cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Fight Club No.2

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Whats out there, or is anything out there?

Why am I like this and not like that?

Ah... questions......questions......Why ask question that cant be answered or can be aswered but you know you wont like that answer.Yes, people say that is called reality.So i ask people, how do you identify reality? By measuring how bad things are? People than say that is not always bad, it can be good aswell.Well i didn't  believe them so i did some science.I've been doing this experiment for so long now, and i always get the same result:Reality is a measure of how bad things are, and it has a tendency to get worse.

But people are persistent....no no no you're wrong there is something wrong with your experiments.Then, i asked myself, maybe you are the problem,experiment is not valid if you use faulty measurement gear.So whats faulty here? Is it the people and the whole world, or is it just me........ITS THE WORLD i shouted loudly and laughed....

So i made a list:-

Social life: none,

Job:none,

Wealth:none

Intelligence:I cant test myself,well i did some IQ test but they are so unreliable its pitiful...

Appearence:Atleast its not "NONE" hahah

So see my problem here? Its not some faulty part here, the whole measurement apparatus is broken.You cant fix it, if you partially fix some parts,the others get worse, so back to square one.

But then again is it really broken or people are lying, in fact they are broken..................

 

ArgghHHhhh crap what did i just wrote maybe i really am retarded.

Re: Fight Club No.2

Hey Dark energy... experiments and data can definitely influenced and manipulated by the "apparatus" it's not necessarily faulty or broken, but just presents a certain perspective, and you look for the answers that fit in to what you already believe...

Does that make sense?

I can hear from what you wrote (and congrats it's really beautifully written) but that you are looking at things from a negative/deficit perspective. It' really important to acknowledge & challenge negative thinking because a lot of the time we think we are being "neutral" but in fact it's quite negative.

Have a read of these and let me know what you think - "self-talk" is a way of describing our internal thinking
http://au.reachout.com/what-is-self-talk


Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Fight Club No.2

I also think it was beautifully written @Dark Energy, and self talk is very effective on working on internal thinking, i know it has worked for myself and maybe will work for you if you give it a shot Smiley Happy

Also, when finding an answer, if you have already pre determined ideas - that result is bias, supporting what Soph said. Definitely keep that in mind Smiley Happy

Re: Fight Club No.2

Hey Sophie thanks for the reply.....

Off course u're right.I understand that the apparatus presents a certain perspective and that you maybe can make a mistake by interpreting the results in a biased way, it's like when religious people ignore facts and adapt(distort the facts or their certain aspect of belief to fit the major aspect) them to their belief...(a.k.a apologist).But............

Isnt internal thinking and turning negatives into positives also biased? Aren't we lying to ourselves when we say:well i have no job but hey at least that women smiled at me today....That doesnt improve the situation, well it may keep me sane for a few moments but tommorow when i wake up i face the so called reality again,( when bills arrive).

I just dont understand why should i keep fighting, on the other hand i cant seem to find the courage to end my life.

Its a horrible place to be in, i always remember a line from my uncle's stories:

"Son, remember, the only fight it matters in your life is the war against yourself."

How can you know if u won or lost?

"Son every day you will have a battle, and you can consider every battle as a victory as long as you know you lost, in other words, Son you have to keep you sanity!

Poor english but i think u get the point...........

i dont know anymore if i'm insane or not.

Re: Fight Club No.2

Hey dark energy - again and really thoughtful post.. thanks! internal thinking and turning negatives into positives is definitely biased but there is no other way to understand the world! there is no escaping perspectives - you can only change from one perspective to another perspectives are all biased! but it's just that some are more unpleasant and unhealthy thank others....

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Fight Club No.2

Hey sophie thanks.....for the reply.Maybe my ranting seems unpleasent to read for some and i apologize, i know you try to help people out here.Well I radiate alot of negative energy arround me,maybe thats why people are avoiding me like plague i just dont know how to find a way to just have fun with people,do what others do, while not thinking about tommorow,stop pretending and just be myself.It's not easy,society labels you like you're some kind of alien.The big mistery is how can a man change or is it even possible,or maybe i dont want to change myself.....so what then? change the world?

I agree its a fact that you have to accept the life you're given and the card you've been dealt or maybe you can try not to think about it.Find distractions like hobbies and some activities that you like,in other words find a purpose, no matter how small the purpose,or make it up???Tried all of it except changing the world part, I tried that only once and I've gotten a black eye after that.Gahhhh pointless rant........trying to talk with someone to fill my time.

I miss those times when i was a young stupid but a happy kid, now i just want to die.There is nothing for me out here in this world.....(why when i read this myself I feel like a selfish narcisstic bastard?Too much "I"-s i guees or because i'm trying to write to myself, talking to my mind via internet hahah i get crazier every day.

Re: Fight Club No.2

Hey @Dark Energy - I just meant for you - if you are unhappy, then the negative thinking is only going to keep you there - I wasn't really thinking about the impact on others when I wrote that. See how a comment from me genuinely trying to show you we care somehow got turned into you thinking that "people avoid you like the plague"? I guess a lot of people here on the forums have been able to affect change in themselves by first changing the way they think, if you start training your thoughts, your feelings will catch up.
http://au.reachout.com/challenging-negative-thinking

It really worries me that you you want to die - and it also shows just how much pain you are feeling inside. When people start thinking about suicide it's because they are looking for a way to not feel the pain inside any more, so it's really about looking for a solution to the pain you are feeling inside, as it far outweighs your ability to cope with it.

So, to survive this we need to help you find a way to reduce your pain and/or find a way to increase your coping resources.

Does any one else know that you are thinking about suicide? I'd really love for you to web-chat with a counsellor from Suicide Call Back Service - can you promise me you'll give them a try?
https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

You don't even need to pick up the phone, just chat online - they can help you build up your ways of coping...

Let me know that you'll give them a try.

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Fight Club No.2

i understand you sophie, but it hurts, it hurts alot,cant even find the strength to talk to anyone, these days its even worse, had a big fight with my father 2 days ago, even he has given up on me.how to find happines, people are just so different from other animals,we even fight with evolution rules where the strong and capable ones survive and the weak perish.it's just irrational to me to keep on living, im just a burden to others, a parasite......

Re: Fight Club No.2

Hi @Dark Energy, it is really worrying that you are rationalising some rather negative thoughts. How did you find the sheet that @Sophie-RO suggested on challenging negative thinking? It is clear from your posts that you are a deep thinker, intelligent and articulate, and the challenging questions from that sheet stand out as being something you could complete.

 

No one should have to feel the sadness you are feeling, but know that you are not alone with your pain. It is great that you have turned to us, now keep going – is there someone you trust that you could get together with? Can you talk to your father about how the fight made you feel? Or could you write about your thoughts and feelings? Remember also to write about the things in your life that you value and appreciate, no matter how small they may seem to you.

 

Please do give the Suicide Call Back Service a try. Like Sophie said, they can help you build up your ways of coping.

Re: Fight Club No.2

hey guys, no improvements, its gotten worse.I didn't eat two days now, I just cant, everything hurts, its like i'm eating myself from the inside.Tried everything, the negative thinking questions, tried to talk to someone( which i regret).......... i cant fight this mentally, which leaves altering the bad chemicals and hormones....