cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

@Janine-RO Leo ripped up one of his toilet training pads and scattered it all over the room.

I'm in a different room trying not to self harm. I was able to email mum and ask her to come home. Idk what I'm going to do now. Just wait for mum to come home I guess.

Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

Oh, Leo! Puppies can be pretty destructive, hey. It's great that  you were able to email your mum so that she could come home.. do you find distraction techniques or anything else to be useful when you're trying to avoid self harm? 

__________

Check out our community activities calendar for August 2020 here
Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

Hey @Tiny_leaf, just wanted to check in with you tonight to see how you were going. I know it's been a really difficult day for you, I hope that things have settled down a little since. 

Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

Hi @Tiny_leaf 

 

Oh my gosh i feel you! Jakey rips up his puppy pads after he has weed on them so gross so now I just use a towel lol I had to give up! Plus he has started chewing my door when I don't give him attention check out this pic! But then he is sooo cute how can i stay mad. Hope you are feeling better today 

 

2020-09-22.jpg2020-09-22 (1).jpg

Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

Aw @Tiny_leaf I feel you! My puppy did that as well. It's a lot of work but I promise it eventually pays off!

Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

Okay so first.. oh my gosh what a destructive puppy...

 

 

Secondly I think I've disappeared from the forums for a while....

I'm pretty dissociated right now, and my brain has fully embraced the whole "time is a concept" mindset so I have no idea how long I've been gone.

 

But may as well blurt some stuff out while my guard is down because I think I might need to talk.

 

It turns out, my depression is really good at numbing me to stuff.

And it also turns out, these new anti-depressants are pretty fucking effective.

So now there are a lot of feelings. Like not even just emotions, but just like.. how my body feels.

 

So now I'm feeling fear and hunger and pain like a normal human being and can I just say I don't like it.

Like I've got chronic pain and a pain management plan that consists of pretty much ****-all and now I can feel my joints just moving around in ways I definitely do not want them moving and pain running up my nerves.

Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

And the hunger. Oh my gosh I had no idea how much good I was meant to be eating but turns out human bodies need a lot more food than I realised.

 

Also now I keep actually remembering trauma. Like without prompting.

I thought I'd just sort of.. gotten over that but turns out I'd just managed to block it all out.

 

Also the anxiety. I thought I'd mostly recovered from that but nope!

Turns out I'd just stopped caring enough about anything to be nervous and now it feels like the world is literally ending.

 

So like... technically this is progress.

But it's like those Scooby Doo episodes where they catch the ghost and it turns out the ghost is actually just a guy wearing a bed sheet.

It turns out my issues were just being hidden by the numbness and they're all still there and I have to deal with them now.

Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

Hey @Tiny_leaf that sounds so rough Smiley Sad The pain you're experiencing must be so exhausting, my heart goes out to you. It must be so tough feeling like you were on top of anxiety and trauma and then having them rudely come right back into full view. Sometimes new medication can take some getting used to and it can be hard to know what it's meant to feel like, do you feel like you're getting support around your medication?

It's really cool that you're seeing progress -  while the feelings are so awful, you are still able to see a shift and that is pretty amazing Heart

The ScoobyDoo analogy made a lot of sense to me, you said you're issues are still there and now you have to deal with them, would you feel comfortable telling us about what you think that might look like for you?

We are always here for you @Tiny_leaf thanks for being so open about what's going on for you Heart

Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

I don't know what to do.

My support worker decided to be a bit of an asshole to me today and that drained all my energy.

I nearly got it back because I thought there was a thing I could do to help clean the house but I'd need some help starting it off.

And even if it's because I'm trying to help someone else asking for help is selfish apparently.

Highlighted

Re: Feeling terrible

Hey @Tiny_leaf, I am really sorry that someone called you selfish when you were just trying to help, especially when it comes from your support worker. Is there anyone you can talk to about this, like their higher up/employer?