some ideas of stuff to do during the day and then I usually don't end up doing them. Mostly I just feel tired and then end up sleeping a lot. I do like these ideas though. My motivation to stick to it is so bad though. 

 

Some of the things I'm interested in for my daily routine though would be: 

A walk.

Ride exercise bike at home. 

Cook.

Read.

Video games. 

 

Umm sometimes drawing or colouring. Maybe cleaning. 

 

My main problem is being able to get myself up at a reasonable hour and then sleeping at a good time too. As you can see it is late right now. I'm tired but just can't seem to sleep. 

 

I will say that I feel disappointed in myself. Smiley Sad 

 

 

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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

Hey @mspaceK, I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling lately. I do think that lockdown has a way of making every little thing difficult, so it is totally understandable that things are so hard for you right now. It is so nice to read that you have some amazing support around you to help you get through this. It is also great that you are reaching out to your GP and counselor - I really hope you find their support helpful.

It is also really sweet that your friend helped you with your resume and gave you some tips. I know I find it helpful to see what other people are doing and what their process is. I hope that it helps you get some more interviews Smiley Happy

It really sucks when you can't get to sleep and then wake up late the next day.. sometimes the cycle just repeats over and over and it can be difficult to break the cycle. It might also be worth chatting to your GP or psychologist about your sleep hygiene. Sometimes they have suggestions that can help you get back on track. I often slip up with my sleeping pattern because I am a night owl and I find that getting back on track is the hardest part Heart
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Re: Feeling so much self doubt

Man what a plan! It's great that you've been seeking advice and working out what you're doing next! Yeah the whole sleep hygiene thing is real difficult. I have definitely done the same about a million times, and got back to a normal schedule about a million and one times, so I think it's safe to say it's possible to go back to sleeping at a good time. I think @Taylor-RO's idea to chat with a GP or psychologist about sleep hygiene is spot on. And it's probably a good idea to be kind to yourself, you're doing lots of things to get things back on track. Just because your sleep schedule is off doesn't mean you're not doing a good job managing your life Heart